


To Love, Suffer and Forgive

by jorg, rachelautumn



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Cheating!Snape, Cruel!Snape, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 10:05:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 32
Words: 86,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8708287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jorg/pseuds/jorg, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachelautumn/pseuds/rachelautumn
Summary: Severus Snape is a potions master and a passionate lover, a man with a craggy personality to match his craggy nose.  Harry Potter is the hero of the wizarding world and the love of his life.  That is until a stranger comes between them.  The torch Harrry carries for his lover has been extinguished.  Can Severus reignite the flame?





	1. Fire and Flame

**Author's Note:**

> I take no credit for this work. It's a translation from the German by the lovely Jorg. Thank you, Jorg, for giving us this great Cheating!Severus fic! I hope the translation does your work justice or at least brings it a larger audience. The archive refused to save the URL to your original work, so I will mention here that it was called, "Leben, Lieben, Leiden....Verzeihen"

Prologue: Fire and Flame

There was a crash as the fireplace in the living room flared and Harry Potter emerged, coughing and sneezing only to fall flat on his arse. Groaning, the young man stood up, shaking his head to clear the vague sick feeling he seemed to get whenever he traveled by floo. Then he pulled himself together, shook the dust off his robes and went to look for his partner.

It was just as well no one had been there to see him arrive. Harry could never understand why he of all people always had so much trouble traveling by floo . One would think that the person who vanquished Voldemort would have what it took to climb out of a chimney with a little elegance, but he didn't. It was the same with apparating. He never just popped up, like a young god. Most of the time he stumbled in like a drunk teenager, which didn't give the best impression.

"Severus, I'm back!" Harry called, his voice carrying through the cozy house in Spinners End. Severus had worked hard and spared no expense to transform his parents' house into a wonderful home, gleaming yet traditional. Harry was glad he got to live there and gladder still to leave behind the empty dust-filled spaces of the Black House in Grimmald Place.

"Severus, I said I'm home!" Harry called again, running up the stairs to see if his beloved was upstairs.

Nothing. There wasn't a sound to be heard. Neither Severus nor their house elf came out to greet Harry, now that he had finally come home after three long weeks in Paris, where he had done a training course.

The time in Paris had been demanding but necessary if he wanted to get anywhere at his job. The test, which he'd passed with flying colors at the end of the three weeks gave him the credentials he needed to train incoming recruits and set their exams, so that he could decide who was ready to be an auror.

Harry was thrilled with his decision to switch from healer training to the auror corps. Although he'd enjoyed being able to work with Severus at the hospital, he'd never really liked the profession. It took a toll on him that he couldn't save all their patients, a deep psychological toll.

Of course in his new career the same was true. He couldn't save everyone. But at least he never had to see the people for long that he rescued or put in jail. Perpetrator or victim, they were at a certain remove and he needed that.

He didn't want to let anyone close to him anymore, apart from his dearest friends and Severus; he just couldn't bear the pain.

As a healer he was always working himself to death, trying to heal all wounds and make each and every patient well again. But of course he never succeeded and it ended up making him depressed and angry. One day he'd felt pushed to the limits of what his soul could bear and that was when he decided enough was enough.

Voldemort's death and his part in it might have played a role in making him so sensitive. Since then he was just happy if he could get through a day without friction or complications. He just wanted to make things right, to overcome.

It was the opposite of what awaited him when he worked at the hospital. More and more people died in the aftermath of the war and he could do nothing about it. The only good thing about his time at St.Mungo's was that he'd gotten to know his old potions professor better and learned to love him. Saying "yes" to his relationship with Severus was the best decision he'd ever made.

A glance at the clock told Harry that he was earlier than planned. Probably Severus was still with his patients, whom he always personally informed of all the risks and complications of their potions regimens. Harry knew Severus was always scrupulously conscientious about anything to do with his work.

Since he would have to wait for his welcome home, Harry began to take out all the things he'd brought for Ron and Hermione's children, putting them in the weekend bag he would take when he found the time to visit his friends. He was sure Hugo and Rose would love the French joke and novelty items he'd found. Hermione, on the other hand, was going to wish him to the devil once they'd shared them with their uncle George.

Filled with happy anticipation of finally seeing his dearest Severus again, he took a refreshing shower, shaving his entire body till he was smooth all over the way Severus liked, before going downstairs and starting on dinner.

To celebrate his return he made Severus' favorite dishes, setting the little table in the bright breakfast room with loving care. It was the room Severus' mother had liked best when she lived there. It was painted in light colors and seemed to catch the light, relaxing and inviting. Both Harry and Severus loved to take their meals their together and share the events of the day.

The night wore on and Harry began slowly but surely to worry. Severus was always home by this time! He sat there hour after hour by himself until he couldn't take it any more. Something must have happened; Sev always told him if he had to change their plans. The year before Severus had allowed his laboratory to be hooked up to the floo network, so that he could come quickly to the hospital if he was needed. Determined, he went back to the living room, grabbed some floo powder from the bowl on the fireplace and sent himself directly to Severus' laboratory in St. Mungo's. 

Harry arrived, a little out of breath, and met the shocked faces of two men. One was Severus, sitting at his desk, apparently in intense conversation with the other man, a stranger. He was smiling, but Harry quickly saw the smile was not for him.

The look he got from Severus was one he usually saved for people he didn't know. It wasn't as if he'd never come to Severus' lab unannounced like this before, but this time apparently it really bothered him.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Severus. I just wanted to ask how much longer you'd need?"

"As you can see, I'm having an important conversation. I can't tell you just when I'll be done. It will certainly be a while longer," came the answer from his love. He sounded so impatient, he might as well have been drumming his fingers on the table.

"Oh that's fine, Sev! I made us something to eat but it can wait until you get back home. I have a lot to tell you. Paris was great and I'm just going to..."

"Can't these trivialities wait until I"m finished here?" Severus' cold voice interrupted Harry.

"Of course. I'm sorry." Harry couldn't hide the tremor in his voice. Severus hadn't spoken to him in that distant tone since his school days.

Confused, Harry tried to summon his good manners and greet the strange man whom he had disliked the instant he saw him. The man was trouble, Harry could tell, but he forced himself to address him.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, Mister..."

Harry never got to finish his sentence before he was promptly interrupted.

"Harry, please. You're bothering us when we have something important to discuss. I told you I would be some time, so take me at my word and go home!"

Harry said nothing, just shot Severus a hurt look and left. He couldn't understand why Severus was treating him so coldly and calling him out as if he'd done something wrong. Sadly, he sat at the kitchen table and waited for his partner's return

 

He could still feel the other man's eyes on his back, the smug arrogant eyes of this person he didn't know and didn't want to know. Harry shook his head as he imagined what might have caused Severus' change of behavior. Nothing came to mind. Nothing had happened before he left for Paris. He had no idea why Severus was so distant now.

The hours went by and Harry sat and waited them away again. Everything he cooked sat, untouched under a stasis spell in the morning room and waited, too.

At 11 O'clock Harry gave up and got ready for bed. He wasn't hungry, anyway. Sleepless, he lay in bed and listened to the minutes tick by until, by midnight, when there was still no Severus, he had once more worked himself into a lather.

Back in Severus' office at St. Mungos all was still and dark. Only the moon lit the room, bathing it in a surreal glow. Harry glanced at Severus' desk where a discarded receipt had caught his eye. With a turn of his wand he cast a light and held the paper up to read it.

Ten O'clock... Slytherin Palace...Hastings

Harry couldn't imagine what all was going on here, but at least it explained Severus' absence. Slytherin Palace was a well known restaurant in Wizarding London, renowned for its excellent food.

Sighing, Harry went back home. He sat in the morning room looking sadly at all the dishes that he had prepared for nothing. He called out in frustration for the house elf who seemed to have been hiding somewhere the whole time.

"Kreacher!"

With a pop the elf appeared. He gave his master a limp bow, a scornful look on his face. Harry knew that Kreacher was snobbish and conceited, and that he couldn't stand Harry, feeling that a half blood hardly deserved his service. He only obeyed Harry because he had to and then only when his commands were irrefutably direct.

In a bored voice that made his feelings clear, he sneered,

"You called, Master Harry Potter? What command could you have at this hour?"

"I would like you to clear away the dishes in the breakfast room. Unfortunately we never got to dinner."

"As you wish, Master Harry Potter. As it happens, Kreacher won't be able to take care of it until the morning, as Kreacher is helping Master Snape right now."

And with another "Pop" the elf had disappeared again, without waiting to be dismissed.

"I'm really too easy on him," muttered Harry to himself, as he climbed the stairs to his bedroom. He was going to have to find out what was up with Severus later. Exhausted he threw himself on the soft down pillows and gave himself over to a restless sleep. 

There followed confusing dreams. Dreams of the strange man who kept holding him back from his love. The whole night he tossed from one side to the other, soaked with sweat and filled with the darkest feelings. He screamed and screamed, but his love was always too far away.

The look that Severus had given him burned in his heart. The cold that showed in his eyes, the distance that Harry couldn't span.

Usually, he was proud of his intuition, but this time it frightened him.


	2. Blood Boiling

Harry woke up when Severus came in, making a lot of noise. A glance at the window told him it was dawn already.

"Severus! Why are you getting in so late? I waited for you for hours."

"Go back to sleep. Everything's fine," muttered the potions master, as always easily annoyed. He slipped out of his clothes and crept under the blankets next to his boyfriend.

Harry smiled mischievously and pressed his cold feet under his lover's warm body until Severus started to shiver.

"What is your problem, Harry? Please stop it with your childishness. I'm tired and I want to sleep."

Severus turned away from Harry, making a show of closing his eyes and tucking the blankets under his chin.

Harry, who had expected a more tender welcome after three weeks' absence, lay back at first in consternation before deciding to take the initiative. He cuddled up against his lover, wrapping his arms around him and pressing his body into Severus' back. Whatever he'd done to annoy Severus, he wanted to make good again.

"I'll take care of that exhaustion for you, darling," he whispered, while he worked his hand under Severus' belly and began to caress his member with rhythmic strokes, up and down.

Can't this wait till morning, Harry? It's been a long day and I'm shot."

Harry withdrew his hand for a moment, stunned that Severus seemed not to be interested in sex.

"You just lie there all nice and relaxed and I'll take care of the rest," he purred in Severus' ear, gently pushing him onto his back, and popping his head under the covers. Harry was feeling more than usually eager, since he'd missed this with his lover more than anything. They always had regular sex and three weeks was the longest time that they'd been apart since they'd gotten together. He wasn't going to give up just like that.

Harry kissed, licked and massaged up and down Severus' body. He used every trick he'd ever learned to entice his lover's penis, even though Severus showed little or no response. Harry pumped his member with even strokes until he was sure he was good and hard.

It didn't usually take this long to get them ready to go but Harry could ignore that because after so little action in the last few weeks, he was more than ready to move on to the main event. Of course, he couldn't help but notice that however eager he might be, Severus was not working with him and hardly participated, but Harry was too worked up, had built up too much frustration over the long days to stop.

He prepared himself, unable to wait any longer for the pleasure of intercourse. It felt fantastic, even if it was just his own fingers, even though Severus still refused to help. He increased the sensation, rolling his balls and giving in to the need to stroke his cock. Moaning, he cast a nonverbal spell and summoned the lubricant to his hand, enjoying the familiar aroma as he spread a generous amount inside himself and on Severus' shaft. There! Harry lowered himself on his partner's hard cock and began to move up and down in a slow rhythm.

He still had to do most of the work, piercing himself over and over on his lover's iron cock while he stroked himself in time. He could feel the orgasm slowly rising inside him and wanted to bring Severus there, too. He went faster, trying to galvanize Severus but the only sign his partner gave that he was interested at all was the gasping of his breath.

Harry thought he deserved a standing ovation after a performance like that. Severus just lay there and made no tender gesture. He didn't kiss Harry anywhere, neither mouth nor neck. Harry was past all caring, however, after three painful weeks without sex. He could feel how close he was to coming.

Severus must have been close, too. He tore Harry off with a cry of "On your knees," pushing Harry under him with one fluid movement, his hand on his head as he entered him from behind. He set to like a wild thing, gasping and grunting. He forgot that Harry never liked this position, that it made him feel like no one, like an animal. Apparently, Severus didn't care at the moment, too busy with his own sensations to notice anyone else's.

It wasn't long before Harry felt Severus ejaculate inside him. Just two, three thrusts and his boyfriend's cock slid out of him, flaccid again, and Severus turned away and lay back down without a word. They had never ended an act of love so ...lovelessly.

Harry was left frustrated and confused. He didn't recognize this world where his partner could be so inconsiderate.

"Severus...what?..."

"Just be quiet," Severus interrupted before he could say another word. "I just want to sleep a few more hours."

"But I haven't come yet, Sev!" Harry didn't feel like it any more, really, but he thought he should make his dissatisfaction felt. He sat up and hugged his knees to his chest as if to protect himself from whatever words his partner would say next.

"I'm sure you can take care of the problem yourself. I did tell you from the start I was too tired to worry about your sexual needs."

Shaking his head, Harry saw that his partner's face remained expressionless, even as he spoke, closing his eyes and sinking deeper in the pillows.

The self satisfaction in Severus' voice woke an answering fury in Harry as his brain attempted to catch up with their meaning. It was unbelievable that he could be such a crude prat to just fall asleep before Harry even had a chance to register how awful his behavior was.

'"When you're finished with whatever it is you're doing," Severus continued, "I would appreciate it if you cast a cleansing spell over me. I feel quite sticky."

Harry couldn't hold back any longer. He clapped his teeth together with frustration.

"What is wrong with you? Why are you being such a dick to me, Sev? Have you lost all decency? Jesus, I'm not a blow up doll that you can just toss aside as soon as you've come!"  
Furious, Harry got of their bed. "I can't believe what you did today, sev. What an arrogant asshole you are. What is wrong with you? What have I done to you to deserve the way you've treated me?" Harry screamed, his rage mounting as the events of the last half hour replayed in his mind.

He stared at motionless man in the bed. A light snore was the only response to Harry's outburst. The potion master had simply fallen asleep while Harry was speaking.

With tears in his eyes, Harry pulled on his pajamas, gathered his covers and made his way downstairs to the guest room. 

Although he was tired, he couldn't sleep.

He was filled with an inexplicable fear that seemed to spread through his gut, a fear that he couldn't shake and that wanted to eat him up from the inside out. Of course in the past they'd had their share of quarrels and arguments, but nothing like this. What had happened while he was away?

He couldn't think of a good excuse for Severus' behavior and he didn't want to hear one, either. His anger soon turned to wallowing in self pity, and the reliving of his suffering kept him from sleep. Shortly before it was time to get up, he fell into a nightmare, which woke him again. He had always had an inner alarm clock that woke him at the right time no matter how little rest he'd gotten.

He looked around at the unfamiliar room, his heart pounding until he remembered the events of the night before. He still had no idea what to do.

He might as well take a shower; maybe it would help him clear his mind. A glance in the bedroom showed him that Severus was already up, probably in the kitchen, since the bathroom was also empty as Harry came in.

He undressed quickly and climbed under the warm water. It felt so good to relax in the warmth as he washed his hair and scrubbed himself clean. Harry felt refreshed and ready for action when he got out of the shower. He grabbed some clothes from the cupboard, checking himself out in the mirror. He smiled. It would do. With one last look behind him, he went to the kitchen to join Severus for breakfast.

They always had breakfast together, at least whenever they were both home they did. It was a ritual that they had both come to treasure. Today however, Harry found the kitchen and the breakfast room just as empty as the rest of the house. The only trace of his partner's existence was a half drunk cup of coffee left on the counter.

Harry had hardly finished walking through the room when Kreacher appeared, giving Harry his usual disapproving look. He was so used to it he hardly noticed it anymore. Anyway, it wasn't Kreacher's fault how the Black family had trained him.

"Kreacher, do you know where Severus went?" He asked, in the most neutral tone he could manage.

"Master Severus Snape, sir, has neglected to tell Kreacher where he planned to be. However I'm sure he would have said something if he intended Master Harry to know."

Harry was sure that Kreacher knew exactly where Severus was because he always told him whether he wanted breakfast and where to bring it.

Since Harry didn't feel like fighting with the churlish house elf, he left for work, reporting back to the ministry. Gwaine Robards, his supervisor looked astonished to see harry back at work already.

"Harry, what are you doing here?" You don't have to come back to work till next week."

"I'm not here so much to work as to share some news. You see before you a new examiner for the Auror training program. I passed the course with high marks in every subject!"

Harry waved his exam certificate under Robard's nose, enjoying his congratulations and the hearty thumps on his back at his good news. After the lack of interest in his success that Severus had shown the day before, it was a balm to his soul that at least his boss was pleased, offering him a position as testing expert right then and there.

"You won't have so many special assignments, you'll get home earlier and best of all,you can go back to Hogwarts every year to introduce the kids to the Defense Against the Dark Arts. Only the top experts in the field are allowed to do that. What do you say?"

Harry was stunned. He'd hoped to have a that job some day, which was why he'd gone to Paris for the training to begin with. But now that he'd heard it straight from Gwaine's mouth, he gave a whoop of joy and gave the man in front of him a big hug.

"Hey, watch the ribs there! As a newly minted professor, you'll have to mind your p's and q's Harry. You're going to be a respected member of society, don't you know."

Harry suppressed his laugh. He hadn't missed Gwaine's wink.

"Can I have a day to think it over and give you a definitive answer tomorrow? I'd like to talk it over with Severus to make sure he's OK with it."

"Of course, Harry. I can't think why Severus would mind, though. Really he'll get to see more of you now than he did before."

Harry stopped by his office, which he'd been sharing for the last two years with Theodore Nott, who was also an Auror but on another team. Nott worked in curse breaking, while Harry was going to work with the new recruits, bringing them up to snuff. At least, he would if he took the job that Head Auror Robards had offered him.

Up till now he'd worked in the department responsible for chasing the most dangerous criminals and rounding up the last of the death eaters. Unfortunately, there were still quite a few people who continued to serve Voldemort's ideas, even after his death.

The office door opened and Theodore Nott came in.

"Hi, Harry! Congratulations! Gwaine just told me the news...best of luck...Professor Potter!"

 

Theo gave Harry a friendly clap on the shoulder. "We have to go out to celebrate tonight. You, Ron and Hermione, Pansy and me. Then we can all toast to your new prospects."

"I don't know if Severus will be able to make it on such short notice, Theo. I only just got back from Paris and I don't know his plans for the week."

"Harry! Severus hasn't made it for our weekly piss up in months." Theo tried to convince his friend he had to spend the evening together with or without Severus. "I don't see why tonight should be any different."

"I'll at least ask him." Harry gave his answer. "Maybe tonight he'll have time for me."

Harry had no idea how far that was from the truth.


	3. Boiling Blood II

"Harry!" Severus sounded annoyed. "If you want to spend time with your friends, then do so. I will certainly not be joining you. I'm planning on meeting with Mr. Hastings again, actually."

"Again! But you two were up practically all night doing your thing." Harry wasn't exactly thrilled that Severus was going to spend yet another evening out with that man.

"We weren't doing 'our thing' as you so crudely phrase it. We were going over the details of the book that I'm thinking of publishing."

"You want to write a book? That's the first I've heard of it!"

"Indeed. You've been very self absorbed you know, for a long time now," Severus reproach was quiet, for now, his voice hardly rising. "You didn't like working at St. Mungo's. Good. I got that, even if I didn't really understand why. Then you needed to train to be an Auror for some reason. I couldn't find anyway to dissuade you that you were willing to understand. And since then I just hold my tongue when it comes to these matters."

"You're not a healer, anymore. You're not someone I can speak to about my patients or share my success stories with. My work doesn't have anything to do with you now. How is it relevant to you if I publish a book about ancient healing magic and long forgotten potions? You've chosen your way and I've chosen mine and that's all there is to it!"

Severus looked at Harry and his eyes were cold. "You made a decision to leave your career as a healer and now you need to live with the consequences as I have. After all, you did it to me too, it's an acknowledged fact that you...but there's no point spelling it out."

Harry felt hurt by Severus' accusations.  
"What's happening to us, Sev?" He tried to move closer to Severus to chase away the icy voice that was overturning everything between them . He looked his dear lover in the eyes, beseeching. "I don't understand the way you're acting now, Sev. Please!..." Harry's voice broke. He cleared his throat, and swallowed his tears before going on. "I mean, you never tell me anything about your life anymore. You don't care about me and how I'm doing at work...I don't know what to do. I have no idea what I did....please, just tell me and stop talking down to me like this. I can't take it anymore!"

"Oh please, Harry." Severus was indignant. "You don't have to be so dramatic every time someone says something you don't want to hear. I don't know why you want to question every one of my decisions all of a sudden, but it's intrusive and irritating in the extreme. It's hardly unheard of that I might want to invest in my professional future. You're not the only one who has the right to do that."

"But I don't think that at all," Harry tried to explain, but his partner continued as if he hadn't spoken.

"That's why I have no time to waste, boring myself with your friends. As far as I can tell nothing ever comes of these meetings but a lot of beer drinking and horsing around. Why should it be any different this time? "

"My friends wanted to celebrate my promotion. I'm sorry if that doesn't sound intellectually stimulating. But they're my friends and it's my promotion and that's why I want to go. Even if it's not good enough for you."

Harry looked up at his partner, deeply disappointed. "I'm sorry I even asked."

Severus could see that Harry was going to get ever more infuriated. He saw it coming, of course. He just didn't really care. That night he would be meeting with the man who made his heart beat faster in his chest. If Harry was kept busy with his friends, it was actually quite convenient for him. "Hey I'm talking to you!" Harry's words interrupted Severus' happy anticipation....I can't believe it. You're not even listening!"

Harry ran his fingers through his hair, tired now. "I don't know. Can't you just put your meeting off for another day and come out with me to celebrate my good news? For no reason, Just because I asked you to?"

Harry looked at Severus and this time, he was just asking. "Everyone else comes with their other half. I'm going to be the only one alone, the fifth wheel yet again."

"I've explained my position, Harry. You know why I've said no. I simply don't want to spend my time with your friends. The idea that I would cancel my appointment with Hastings just to hang around with these people...neglecting my career...It's incredibly inconsiderate of you."

"But.."

"I don't want to fight about this anymore, Harry. You go get drunk with your friends and I'll take care of things with Hastings so that my book can get done. Hastings is an intellectual, someone I can relate to in a way I will never relate to say, Ron Weasley."  
"Just because you don't share interests with my friends doesn't mean you don't belong with us."

Damn it, Harry! I don't have time for this shit. If you've come home just to fight, then I can go wait in my office until it's time for my meeting with Hastings. At least there I can have some peace!"

Severus stormed out of the library and fled straight to his office.

"Fine! Go to this Hastings guy, then, since he's so perfect." His words fell on silence. Severus was already gone.

Harry experienced the next few hours in a fog. He smiled a lot, toasted his success and answered all the questions that Hermione or Pansy asked. 

If anyone had told him in his school years that he would be sitting at a table with Pansy with a glass of Rosemerta's honey mead in his hand and that he would feel good about it, he would have laughed in their face. But. It was true. This feisty young woman exuded an air of warmth and vitality that drew everyone to her. Theodore already knew as much about his fellow slytherin; he'd asked for her hand in marriage as soon as they'd escaped school.

"Harry, what wrong?" Asked Pansy after a while, seeing that Harry was faking his good cheer.

"Severus and I had a really awful fight today; that's what's wrong," he snarled, more angrily than he had intended.

"I'm sorry about that. Can I help at all?"

She looked at Harry sympathetically, where he slumped in his seat. This latest fight with Severus obviously went a lot deeper than their previous arguments.

"I think you shouldn't get involved, honey. Harry and Severus have to figure out their own problems between the two of them," Pansy's husband interrupted, not wanting Harry to have to answer awkward questions. The man had the right to celebrate in peace and forget about whatever it was that was upsetting him.

Theo could see that it was unpleasant for Harry having to show up alone once again to meet his friends, especially tonight when it was his success they were celebrating. He had the feeling Harry didn't feel like venting about his relationship, though.

"Here, it's time you had a firewhiskey," he called to his friend. "That'll do you more good than that weak stuff you've got there that the ladies call alcohol."

"Oi!" Hermione pretended to take offense and gave Theo a little smack on the arm. "No knocking Madame Rosmerta's honey mead. It's good stuff."

Harry let loose a laugh. His friends could always get him to forget his worries over whatever. After a while, their antics even distracted him from his fight with Severus.

The celebration that was organized in just a few minutes lasted hour after hour, and by the time Harry tumbled back out of the fireplace at Spinner's end he was more than a little tipsy.

It was a bit of an effort to get to the second floor. Harry heaved himself up the stairs, trailing a bit of ash from the fire as he went that Kreacher would no doubt complain about having to clean in the morning. Several times he misjudged a step, landing on his backside and giggling like a little boy.

Holding his hands in front of his mouth so that he wouldn't make a sound and wake Severus, Harry traipsed into the bathroom, the occasional snort of laughter escaping his hands. He gave himself a quick going over at the sink, shucked off his clothes and threw himself in bed.

In his fuzzy headed state, he didn't notice that he was alone in the bed und cuddled up to Severus' pillow with a sigh.

"I love you, Sev," he mumbled. A second later, he had rolled over, stretched out his arms and legs like a starfish and fallen asleep.

****************

Severus meanwhile was having a considerably better time of it. He lay in bed next to the man he loved, completely satisfied, recovering from the incendiary orgasm that had left them both happy but exhausted.

"I should really be getting home, Terrence. It's getting light."

"When are we going to stop hiding like this, Severus?" I'm tired of always getting shoved aside. I feel awful whenever you have to go back to your superhero. I feel like a fake. If you're just here to satisfy your rampant libido then you need to find someone else."

Severus ran his right hand tenderly over his lover's soft belly, weaving the touch into the sensation of the deep kiss that he gave him at the same time.

"Harry is hardly a superhero," he said as they moved apart. He looked Terrence in the eyes. "But he has been my partner for many years now. Give me a little time to tell him the truth. It's not that simple."

"I know that, Severus. But I have feelings too. All this running around isn't good for me. So, please....don't wait too long," Terrence Hastings threatened the potion's master. "Otherwise I might not want this anymore."

Severus leaned over his lover and kissed him another time, stroking the silken skin.

"I'll tell Harry as soon as possible. I don't want to hide anymore, either. I want you all the time and not just whenever we can steal a moment together."

"I would love to see that happen, Severus. Then we can finally be together and see each other every day."

Terrence Hastings leaned forward to give Severus a last tender kiss. There was a quality to his kisses, so devoted, so sweet, that made his heart sing. This man gave him butterflies in his stomach.

Fired up with so much to look forward to, Severus finally stood up and buttoned up his trousers and shirt. He pulled his robe over his clothes and put his warm boots on and then apparated home. Today he would finally clear the air.

The trail of ash caught his eye right away. Giving it a disapproving look as he stepped elegantly out of the fireplace, he cast a weak lumos to confirm that Harry had indeed made his smeary way all the way to their bedroom.

He needed a little moment to prepare himself.

A year ago what he saw when he came into the room would have made him grin indulgently. Now all he could feel was disgust. How could Harry carry on like this?

Severus couldn't understand how a grown man could get so drunk that he had couldn't even arrange himself properly in bed. It was embarrassing! He forgot that it was exactly this kind of thing that he had once loved about Harry. The lack of self consciousness, the happy abandon, his easy way about sex. All the things that Severus had never known before his relationship with Harry.

Back then his sexual history had consisted of nothing but quick exchanges in one dark corner of the dungeons or the other. His last affair before Harry was Sirius Black, Harry's Godfather. As much as they had hated each other back at school, the sex between them was some of the best he'd ever had. They had even met once, right after he'd started dating Harry, even as he was hoping to take their relationship to the next level.

Although Severus already knew he loved Harry then, he was possessed by the need to screw Black. Black hadn't wanted to, though, once he found out that Harry was involved. He made Severus swear never to tell Harry about their affair. 

The boy mustn't look on his Godfather with horror. Oh no.

Sirius liquidated his assets and left London to try his luck outside the country. He'd ended up in Canada, where he fell in love with a muggle and no longer saw any reason to come back to London. Harry visited him every other year, but Severus had never accompanied him on those visits.

As hung up on Black as he had been, sexually speaking, Severus had never had a long term relationship before Harry came into his life. Harry's moving in to Spinner's End was the crowning jewel of their relationship, something he had been for a long time been very proud of.

And at first their lives together had worked very well indeed. Harry embodied everything that Severus had ever hoped for and everything he needed. Harry was strong, loving and true, and above all, always there for Severus. He never rejected Severus and he was always up for something new, whether in bed or anywhere else.

Right up until the moment he began his Auror training. For Severus a complete catastrophe. Once he could no longer trade information with Harry about patient profiles and goings on at the hospital, he realized they didn't actually have anything else in common.

Everything that was important to Harry in his new life struck him as senseless and ultimately dangerous. Ludicrous, he often added, when he talked about what Harry did.

After that, there were always grudges and petty jealousies between them. Severus didn't want to talk over his work with Harry anymore; he couldn't keep up with the escapades and deeds of daring-do, could he? What was the discovery of a rare type of blood, used in a once forgotten potion compared to the breathtaking adventures of a man who captured death eaters for a living? Severus felt alienated from Harry's life and unable to admit his own feelings.

That was how he came to be receptive to Terrence Hastings, who seemed to embody all the things Severus longed for, or at least seemed something like what Severus imagined when he thought of a perfect relationship. 

It didn't help that in his zeal Harry deliberately ignored the fact that Severus would know some of the men and women he arrested and feel a quiet sympathy as they were condemned to live out their lives in Azkaban.

He was oh so keen to arrest these bad people and bring them to their rightful punishment. He was good at it, very good even, which explained his rapid rise in the ranks. But Severus knew better.

Not all of the death eaters were bad people. He tried over and over to explain this to Harry, but he seemed to only be interested in how to eliminate them all as quickly as possible. Who was to be arrested and how didn't matter to him at all. The important thing was that there were fewer of them on the ground, making England a safer place. The story behind an individual death eater, his or her history or fate didn't count.

With a deep sigh, Severus broke free of these thoughts. He looked down at the naked man on the bed. He couldn't stand the sight of him. He turned on his heel and left their bedroom.

In the kitchen he sat down at called for Kreacher, who came at once to fulfill his master's wishes.

"Master Snape have a desire?" What can Kreacher do for Master Snape, Sir?"

"Please prepare me a light breakfast. I'm hungry and I can't sleep any more." That he hadn't spent the night at home wasn't something the elf needed to know right now.

As a matter of fact, Kreacher was no dummy and knew perfectly well that his master was carrying on an affair. He had noted a certain scent on Master Snape's clothing...a strange man's scent, herby and sensual. Kreacher had a very good nose, despite his advanced age. On top of that there was all the fighting and the general mood in the house; all signs pointed to the fact that Severus had been looking around and found another man.

For Kreacher this was no grounds for sorrow. He liked Master Snape and so he was silent as the grave, even if it didn't serve his real master.

Severus ate his breakfast as soon as it was served and then flooed directly to work. Once there, he upbraided himself for his cowardice and informed Kreacher that he would be bringing a guest home for dinner.

Kreacher promised to set an extra place and prepare a meal fit for a king to welcome his new master. It really was time to come clean with Harry, Severus thought, if even Kreacher had figured out what Severus was planning.

The hours flew by. Severus met Terrence in one of their favorite restaurants. It felt wonderful. Severus always felt so alive whenTerrence Hastings around. They flirted and bantered, as they ate lox sliced to a perfect thinness on beds of lettuce, a specialty of the house, and drank a nicely paired elven wine.

"I'd like to invite you to dinner at my house. I think I would find it easier to tell Harry the truth if he could see you in our house for a few hours first. Maybe he'll note the difference, see why I chose you."

"I don't know if I like the idea of being there just so you can point me out as the reason for your break up, but you know your lover better than me."

"Harry is not my lover; you are. I haven't slept with Harry since before he left for Paris."

Severus didn't mention that he had let Harry seduce him. It had been a small lapse. He wanted Terrence, not Harry. Every minute that he spent in this man's company he felt a tingling in his belly that was missing whenever he saw his boyfriend.

His kisses, his gentle touch, the tapered fingers...simply everything about this man enflamed Severus to the point where he went about his day mostly half hard. Severus had lost track of how many times he'd had to take care of this problem himself, when he'd been thinking about this man. He was glad that wizards wore robes, so that his embarrassment wasn't obvious. His arousal wasn't anyone else's business.

Terrence leaned forward and kissed his lover good bye. While their tongues traced their loving patterns, Severus softly stroked Terrence under his shirt until finally he tore himself away and went back to work.

Severus stood firmly by his decision. After tonight he and Harry would be through. He would tell Harry that he had to leave Spinner's End. With a quick look back to make sure he hadn't left anything on the table, he went back to St. Mungo's where he would wait for the hours to go by. Today he could not concentrate on his work.

He didn't notice the flash of a camera. It was the last of a whole series of photos of the two of them together that, along with a quickquotes quill disappeared into the pocket of a certain nosy reporter. Rita Skeeter stood there were a wicked grin on her face, glad that she had gotten the scoop on this tragedy for the delectation of her readers.

She hurried to the editor's desk at the Daily Prophet, making sure to get her article out in time for the next edition. This was going to be the scandal of the season


	4. The Fire Goes Out I

Harry awoke with a pounding head, in exactly the same position that he'd fallen asleep. He was miserably cold, which wasn't surprising, given that he was stark naked. He decided he didn't care about that as nausea hit him like a sledge hammer.

He shot out of bed, groaning and trembling, only just making it to the bathroom in time to vomit spectacularly in the toilet.

Resting his head on the toilet seat, he waited for the world to stop spinning. Once the worst of the waves of nausea had subsided, he struggled to his feet and tiptoed carefully to the medicine cabinet where he downed a hangover potion in one gulp, ignoring the vile taste.

The effect was immediate and he finally felt ready to take his life by the reigns again. After a quick shower, he went right to the kitchen, with his hair still wet.

"Good morning, Kreacher," he said in a nice,friendly tone. "Just a cup of coffee," he added, as the Elf seemed to be making eggs. "Is Severus awake yet?"

"Master Snape has been gone for hours, Master Potter, Sir. Master Snape is after all very successful, yes, and he can't just lie in bed all morning."

"Alright, Kreacher. I was just asking." Harry sipped his coffee slowly while he thought over what had happened the day before, and then quickly got ready to go to the Ministery to give the answer he'd promised.

Since Severus didn't seem to care about his promotion at all, Harry decided to take the job. He was the one who had show up and actually do the work, after all. As Severus himself had said, they both had their work lives. It barely affected one's partner, what one did. And Harry was sick and tired of the whole topic after yesterday's disaster of a conversation.

Head Auror Robards was naturally very glad to hear of Harry's decision. 

"It's amazing how quickly you're climbing the ladder here. In a few more years I'll be able to put you in for my successor!"

"Not just yet, Gwaine. You'll keep your post till you retire, I'm sure. You're fit, you didn't get wounded in the last war. Why should you stop?"

"You're forgetting my wife, Harry. She has something to say about where my career is going."

Harry gave his boss a side long glance. Was it his imagination or had he said something very different on the same topic the day before? Or maybe he was just oversensitive today about anything to do with people's love lives.

"I'm sure she wouldn't want to stand in your way," he said, tactfully. "But if one day you really are ready to consider retirement, of course I'd be thrilled to be considered for your successor. I really enjoy what we do here, even if Severus doesn't think it's worth much." He shrugged one shoulder, a little embarrassed.

"He doesn't understand why I left the healing arts to become an Auror. He just can't comprehend that that it was the suffering I saw at the hospital that I couldn't take, that I can't stand letting death get that close to me. I already feel responsible for Fred, Tonks, Remus and all the others we lost. I can't lose anyone else!"

"...Harry, that's not true. None of those deaths was your fault. It was war and in a war people die. That's just facts. What happened then...You did your best."

"I know that, Gwaine! At least now I do. But I just don't recover from trauma the way I used to. Whenever a child dies in my arms, a part of me dies, too. That's really why I made the switch. Sev never accepted that for a reason, or should I say he never chose to see I had any trauma. That way he could go on thinking everything was fine. Or maybe he really didn't care..."

Harry stopped himself, too frustrated to go on. He yanked his hands through his hair, making it stand up on end till it looked even madder than usual.

Robards stared at Harry, astonished. This was the first he'd heard of this side of Severus. "I'm sure you're just imagining things. Severus would never be so negligent. He's always paid attention to what was going on with you, even when you were his student. I can remember what a fuss he always kicked up whenever the order didn't react fast enough and put you in danger... Believe me Harry, Severus has always cared about you and he could never stop caring."

"Then he's really doing a great job of faking it." Harry's sadness crept into his voice. "As cold as he has been lately, I don't think what you just said can be true anymore."

Harry looked his boss in the eyes. "Don't get me wrong. I love that man more than my life. But right now it's all I can do not to bash his brains in."

Gwaine gave him an encouraging clap on the shoulder.

"It'll take care of itself, you'll see," he said, "and until it has, you can start in on writing some reports. If you want to work your frustrations away, don't let me stop you. Showing up at the job twice in two days when you're supposed to be on vacation doesn't make any sense. If you miss work so much, you might as well make yourself useful." He pointed Harry to the office he shared with Theo. "Theo has a lot of reports he has to finish. Maybe you can give him a little backup."

Feeling better than he had all day, Harry went into the office and was met by the grim face of his friend.

"Never again, Harry! Do you understand me? I will never drink again."

"I don't know what your problem is, Theodore. Why don't you just take a hangover potion? Anyway, all you had was a few firewhiskeys."

"Haha. Very funny!" Theo tried to keep his outraged expression and failed. "Why do you look so happy? You drank more than me and now you're fine?"

"You forget who I sleep with. Severus is a master in his field. His potions are a thousand times better than anything you'll get at the chemist's."

"I still don't get it," muttered Theo, whose headache reminded him every time he moved that he had gotten up far too early that morning.

"Oh well, when it comes right down to it, you just can't hold your liquor like the rest of us," Harry teased, trying to keep a straight face. "I mean all you had was a couple of..."

"A couple of bottles, you arse!...not those couple of glasses you keep mentioning!"

They joked around a little longer, Harry taking the piss and quietly helping at the same time, until they'd cleared most of the wretched file folders off of Theo's desk. That Harry gave him a couple sips from the hangover potion he'd snuck in under his robes didn't hurt the mood.

They worked in quiet harmony until the internal alarm went off and then had to leave everything where it was and attend to a different duty.

Quickly, they slipped on their official uniforms and reported together to the briefing room. It turned out all units were being called to answer an emergency call; a Death Eater attack was underway and the dark hexes were already flying.

The Death Eaters had been found hiding out in a mansion in Wiltshire in the southwest of of England. There had already been several wounded and the Auror Corps were asking for reinforcements.

Harry found his unit, quickly wishing Theo well on his mission. Theo's group would be searching out any dark artifacts that might be hidden in the manor house in order to confiscate or destroy them. Of course, that would be after they'd rounded up every one who escaped, while Harry and his troops took care of the Death Eaters, arresting any who remained.

 

***************

They didn't return to the central command for many hours, long hours in which the Death Eaters refused to give up. The mission was a success in the end, but at a cost. Harry received a fairly serious injury.

In the initial rush of victory, he'd ignored the pain and hardly noticed his wound. They had enough to do questioning the prisoners, bringing them to the dungeons where they would await a quick trial by the Wizzengamut before being sent to Azkaban.

Among the things they'd accomplished that day, was the arrest of Draco Malfoy, one of the most sought after criminals in England. It was an astounding success, considering how long the slippery man had avoided persecution. He'd been on the run since the end of the war. For the ministry, his arrest was very good news indeed. Lucius Malfoy, Draco's father had already been caught the year before, which meant that of the three members of the Malfoy family, long known to be the central command for the Death Eaters, only Draco's mother, Narcissa, remained at large.

On the day of the last battle, it was her act of mercy that let Harry live. It was only thanks to her silence that he was even in able to go on, otherwise he would never have been able to last out the rounds of Crucio that Voldemort had unleashed on him. She'd claimed he was already dead, and so he'd survived. 

At the time of her hearing he had returned the favor, testifying that it was only thanks to her that he'd been able to destroy the darkest wizard of all time. Of course he knew even then that she had only been looking to protect her own son...and yet, without her the war would have come to a different end that day.

On the basis of his testimony she'd been granted a reprieve, three years of community service in an orphanage, which she did willingly and with apparent pleasure. She was always seen to be smiling during those years.

At her hearing she'd claimed that she didn't know where her husband and son could be found. She hadn't known anything of the Death Eater activities that her family was involved in. After an intense round of questioning the Wizard gamut all agreed. And above all the fact that there was no tattoo on her arm exonerated her. Narcissa Malfoy was no true Death Eater.

Then, on her last day at the orphanage, when she had served her time, she disappeared without a trace. No one saw hide nor hair of her in the following years. But shortly thereafter the surviving Death Eaters began their war on the magical world again.

Several attempts had been made to assassinate the Minister of Magic and the ministry itself was attacked, though without success. The rebells even carried out their plans in Azkaban.

Lucius Malfoy showed no reaction apart from a gloating smile when he heard tell at one of the little chess games they organized for the inmates that the Death Eaters had almost taken the prison.

Whoever was behind the attacks certainly knew something about the strategy of war.

At the time, no one had associated these events with Narcissa's disappearance. It was only last year, when Lucius Malfoy was taken in a raid in London and questioned under veratiserum, that her involvement came to light.

It was all much worse than they had assumed.

The good woman, it seemed, was the head of a new organization, and with her spy network she held many strings in her hand which she coordinated to harass the ministry. 

That they had managed to arrest Draco Malfoy was a giant step in the right direction. Perhaps with the help of his testimony the era of the Death Eaters would finally come to an end.

After so many years it was about time to finish off the reign of the Malfoy family.

However, Harry was under no illusions. There would always be idiots and imitators. Those who didn't know decency, who had been indifferent to Voldemort's cruelty and only motivated by a lust for money or fame, would always be waiting in the wings to rise to power again. So it was and so it would always be.

Nor would it be easy to capture a woman of Narcissa's caliber. Harry was certain she would be agitating for some time to come. There had also been something about Draco's insincere smile that promised a less than peaceful arrest, as well. Something was going on; the only question was: who, when and why...

Gwaine Robards praised their unit in the debriefing and then, when the room had cleared, hurried over to Harry who seemed to be moving more slowly than usual. Gwaine had noted the strained look on Harry's face and now his bent posture left no doubt about what had happened.

"Auror Potter, if you are injured you need to report to St. Mungo's immediately," he said in a harsh tone that hid his concern. "You know that's procedure."

"It's not as bad as it looks, Head Auror Robards. As soon as I get home, I'll take a blood replenishing potion and let Professor Snape see to my wounds. It's not life threatening, sir, just deep."

Gwaine knew that Harry would be in good hands with Severus and allowed the exception. In any case, Severus worked at the hospital and it was practically the same care.

So it came to be that after a long and difficult day at work, Harry arrived home, tired, dirty and bleeding and looking forward to being healed by his lover and a nice hot bath. His flooing went even worse than usual and he almost shot out of the chimney with his hand held over his wound to prevent it banging on the mantel piece.

Groaning, he struggled to his feet, only to see Severus and Terence standing in front of him with their mouths gaping open. Harry really was a gruesome sight. If he could have seen himself in the mirror in that moment, he wouldn't have been surprised at their twin looks of horror.

"Sorry I'm so late, Sev. It was a long operation." With a false calm, he looked at he man whose face he would have happily rearranged if he didn't hurt so much. "Pardon me that I can't shake your hand, but as you can see I'm not presentable at the moment." Granted it was a somewhat silly thing to say, but it was the only way he could manage to hold himself back from saying worse. Then Severus started in with his icy commentary.

"I can't believe it. My God, would you go shower? You certainly can't come to the table like this, especially not when we have a guest."

"I didn't mean to, Sev, but I didn't expect a guest as you didn't bother to mention it to me." Harry's voice was just as cold, now.

 

As soon as he could do it safely, without losing control he left the living room, giving a little nod in Hasting's direction as he went. At the door, he turned one more time before disappearing in the direction of the stairs.

"Perhaps you would be so kind as to introduce yourself officially sometime during dinner, Mr. Hastings. After all, this is now the second time that I find you meeting with my partner." Harry didn't wait for Hastings' reply, although he could hear Severus huff of disgust at his cheek from down the hall. He preferred not to react to Severus, however. 

His mind was closing down. His movements erratic...


	5. The Fire Goes Out II

The second they were alone, the two men fell into a passionate kiss.

"I'm so sorry you had to listen to Harry talk to you like that. Ever since he got to be a big shot Auror his vocabulary has declined abysmally." Severus tried to soften the impact of Harry's sarcastic words; he'd seen that they bothered Terrence.

The way that Harry was behaving today made it a lot easier for Severus to leave him. There really was nothing between them anymore. He intensified the kiss, taking in the taste of the man who had given him so many passionate moments and with whom he hoped to build a future.

He smelled like pipe tobacco with a lingering essence of Vanilla to it, mixed with the distinct scent of his aftershave...Bergamont and Cedar...Severus had to hold himself back from licking the length of his lover's neck just to take him in through all of his senses. "Merlin, Terrence," whispered Severus in his ear. "Right now I want to push you over and explore your whole body with my mouth..."

"Not here, Severus!" He was pushed decidedly away, which wasn't like Terrence. "Not while your current boyfriend is taking a shower out there with no idea what's going on. Make him disappear and I'll be happy to have you all over me, but not a minute sooner."

Severus could see that it was a little too much to expect Terrence to feel at home just yet. After all, Harry was still in the house.

"I'll talk to him before the day is out. And in the morning you can move in. I'll make sure that Harry and all his things disappear as quickly as possible." He gave Terrence a loving look. "In the meantime, why don't think you about how the living room is arranged? If you like it, we can leave it the way it is. If you don't, we can replace everything."

 

"It was Harry who chose the furniture in here. I don't care for it one way or the other. In the rest of the house, except for the bedroom, of course, I'd prefer to leave it as is, if you don't mind; the house has memories for me."

Terrence looked over the furniture in the living room and the color of the paint on the walls. Harry had gone for a classic look, with solid wood pieces that contrasted with the color of the paint, some kind of white that kept the room from seeming dark. Delicate shades of green here and there brightened the setting and there were pillows in different textures so that the eye would not get bored.

"It will do for now. We can always see to it after your book has come out. Believe me, until then we won't have time to fuss over decor."

The sound of a door closing upstairs ended this discussion of their future. The two older men quickly drew apart, waiting in stoic silence for the younger one to come in. They appeared perfectly still, except for the hands that reached for each other now and then, gently brushing and provoking in them both shudders of pleasure.

They could hardly wait to fall on each other in every corner of this house where they would be together from now on.

To Harry's amazement, no one paid any attention to him as he joined Severus and his friend before dinner. No one offered him an aperitif or involved him in the conversation. He felt like an intruder in his own home.

The two other men didn't seem to care if he was there or not. They were deeply involved in their own discussion, never once allowing Harry to break in. Harry cursed himself now that he hadn't gone to lie down. The blood loss was weakening him more than he had thought at first.

He had hoped to ameliorate the pain with a potion, but to his dismay there weren't any already prepared in the bathroom. Neither a blood replenishing nor a pain reducing potion could be found in the medicine cabinet. Harry had experienced that as its own slight. Severus had always made sure that the potions he needed for his work were always waiting in the bathroom. That had been important to Severus.

Apparently this too had changed, as Harry realized now to his regret.

Although Harry knew better to leave a serious curse wound untreated, he decided to wait until they were alone before he asked Severus for help. He didn't want to interrupt what looked like an important dinner more than he already had and he decided to wait it out and tolerate the pain for now. He could bind the wound himself in the meantime.

Pouring his own glass of elf wine, he sipped and observed the two men in front of him. It was remarkable how well they seemed to understand each other, how lovingly, even tenderly they behaved together.

When Kreacher called them to table, they moved to the dining room where they were served an absolutely delicious meal, at which it was nonetheless the case that Harry always got the tiniest cut of meat and the least fraction of Kreacher's solicitude. Once again, he even had to pour his own drink. It was very difficult for Harry not to shove the elf in the cupboard. This was an affront he couldn't ignore. Kreacher was supposed to be his elf, damn it all.

It was Harry who had taken Kreacher with him from Grimmauld place. He really couldn't countenance this disrespect any longer.

His anger with Kreacher redoubled as anger at Severus and Hastings the longer he observed them. It escalated as he listened to the hateful comments that Severus made about his work as an Auror, deprecating the corps and stroking that idiot's hand while he did it.

It was enough. This was the point at which Harry's self respect rebelled. He couldn't let this go.

Tears of rage stood in his eyes as he leapt to his feet...and then he had to grab the table for a moment to stop himself from collapsing. So much for his dramatic exit. 'The room spun around him and diverted his attack. Instead he heard himself say in weak and quiet voice.

"Please excuse me, Mr. Hastings, but I don't feel well. I'm afraid I will have to withdraw." Disheartened, defeated and bewildered, he looked at the love of his life and saw that he seemed almost triumphant. He found in Severus' eyes the answer he had been trying to deny for a long time. It was over. Their love was gone. Still he asked, "Can we talk later? Alone?" 

Severus couldn't quite suppress his little smile as he looked at Harry's pale face. Finally, this was at an end. Finally Harry had come to understand. His former lover's eyes were dull and lifeless. Severus felt a slight pang looking into those green eyes, once so beautifully alive, but he quickly suppressed the feeling and was looking at Hastings as he gave his reply.

"Of course, as soon as Terrence has left us I will be at your service." The words Severus spoke were bittersweet and sure of their effect, as Severus used them to destroy Harry's life with a little smile on his face.

Harry was suddenly overcome with a wave of nausea. As soon as he could, he ran out of the room, and threw up just as he reached the toilet bowl, shivering and sobbing by turns as his heart recognized what his mind had long known to be true.

************

Once again Harry awoke with a pounding headache. His eyes were burning and his side was on fire. A glance at the clock told him that almost two hours had passed since he fled the dining room. Slowly, to keep the nausea under control, he sat up and then groaned as he pressed his hand to his wound. The binding had worked loose and blood was oozing out between the layers of gauze.

Harry dragged himself into the bathroom and wrapped the bandage once more. He needed to find a healer as soon as possible; already there were dark lines of infection spreading out from the center of the wound. Severus he wouldn't let near him, though. Not after everything that had happened today.

After he'd dressed in a fresh shirt and jeans, Harry went downstairs. He was quiet; he didn't want to see Hastings and he hoped the man would be gone already. Slowly he opened the door to the library and peeked inside.

Severus was there, sat in front of the fireplace, staring into the flames, apparently lost in thought. Alone. Hastings must have already absented himself.

Severus didn't move as Harry entered the room. Only the tension of his shoulder muscles and the slight stiffening of his posture showed that he had noticed Harry's presence.

"How long has this been going on between the two of you?" Whispered Harry in a husky voice. He couldn't stand the suspense any longer. His heart was bursting in his chest. 

After a while, came Severus' voice with its fervent answer.

"Does it matter anymore? It's done. I can't change it...I don't want to change it."

The certainty of his words cut straight to Harry's heart.

"And what will happen with us, you and me...with the house?" Harry had to work to keep the tremor from his voice. 

He sat there, feeling how there was no blood in his cheeks and looked in the distinctive face of the man he loved, who had been a part of his life for so many years. Harry felt like he had to scream but no sound came out. He couldn't do this. His mind was swept clean.

"You know what happens next, Harry." He heard Severus' voice saying, ice again. "Do you really expect me to spell it out?"

Severus looked at the young man with cold eyes. In this moment he felt no sympathy, only vexation that Harry had to be so slow on the uptake that he hadn't already run screaming bloody murder from the house. Any other man would have left in a fit of rage by now. But not Harry. No! He just sat there and wanted to talk the whole thing over.

"Severus, I..."

"No, Harry. It's over. Accept it. I've fallen in love with Terrence and I want to be with him." Severus looked in Harry's direction, his hands balled in fists. "I want you to pack up your things and get out of here. Since this is my house, it is only reasonable that you be the one to go!"

"But I still love you!" Harry gave a little sob. "Don't my feelings count for anything in this at all?" One lone tear stole over his cheek as he spoke this last.

"Not for me, no," came the brutal but finally honest answer on Severus' part. He had no more interest in the conversation. "Please spare us your maudlin carrying on and just get out of my life. I can't stand having you here any longer....". And, after a small pause in which he considered whether or not he wanted to say the words out loud, "I haven't loved you for a long time, now. My heart belongs to Terrence."

Harry brought his eyes to close and steeled himself for the next step. Slowly he stood up and looked Severus deep in the eyes.

"Do I have to take my things with me now or would it be enough if I take care of it tomorrow?" He spoke in a monotone as he looked one last time in the face of the person for whom he had felt such great love.

"Severus took a large swallow of the whiskey he held in his hands before he answered in a tired voice.

"Tomorrow will do. I would appreciate it if you could remove your things as soon as possible from Spinner's End. Terrence would like to move in tomorrow and we will have to repaint the walls and see to the furniture in the living room and, of course, the bedroom has to redone. Terrence won't want to be reminded of you every time we make love, will he?"

Severus exaggerated on purpose, as he wanted to avoid any further discussion. If he hurt Harry enough, it would ensure that he left without trying on any more drama.

His plan seemed to work and he heard Harry leave the library and slowly climb the stairs to the second floor in silence.

Harry felt he must be in shock as he pulled a small bag down from the cupboard, packing only the necessities, what he would need for over night. As he made his exhausted way back down the stairs, he found Severus and Kreacher, arguing.

"Master Snape is needing me. Master Severus may not send Kreacher away. What will Masters Snape and Hastings do without Kreacher?"

"Kreacher, I don't want to send you away, but you belong to Harry. I'm not your master. Your master is Harry Potter."

Harry flinched from pain; he was clenching in anger and it made his wound flare. He pressed his hand to his side, which Severus noticed with a frown.

Despite the force of habit, he refused to come to the aid of his soon to be ex. It was as if something held him back from wondering why Harry was holding his side.

Harry felt sick, and was no longer able to think clearly. He had simply had enough and he found himself screaming at Kreacher, who could only stare back in fear. The elf's eyes were filled with a servile, cringing attitude that Harry had never seen before. But Harry didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore. He had to get out of here. He couldn't breathe in this house.

"Kreacher!" He thundered in the loudest voice he could manage. "As your owner and the representative of the Black family, I release you from all obligations you have to the House of Black."

Harry made a show of opening his bag, taking out the first thing that came to hand and threw a shirt in the elf's face. "With this shirt, I give you your freedom. You are from this moment on a free elf!"

"You can't do this, Harry" Severus called out with horror. "You'll kill him. He is far too old to make it as a free elf."

"Then I wish you joy of him, Severus, you and Hastings....if you take him into your household. I'm done with you both. I'm done with you all!"

Harry could no longer suppress the bitterness in his voice. With a brutality which he'd never shown before, he shoved the shivering and snuffling elf away from him and headed for the door.

Swaying in place, he held tight to the doorknob and turned to Severus, and gave him one last look from his green eyes, so intense it made Severus shiver.

"I wish you both exactly the luck you have earned!" He spat with scorn, before at last he let the door close behind him and he left Spinner's End.

His body was shaking with his desperate sobs as he lurched through the streets until he found a public house whose owners he knew to be wizards. He walked in and, with the last of his strength, reserved a room where he blacked out the moment his head hit the pillow, nightmares chasing through his sleep


	6. Bleeding Heart

"Shh....Ron, could you quiet down? I think he's coming to." Harry recognized the murmuring voices of his two best friends. Prying his sticky eyelids apart, he found he was looking at Hermione's anxious face and that they were in a sterile hospital room.

Without his glasses everything was a blur, but that didn't matter. The important thing was to find out what on earth had happened. He had no memory of being brought to this place and he eyed his friends skeptically as he tried to get himself sitting up.

"Hermione! Ron! What the hell...why am I in this bed?" He croaked. "How did I get to Mungo's?" Harry took a much needed sip from the glass of water that Hermione held to his lips.

"The publican at the Widder pub where you spent the night called the healers this morning when you didn't respond to his knocking. He found you lying unconscious in bed, covered in blood. The healers had you brought to Mungo's right away, " Ron said, trying to sum the situation up in as few words as possible.

"What were you doing there, Harry?" Ron prodded.

Harry shrugged his shoulders, not knowing how to explain the whole thing to his friends. 

"It's a long story," he began, only to be interrupted by Hermione, who obviously wasn't going to let him off that easy.

"Harry James Potter," she jumped in, "What were you thinking risking yourself like that? Leaving a curse wound untreated! You know exactly what the serious consequences of that can be. As a former healer there's no way you didn't know!"

She looked at him reproachfully and whispered, "The Healers think you'll have permanent damage." And without giving Harry the chance to elaborate, she railed on in her usual tone of voice. "And you just lie there and shrug your shoulders and expect that to explain everything." Hermione's voice rose to screech as she vented her fears for her friend. "But you're not going to get away with it this time. You're going to talk to us and you're going to keep talking until we know exactly how you came to throw your health to the wind." Shaking with worry and frustration, she indicated the wound, as she made her point.

Harry regarded the wound with indifference; it just sat there, thickly bandaged; it was hard to miss. Thanks to the medications he'd been given, his whole body felt light and weightless. He felt no trace of pain, only sorrow as he was overtaken by his memories of the day before.

"It doesn't matter why. Who cares? From now on my life is as good as over. What's the point of anything..."The last words he left off as Ron interrupted his recitation of self pity.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Ron cried out, shocked at what he'd heard, "Have you lost your mind? It doesn't matter what happened, my arse. You're going to cut all this crap about death and what not. You're alive and we're alive and together we can figure this out. Are you listening? Whatever it is that's got you this down, me and Hermione and all of us who care about you are here for you...forever. Got it?"

While Ron was shouting down the roof, he was also making his way to the bed and holding his friend to his chest, as close as he dared without pressing on the wound. His voice shook as he took Harry in his arms and offered the succor that he needed so badly. "Stop saying all that stupid shite, Mate, or I'll have to kill you myself."

At this Harry began to cry openly, burying his face in the broad shoulder of his best friend. Ron held him close until he got to the point where he could pull himself together and begin to explain things.

"Severus and I..." he began in a strained voice, "we broke up yesterday!"

All it took was a few words to describe the whole shattering of his relationship. Ron didn't seem much surprised, either, more like furious. Harry saw him exchange a worried glance with his girlfriend, and nod. Then he reached into the pocket of his robe and pulled out that day's edition of the Daily Prophet.

"If you promise me not to get all upset I can read you this article. If I see that you can't take it, however, I'm going to take it away again. I wouldn't show you at all, but I think you have the right to know what it says."

Harry didn't have to look for long. Severus and Hastings were front page news. Caught, holding hands in a restaurant in Winkel Alley. The glance the two were sharing couldn't have been more obvious, what with the tender way they were mooning at each other, apparently lost to their surroundings. The only thing missing was a snapshot of the second their lips met.

Skeeter's caption sounded ridiculous, but for once it was the truth.

"HARRY POTTER, ABANDONED SAVIOR, ONCE MORE ON THE MARRIAGE MARKET! SINGLES EVERYWHERE, THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO GET YOURSELF A HERO!

Under this there was a more recent picture of Harry, taken when he was in the middle of an arrest. But there was more.

Skeeter wanted to put all single men and women of good standing, who might want to become the next Mr. Or Mrs. Harry Potter on a list she was keeping of marriageable candidates. 

At the same time, extremely reliable sources, that naturally could not be confirmed, however close to the savior they might be, had it that Harry had recently begun an affair with a certain Quidditch star (name not mentioned). Skeeter couldn't help fanning the flames of that rumor. 

Their engagement was now just a matter of time....it said, in big letters. In contrast to Mr. Severus Snape who had for many years refused to marry the young hero, Mr. Potter's new paramour couldn't wait to walk down the aisle.

Anyone who wanted to prevent the match was advised to make their move on Harry now, before the hero of the wizarding world got away.

THE SEARCH FOR MR. RIGHT GOES ON. MR. SNAPE WAS NOT AVAILABLE FOR COMMENT, HOWEVER HE SEEMS TO HAVE FOUND A NEW LOVER, AS CONFIRMED BY THESE RECENT PHOTOGRAPHS,

WHO IS SEVERUS SNAPE'S NEW LOVE INTEREST? WHO DID THE IMPOSSIBLE AND PUSHED A CERTAIN HARRY POTTER OUT OF THE ARMS OF THE FORMER DEATH EATER?

MY DEAR READERS, THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS THAT THIS REPORTER WILL ATTEMPT TO ANSWER FOR YOU...WAIT FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT.

YOURS, RITA SKEETER

Skeeter was obviously certain of her success, winking smugly at her readers...continuation to follow. I'm on the case!

Harry let the paper fall from his hands.

"Hastings," he hissed, pointing to the man in the photo before turning to Ron and Hermione. "This bastard took my place at Spinner's End. This arsehole is Severus' new...well what Skeeter said."

With these words he snapped his newspaper closed and tried to swing his legs out of bed so that he could get at his clothes.

The rumors tying him to the Quidditch player he didn't take seriously. His friends knew it wasn't true as he'd explained long since. It was the rest of it that stung. And that reminded him that he had to get back; there was still one more thing he had to do at Severus'.

"Not so fast," Hermione called out, worried. "What do you think you're doing?"

"What does it look like, Hermione?" Harry threw out, snidely, as he grabbed his trousers. "I have to get to Spinner's End. Severus expects me to take all of my things out of the house. Everything has to repainted and refurnished, you see. Severus made that very clear yesterday."

Harry broke off. The memories hurt too much. Ron laid a hand on his shoulder, his mind made up.

"You're not going anywhere, Harry. You stay in bed and get better. For once you're going to be doing what the Healers tell you to do, sitting still.

Ron looked resolutely at his girlfriend as he stood up and headed for the door. "Please make sure Harry stays where he is, while I go bring Theo and Gawain up to speed."

"We'll get your things for you, Harry! You can count on it. We would be more than happy to pay Severus Snape a visit."

Harry, who had been about to thank Ron for his help, choked. Something in Ron's voice told him he was up to something, something that Harry would have to put a stop to.

"Ron, I insist that you leave Severus alone. Promise me. None of this is your problem. It's between me, Severus and Hastings." He practically spat the last name.

Ron wasn't exactly happy to give his word, but he knew Harry wouldn't stay in bed if he thought there was the least chance his three friends would interfere. Just the fact that it was so easy to convince Harry told Ron that his friend felt worse than he was letting on. Concern for Harry won out over any plans for revenge on Severus. Ron had never been able to stand the man, and now, after what he'd learned today, he knew how right he'd been. Severus was a complete arsehole, who wasn't worth shedding a tear over. At least that's how Ron saw it. 

Leaving Harry to the protection of his wife, he stormed his way over to the Aurors to inform Gwaine Robards and Theodor Nott that Harry was not going to make it in to work for a while longer.

The Healers had been clear in their findings. The poison in Harry's wound was spreading throughout his body as they'd first suspected. Almost all of his internal organs were affected and it would be a long time before his lungs, heart and liver would be completely healed.

Besides being the bearer of this bad news, of course, Ron wanted to ask Robards and Nott if they could help him retrieve Harry's things from Spinner's End and set them up at Grimmauld's Place. Ron would take care of everything so that Harry didn't ever have to see that creep again.

Goal in mind, he entered the ministry and took the lift up to the Auror's Department. He could only hope that when the time came he had the self discipline he'd need once Severus Snape was standing there in front of him.

* * * *  
"Professor Snape! Please excuse the interruption. We're here to collect Harry's things, since he's not in a position to do it himself," began Gwaine Robards diplomatically, hurrying to get the words out as soon as Severus answered the door, with an expression that made it clear they had better explain what the three of them were doing there. Of course he thought he knew; they were Harry's inquisition team.

Gwaine might have sounded friendly enough to begin with, but Severus had no illusions that these men were favorably inclined towards him. He'd hurt Harry too much for that. And how further irritating it was that Harry himself couldn't be bothered to come. Must he allow strange people, even if they were Harry's friends, unlimited access to his home after everything that had happened yesterday? No, he didn't think he must.

"May I ask why Harry can't come in person? It's not as if the three of you know which items belong to Harry and which don't."

"Perhaps you could let us come in, Professor Snape. It will be more comfortable than discussing it out here, don't you think?" Gwaine didn't respond to the acerbic tone of the man he was speaking to. He remained polite and neutral as he had been trained to do in his work as an Auror.

Severus stepped aside to let them in, making it clear even as he did so, that it was under protest. The whole situation seemed tense. It didn't help when the door to the kitchen opened and the very man entered whose face was all over the front pages, inciting the outrage of the wizarding community.

"Damn it, Severus! Can't you tell Kreacher to stop if with all his carrying on? I can't take this elf any more; you have to do something. I certainly can't move in like this...Oh, Excuse me!" Spotting the three men in the doorway, he interrupted his own tirade. "You have company!"

Immediately he pasted on a friendly smile and moved closer to his boyfriend. "Can I help you?" He asked, looking into the searching faces in front of him and holding out his hand. "Hastings. Pleased to meet you."

Ron had to force himself not to throttle the slimebag. He ignored the outstretched hand, blanking Hasting's existence completely.

"We're sure you will help us find all of Harry's stuff. After all, it's in your interest to get us out of here as soon as possible."

"Ah. You are Mr. Potter's friends," Hastings interrupted again, "It's just what I would have expected from a man who lacks all decency and decorum. Of course he would have to send a troupe of violent thugs here to do his dirty work." He grinned maliciously at each man in turn. "Is it too much for our superhero to fetch his little things?" He pretended not to see the effect of these words on his audience and ignored Ron's ever more furious glare.

"Snape! I swear to God, if you don't get your lover out of range this minute, I'm going to do something! Ron moved a step closer to the two men, his hands balled in fists.

Severus could tell from Ron's tone of voice that he really was about to slug Terrance if he didn't stop his baiting. 

Hastings was irritable. He'd gotten up very early to get there that morning and naturally wasn't pleased to discover that Harry possessions had not yet been removed. Severus wasn't pleased himself.

Severus saw, however that the three man could hardly contain their anger, and that he alone would not stand a chance against Robards, Nott and Weasley. Moreover, two of the three were Aurors, who could make trouble for him if he or Hastings drew a wand or lifted a fist in their direction. He held his lover back.

"Please wait for me in the kitchen, Terrence!" He said in a low voice, pointing to the door. "I'll help find Harry's various paraphernalia and then we'll talk." He laid a hand on Terrence's arm in a mute apology, hoping to placate him. "See if you can calm Kreacher in the meantime. We have to let him have some time to mourn. Only then can we bind him to us. Believe me, Kreacher will soon cease his crying. At the moment he is in extremis because Harry has let him go and he doesn't feel a bond. As soon as he's gotten past he's initial pains I can free him from his burden. Kreacher wasn't born to be free. He's too old for it." 

"What has Harry done?" Ron's shout interrupted them. "That can't be. Harry can't free his elf. There are secrets...Order secrets..."

Now Severus looked equally furious.

"Do you really think I would let Kreacher betray Harry? For years I have seen to Harry's safety. Just because our relationship is at an end, does not mean I am no longer responsible for that. Harry's secrets and those of the Order are safe in this house. I am merely taking care of Kreacher....The war is over, Ron. Secrets are not what they once were."

"The Death Eaters will never give up and you know that. And even once they're all in prison, there will still be plenty of others who have it out for Harry. Kreacher must not have the opportunity to harm Harry."

"He won't, Ron. I will take care of it."

"And what about Hastings?" When he spoke, Robards let the formalities drop. It was false to pussy foot around. They'd all known each other for years. It was more respectful, really, not to pretend otherwise. They were all adults here.

"Terrence wouldn't betray anything either. You seem to think he's a monster. He's not. I don't care what Harry told you, he never did anything to him..."

"Harry didn't tell us anything, just that you two had broken up and you're with Hastings now." Nott tried to step everything back a notch.

"What are you three doing here then if he hasn't lodged a complaint? Why doesn't he come here himself and find the answers to these questions?"

"Harry was severely injured in the last raid. He's been in the hospital since this morning." Gwaine packed the explanation for Harry's absence in a few short sentences. "He hasn't sent us to you at all. We came on our own so that Harry can rest without worrying about it. As bad as his condition was, he still wanted to come here today. Apparently he'd given his word and didn't want to break it."

"It took our combined efforts to stop him from showing up himself." Ron added through clenched teeth, overcome with the memory of how he'd left Harry, so unstable, so unwell. Only the promise he'd given Harry stopped him from pummeling his fists in Severus' face right then and there.

"He didn't say a word while he was dining with me and Terrence yesterday. How was I supposed to know if he didn't think it was important enough to mention and he didn't show anyone the injury?"

"Don't give me that, Severus. You know Harry! You know how he reacts when he's devastated and thinks he's backed into a corner," Theo said in a tired voiced. There was no way Snape could be as clueless as he pretended.

"Just show us Harry's things and we'll be gone as quick as we can. All this anger and fighting doesn't help anything."

Ron didn't want to stay any longer than he had to anyway. He knew that Harry had found his first true home, apart from Hogwarts at Spinner's End. It would be a long time before Harry recovered from its loss. Ron had to swallow as he thought of the happy moments his friend had lived in this place. He remembered Harry's smile the first time he'd shown him around the place, happy at Severus' side.

Ron heaved a sigh. Nothing that they did, or tried to do, would change the fact that Severus would live here with Hastings from now on and Harry would once more face the world alone. Of course he would be welcome to stay with his friends any time, but they all knew it wasn't the same. Harry had lost his home and that would weigh on him more than anything else


	7. Fire of Passion

Harry stayed in hospital for several days. Although his friends visited him, they couldn't break through his melancholy or lift his spirits. He tended to lash out, fighting when he dreamt, so at night the Healers gave him Dreamless Sleep to keep him from tearing open the curse wounds that had just begun to scar over.

It was a powerful potion, which was how he didn't notice Severus when he came every night.

Severus could find no peace. When he learned that Harry had been injured the whole time that Severus was chasing him out of the house, he was plagued with a guilt that he could not suppress.

All he had wanted was to rid himself of Harry, whatever the cost. And he'd succeeded, all too well...Severus shook his head over his own behavior. It was hard to meet his own eyes in the mirror these days.

Even if he didn't want to pursue a relationship anymore with the young man, he had not given up on his responsibility for him. Always he had insured Harry's safety. That he had somehow failed to notice such a severe injury didn't just weigh on his conscience, it confused him. How could he have behaved with that much unfeeling anger towards Harry? He shook his head again.

Sighing, he reached for the clipboard at the foot of the hospital bed and read through the Healer's report. It didn't look good. Harry would be out of commission for a long while. On the other hand, there was a good chance he might make a full recovery, provided that he took care of himself and let his body heal.

The special operations would have to go on without him, though, for the foreseeable future. His organ systems were too badly weakened for that.

Severus stayed a few hours at Harry's bedside as he did every night, overseeing the sleep of this man who had been a part of his life for so many years. 

With an encouraging squeeze of his hand, Severus left the room and apparated home, where he found Terrence waiting for him.

"Hey, you're pretty late. Did your patients keep you again?"

Severus just nodded. He certainly was not going to mention that he had been with Harry. No good would come of it and it would just provoke his lover to no purpose. He really didn't want anything from Harry, but he felt a certain tie that bound them still, whether he wanted it or not.

Terrence quickly changed the subject. "Oh by the way, I've made an appointment with the publisher for next week. We have to work through a few details and then there's a dinner planned to celebrate the book coming out. Your work has been printed and will be in stores soon."

He was smiling, but his expression was earnest as he stroked Severus' robe. "Please don't be late for the meeting. It's too important for your further career. In fact, it would be best if you took the whole day off. Then we won't have to worry about any obligations and we can prepare properly."

Severus wasn't the least bit interested in the business end of his book deal. But he saw that these details were necessary. In truth he had invested a lot of time in the project, Terrence even more so and he did need someone on his side to take the reigns and tell him whether his academic work would be profitable or a total loss. So he made an effort, keeping an interested tone to his voice and making his contribution to the discussion that went on long into the evening.

They were sitting in the living room, as they talked it over, side by side on the comfortable couch, each with a cup of coffee in hand, absorbed in the tedious business of making money.

For a brief second, Severus remembered how had sat here together with Harry. He would read a book while Harry made himself comfortable with his head on Severus' lap and listened. Harry had always loved his voice; he'd seemed to respond to it anyway, those times they'd relaxed by the fire.

That was how they'd reset themselves and recharged their batteries back then; energy they'd expended in the bedroom where together they gave the words lovemaking and seduction their true meanings. And yet, for some reason everything had changed. Gradually without warning they had come to the end of their relationship, the end of them.

With Terrence things were a little different. He himself was different. Since Harry, he no longer believed in a love that went deep and was carried inside the lover. The only thing he demanded from the relationship was loyalty and security.

That the seeking after security could be dull he noticed every time they had one of these conversations that turned on the subject. However he would not interrupt his new love, no matter how much of a headache the words, "money" and "power and influence" inevitably gave him. They would find a way to be together that satisfied them both.

It had been so good at first. Terrence had made himself right at home from the moment he'd moved in. When Severus had bound Kreacher to him, who in the meantime had become a shadow of his former self, Terrence hadn't seemed exactly thrilled about it, but at least he didn't let the elf feel his reluctance.

It soon became clear to Severus that sympathy and patience were not among Terrence's virtues. His dearest was a man who spoke of facts and figures and who had little forbearance for the tears and regrets of others.

At least he was polite, if distant with Kreacher, exactly the handling that he expected from his masters. Despite a lack of warmth on Terrence's part, the elf seemed to be blossoming with each passing day.

Severus was more than happy to be done with all the crying and carrying on, although he also noticed that there was still sorrow to be read in the elf's eyes that after 60 years he no longer served the house of Black.

Even if he had to live with the consequences, Severus knew that the elf's world view was not of his making. He had been tortured and belittled during all the time that the dark lord stood at the height of his powers and all of the pure blooded families served him. Kreacher's behavior was the result of years of mishandling, through beatings and harsh enslavement. Severus regretted Harry's decision, though he could understand how he came to make it that day.

"Severus!" Terrence called out, sounding disapproving, "Have you heard a word I'm saying to you?" Torn from his thoughts, Severus looked shamefaced at his lover.

"To be honest, love, the last thing I remember is the part where you told me that you'd scheduled a meeting with my publisher for next week."

Terrence stood up, shaking his head over his partner's disinterest. 

"You really are something, Severus. If you didn't have me, I swear." And with a slightly annoyed expression, he added. "I was saying that we should go shopping for new robes tomorrow to make sure everything looks good for the publicity shots. Anyway, I've been thinking about this couch. I think we should change it out for another one. The way you're acting today, I think maybe it's a little too comfortable!"

Although Terrence had no way of knowing that he'd been thinking of Harry just then, Severus had the uncomfortable sensation of being seen through. Slowly he stood up and pulled his lover up the stairs, directing him to the bedroom, where he led him gently to the bed.

"What's all this about, Severus?" Asked Terrence in his typical, arrogant voice, looking up at Severus from where he rested on his elbows.

"I'm going to make sure you forget my inattention, my love." Severus nuzzled at Terrence's throat, while he worked away at his clothes.

In the midst of their passion he disregarded the slightly bored look that Terrence gave him, whenever he thought he was too busy licking or sucking to notice. Severus had known for a while that something had changed in their love making since Terrence moved into Spinner's End. He'd attributed it to all the changes and the stress of finishing the book; his lover just didn't seem to lust after him at the slightest touch anymore. Perhaps it was to be expected. They saw each other every day now and didn't need to steal the time to be together. 

A nasty little voice inside him told Severus that it was a little early for them to be jaded in bed. With Harry it had taken years for this emptiness to develop...and even then it was only after he already had Hastings in his sights.

* * * *  
After Harry was released from the hospital, he went to his friends' and slept on their couch. Ron and Hermione had a small house with just enough space for them and their two children and no spare room. Still, Harry was happy to be there and get his arms around the little buggers. It had been too long since he'd seen Hugo and Rose.

"Uncle Harry! Uncle Harry!" Harry could already hear Hugo calling as he apparated into the garden and set off with measured strides towards the house, his travel bag stuffed with the gifts he'd brought from Paris.

"Uncle Harry! Uncle Harry!" If anything, Rose was even louder than her big brother. She ran at Harry on her little stubby legs and threw her arms around him. "I missed you, Uncle Harry. You said you were going to read me a story last time. Are you going to read me a story, Harry? Pleeeeeaaaase!"

Seeing Rose corner Harry with her round pleading eyes, Ron rushed in to tamp down the childish enthusiasm a bit.

"Rose! Hugo! Let Harry get in the house please before you tear him to pieces."

"It's alright, Ron. I love your kids. They're not bothering me at all. Quite the opposite." He swung Rose high in the air, causing her to squeal so much he had to put his hands over his ears the moment he set her down.

"Careful, princess. If I'm deaf I won't be able to read to you. Why don't you go take a look in your fairy tale book and decide which ones you want me to read, OK?"

"Oh, yes, Uncle Harry. I'm gonna go look... Should I get Beadle the Bard or the muggle one that Mummy gave me?"

Rose hurried off on her little stubby legs so as to start deciding between the two as soon as possible.

Harry watched her go with a smile and then turned to Hugo who was tugging excitedly at his robes to get his attention.

"Uncle Harry? If you're going to sleep here does that mean you can fly around the garden with me in the morning? Mum won't let me go on a broom by myself and Dad never has time in the morning and then he's too tired after dinner."

"Of course I'll fly with you," said Harry, sharing an amused look with Ron, "But you have to use a kidsbroom, OK? I don't want to get your mum mad at me."

"That's what Dad always says...He's afraid of making Mum angry. But that's not it. She's just afraid because she can't fly so good."

"You may be right, Hugo, but do you really want to put it that way when you ask for your bigger broom?"

Hugo shook his head vehemently as he planned what he was going to say to his mother to convince her to let him fly with Harry on an adult broom. After all he wasn't a baby anymore. He would be nine next year.

"No, Mum would hex my head a size smaller if I talked to her like that."

"There you go, Hugo. And I'm no braver than you when it comes to your mother."

"I'm not afraid of Hermione," Ron emphasized as he and Harry turned back to the house.

"Yeah, Ron. I'm sure you're not afraid of her at all. Right," laughed Harry as they spotted his friend in the doorway, her hands on her hips and a fierce look in her eyes.

"What's this I hear? Who's afraid of me?" Hermione gave Ron a playful punch to the shoulder.  
"Don't worry. I'll give you something to be afraid of, Ron, but not while Harry's visiting."

Ron still had his hopes that his friend might act as a buffer in their ongoing fight over brooms, but he didn't mention it just then.

Now Hermione looked into Harry's eyes.

"It's good to hear you laugh again," she said, giving his hand a friendly squeeze. 

"Your kids charmed it out of me," he said, "I can't resist them."

They joked and laughed the whole evening. It had been a long time since Harry had been able to forget like this. For the time being, at least he could relax and give himself over to the comfort of his friends and their children.

The whole family sat in Rose's room while Harry told her a nighttime story. Ron was next to his wife on the little kiddy sofa and Hugo lay next to his little sister in her bed, holding her in his arms. Rose snuggled tiredly into her brother as she listened to Harry from where he sat on the floor, his back against the wall. She held her breath as Harry mimicked The Big Bad Wolf, threatening in a deep sing song voice to eat Little Red Riding Hood up. They shared Little Red Riding Hood's thrill to see her grandmother freed from the wolf's belly and all came to a happy end at last.

Although Rose had long since fallen asleep, Hugo hung on Harry's every last word and even Ron couldn't tear himself away from the story. At last Harry picked Hugo up and prepared to carry him to his room.

"I love you, Uncle Harry," the little guy murmured, half asleep. Harry pulled the covers up to his ears and tiptoed out of the room. But not before giving the boy a kiss on the forehead.

"I love you, too, big guy. Sleep tight."

Ron and Hermione followed their nightly routine and kissed their children before closing the doors behind them.

"You would be a good father, Harry!" Said Hermione, setting a carafe of coffee on the table along with cups and the cake that she'd made specially for the occasion. Normally she didn't bother, first of all because she couldn't bake and secondly because she could never hope to come near the heavenly creations that Molly Weasley made. She couldn't even reproduce the less sweet tea cakes her own mum used to make. Every time she tried the kids and Ron pulled a face.

So it was today. Ron chewed and chewed before he gave up and swallowed his bite down with a slug of coffee.

"Is something wrong, dear?" Hermione asked, daring him to say a word with the strength of her glare alone.

"No, no, what makes you think that?" Ron was quick to say, while Harry broke out in laughter.

"So much for not being afraid of your wife!"

Harry took a piece of the rock hard marble cake, dunked it in his coffee and, once it was good and soaked through, shoved it in his mouth. "You're just spoiled, Ron," he said, swallowing his mouthful and wiping his fingers on his napkin.

Ron stared astounded at Harry's technique.

"How did you come to think of dipping the cake in the coffee?" He asked. "Isn't that gross?"

"You forget how I grew up. At the Dursleys' I almost never got fresh bread. You learn either to chew a lot or to soften the pieces up in liquid. Cake in coffee is actually quite tasty. Just the coffee itself isn't so tasty anymore." Harry shot Ron a cheeky look. "Make a note of it."

They chatted on into the night, only breaking up when Hermione caught Harry yawning behind his hand a second time.

"We should sleep. Tomorrow will be a demanding day if we mean to get to Grimmald Place and set it to rights." She stood up, carrying the dirty cups and plates into the kitchen. Harry watched her go, feeling grateful.

He was really tired and his body required more rest, he'd noticed than it used to. Exhausted he lay himself down on the couch and almost as soon as he'd wished his friends good night he fell asleep


	8. Flames Dashed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jorg tells me that it is Snape and not Hastings who bound Kreacher to him. I will go back and correct the mistake in the last chapter.

"Hugo! Harry! You come down here this minute! We've been holding breakfast for you." Hermione stood in the little garden with her hands on her hips and scolded the two flyers, who had been cruising around since early morning.

"I think Mum really means it, Uncle Harry! She looks really angry," said Hugo, gliding his Jr. Broom over to the man who, in point of fact, had run him through his flying exercises with all due care.

And indeed when Harry landed he was confronted with his friend's disgruntled face.

"What's the problem, Hermione?" He asked, once Hugo, too, was safely aground. 

Hugo took one look at his mother and called, "I'm just going to wash my hands, yeah? I'll be right back," disappearing before he could hear her answer.

"Well," she said, "Ron has taken it upon himself to invite Gwaine, Theo and Pansy all to breakfast this morning."

"Theo and Gwaine are here?" Harry was more than surprised to hear it. "Why?"

"Oh, they want to get a team together to make Grimmauld Place into a real home. A real home for you." She glared at Harry as if he were to blame for this injustice. "They could have given me a little advance warning, but no. As usual, Mr. Ronald Weasley only thinks of himself. And now I have to figure out how I'm supposed to feed everyone. And he knows the kitchen stove and I do not get on!"

Laughing, Harry took his friend by the arm.

"Then let's see how we can solve the problem together. You know the kitchen stove and I are old friends."

He didn't mean any reproach by this reference to his time at the Dursley's. He only meant to remind her that he'd learned to cook, once, but Hermione seemed to take it the wrong way.

"Oh Harry! I didn't mean that you...that it's your job...I'm sorry!"

"What's there to be sorry about, Hermione? I just want to help you with breakfast. It's no big deal." Harry was completely befuddled by her mood swings lately.

One minute she would be furious at you, and the next she'd be crying on your shoulder. Like just now.

"Hey, sweetie, don't cry," he said, stroking her back gently.

"I'm sorry. I don't understand why I'm crying either. I'm just so emotional lately. All this back and forth...I'm sick of it!" And there went the tears again. Harry lifted her chin a little and looked into her eyes. 

"Honey, have you tried taking a pregnancy test? I can't help but think your symptoms sound like you might be expecting again."

Immediately, Hermione stopped snuffling as she the import of Harry's words crashed over her.

"Damn it all, you're right. But I can't be. We don't have enough room or enough money," she wailed. "Oh no, Harry! Do you really think I could be..."

"Pregnant? " Harry ended her sentence with a small chuckle. "Yes, I do. I think you're going to be a mama again. So be happy and don't think about the space and the money. You and Ron will find a way. One kid more or less won't bring the wolf to the door. Anyway, you have Uncle Harry to help you out and he can be dead useful sometimes. So don't worry, yeah?"

At these words she collapsed into his arms and he had her to console all over again.

Ron, who had been too busy taking care of all the people he'd invited to breakfast to keep track of Harry and Hermione, was looking for them when he saw his wife crying in Harry's arms.

"Hermione!" He cried, looking questioning at Harry.

Harry gave a reassuring smile. "I'm going to leave you lovebirds alone for a bit. Hermione has something to tell you, Ron. Something wonderful," he added softly, for Hermione's ears. "I'll be in the kitchen making sure we get something on the table soon. All that flying's made me hungry."

Harry was beaming when he came into the kitchen, where he found Pansy already hard at work, slicing bread and trying not to hurt Rose who was eagerly collecting each slice as it came into a basket. The knife was far too fast and Rose's little fingers far too near for Harry's taste and he gestured to Pansy that he would take over.

"Come, sweetheart. We'll set the table together and leave the cooking to Harry." Pansy was just as glad to give up her post, knowing that Harry made the world's best breakfast. She cleared off as soon as she was able.

"Make the bacon nice and crispy, Harry!" Was the only comment she allowed herself before she took Rose out of the kitchen.

Harry didn't care. Whatever got them to leave him alone, he was glad to do. Everyone was handeling him with kid gloves, since he was still so sick. And he was glad to work, too. for the distraction it gave him from his troubles.

He tried not to let it show, but it was hard to keep his spirits up. He would much rather just lock the door behind him and give himself over to his misery. But his friends wouldn't let him do that. Not yet.

He was dreading the evening. Today, for the first time since his separation from Severus, he would be in a house alone. And yet he wanted that.

For the whole last week his friends had contrived to make sure that he was either hanging out with the guys or receiving visits from the girls, who'd alternated taking care of him since he'd been in hospital.

There was not a single day he'd been alone; he was always surrounded by his friends. Only Severus, he was painfully aware, hadn't found it necessary to visit him. Since their fight he had neither seen nor heard anything from the man.

Determined not to let on how dejected he felt, he finished off the pancakes and eggs with bacon by magic, made the coffee and levitated all the platters ahead of him into the dining room.

"Have I ever told you your pancakes were to die for, Harry? You really have to give me the recipe." Pansy grinned happily at Harry, while she plied her fork, bringing bites of syrup dripping pancake to her mouth. "Don't you think we need the recipe, dear?" Pansy prattled on and on. It was a talent of hers. With her cheerful lack of self consciousness, Pansy could carry a whole conversation herself without leaving anyone out.

Harry was glad for her palaver since it kept him from his own brooding. As long as he was busy with her talk, he could lock Severus deep inside and keep a certain distance from the loneliness and heartbreak that were always drilling their way through him.

"Is mum picking the kids up at ten or do I have to drop them off at the Burrow before we apparate to Grimmauld Place?" He heard Ron ask indistinctly with a piece of bacon hanging out of his mouth.

"Please, Ron. Don't speak with your mouth full. Think of the children who are going to imitate this unacceptable behavior!" Hermione's nagging didn't have the desired effect. Ron gave his wife a broad smile free of the slightest shame, though he did chew the next set of bites with better care. Today it didn't take much, and Hermione was smiling again. It seemed that after the initial shock they were both pleased with their good news.

Harry gave his friends a fond look. He was happy for them. He would have liked to have children himself, but for a man who loved other men it wasn't in the cards.

For a moment he thought of Teddy Lupin...Remus and Tonks' son whose godfather he'd become shortly after his birth.

Right after the war he'd been too young to adopt Teddy. The boy was growing up with his grandmother, who was unfortunately not well disposed towards Harry. Since the day that Andromeda sued him for custody of Teddy and won, he hadn't seen the little boy even once. It seemed that Andromeda blamed him for the death of her daughter and wanted to protect her grandson from his influence, as she phrased it to the press.

At the time Harry had been in the middle of a life crisis that seemed like it wouldn't resolve itself soon. He'd let the grandmother have her way and given up his visiting rights. He'd been advised that it would be better for Teddy that way, and knowing he was in good hands, Harry had accepted Andromeda's judgement.

With a heavy heart, Harry had retreated back into his life as a lone man.

He did write the boy a nice long letter every month, sharing the details of his life and promising that he would always love him even if it had to be from afar. He didn't know if Teddy ever got the letters, but he assumed so, since they were never returned. 

Realizing that he was falling into a funk, harry shook his head free of these melancholy thoughts and turned to Hermione and Ron, who didn't seem able to agree on the day's plans. Or rather their bickering made planning impossible.

"Why don't you bring the children to the Burrow together?" He interrupted his friends' tirades. "Pansy and I can tidy the kitchen here and then meet you at Grimmauld Place. I'm sure Molly and Arthur will be glad to see you both, and after all you do have something to talk about....". 

Harry chuckled and nodded his head towards Hermione's still flat stomach. Ron's proud expression spoke volumes and Pansy put two and two together.

"Hermione are you...are you two...Why didn't you tell me before? We certainly wouldn't have all turned up at your door like that and made so much work for you if we'd known!..."

"No worries, Pansy," said Hermione, laughing as her friend through her arms around her neck and congratulated her. "It hasn't been long. I didn't know I was pregnant myself till today. Our undercover Doctor here figured it out." She pointed to Harry, whose eyes glowed with pleasure for the first time in a long while. 

Harry laughed and took her by the arm.

"You should see a real Healer, though, just to make sure."

"Nonsense. You are a real Healer. Just because you left the hospital doesn't mean you can't diagnose anymore."

He couldn't argue with that. He knew enough to be certain. Even when he'd just been in training, his instincts had always been good.

"Even so, Hermione. I'd feel better if I knew everything was fine with you and the baby. I'm sure Ron feels the same."

"I'll make sure we get an appointment at St. Mungo's, Harry. Don't worry. Of course, I want to make sure everything's developing normally." Ron took his wife in his arms and kissed her on the nose, deciding then and there to floo with her and the kids in order to share their news before he made the appointment.

Molly would be thrilled to hear about her daughter-in-law's condition, as would Hugo and Rose, Ron was certain.

* * * *  
So it was just the four of them who apparated to Grimmauld Place. Since the Healers had forbidden Harry to apparate alone, they traveled side along, Gwaine Robards quietly taking Harry by the arm. 

No sooner had they left Ron's house behind, then they poppped up a few seconds later in front of the houses 10 through 14. Gwaine held Harry tight, holding him back as he bent over, his face screwed up with pain as he tried not to fall over.

The pain was unbearable. He couldn't keep himself upright and fell to his knees.

"Damn it, Harry! You should have told that you weren't ready to apparate yet."

"I'm OK. It's just the drugs. They're running out again. This potion that I have to take every day for the pain...I forgot it back there in all the excitement over Ron and Hermione. That's all."

Theodor knelt on the ground next to Harry and held a phial to his lips.

"Your Doctor at Mungo's made me promise to bring a few bottles with me. I guess he knows you. He says you're too careless in your dosing and it couldn't hurt to always carry a few extra potions in my robes..."

Gwaine laughed, nodding in agreement as he produced his own phials.

Harry emptied the potion in one swallow while his friends looked on. Then he sighed and sank deeper into Gwaine's chest until Gwaine had to kneel, too, to keep supporting him. 

"Um...Harry! Are you sure that your house is here?" Harry laughed weakly, seeing how Pansy was peering uncertainly at the house numbers. She turned around to give the three men a perplexed look. "I mean look at the numbers. 12 is missing."

"There is a number 12, Pansy," said Harry with a thin smile that failed to erase the lines of pain from his face. "As soon as the potion has finished working, I'll see to it."

"Take it easy, Harry," said Theo, capping the phial and placing the empty back in his pocket where it would wait to be filled again, "just in case."

"It's alright everybody. No need to worry. I just forgot to take my meds. That's all."

"Harry! You were a Healer yourself. You must know that with a cursewound you can't miss a dose, not if you want to get better." Gwaine looked into Harry's eyes, completely serious. "I'm counting on you, Harry. I want you to be my successor, and before that we're going to need your expertise as the trainee examiner. Alastair's going to be retiring at the end of the month. We need you to be ready to give those lectures in Defense Against the Dark Arts right at the beginning of the school year."

"So no pressure then. Thanks, Boss," said Harry, with sarcasm. He walked up to the house doors and murmured his address. 

The Fidelius charm still held after all these years and he was still the secret keeper. That meant that he was finally going to be able to give himself over to his heartache and he would not have to act out being strong anymore. No one came to this house without his permission.

He'd been waiting for it, longing for it, the chance to be alone. He knew his friends had done enough taking care of him. He didn't want them to feel obligated. He would take care to keep his pain to himself, just long enough that he would be left to himself after today.

He wanted to ruminate over the love that he had lost without feeling ashamed. With his friends that wasn't possible. For them he had donned a mask that had held right up till now. The only exception had been those few moments in the hospital when he had cried on Ron's breast. But that wasn't him. He was the strong guy...Nobody could find out what a hollow actor he was....

The two houses on either side, pushed apart with the same old familiar noise, revealing his new home nestled between them.

Number 12 Grimmauld Place: his past and his sorry future met in this dusty place that he had thought never to set foot in again. Harry wondered rightly enough if it was a good idea to move here at all. It had always been home to the demons of his past...


	9. Blood Relations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a mistranslation in an earlier chapter that I corrected but didn't flag. Sirius' partner is a muggle not a "muggleborn". It comes up here, so I wanted to make sure people who read earlier didn't get confused!

"Well? Did you get in?"

Hermione looked hopefully at her husband, but he had to disappoint her. There was no good news to report.

"No. He's not letting anyone through the floo and the house is locked up under Fidelius."

"We should never have let him move into that mausoleum. And all alone! He wasn't ready yet." Hermione sank down on her kitchen chair and rubbed her eyes. She could barely make out the worried look Ron was giving her through her tears.

"Honey, don't make yourself crazy. It's only been two weeks that he hasn't shown up for work. Maybe he just needed a little time to himself. The break up with Severus hit him hard, after all. There doesn't have to be anything more to it than that."

"He would have told somebody in that case, Ron. Harry is not that irresponsible. He loves his work. Why would he just bail out like that? Anyway, none of us have heard a word from him: not you, not me, not Robards, who is his actual boss."

"Why should he report to Robards? He's still on the inactive list and he doesn't have to be at Hogwarts until September."

"Ron, you know Harry. Since when does he stay home just because he's sick or injured? He was always there at Central Command even if he could only stay and make suggestions."

"I know that, Hermione!"

He understood his wife's concern. He was worried, too. He just didn't want Hermione to get more upset than she had to at this stage of her pregnancy. The Doctor had said everything was fine and there was no need for concern, but Ron wanted to be careful. 

Now, though, Ron had run out of encouraging words. There just wasn't any denying the truth anymore.

Sitting there with his brother at work, sifting through the orders, he had felt the same conviction: there was no way Harry was just enjoying some time off. Even George admitted he was worried that Harry never picked up the sneak-o-scopes he'd ordered for the kids. "That's not like Harry," he'd said. And he was right. None of this was.

Harry was cheerful and kind and always attentive to the needs of those around him, especially the people he loved. And if there was any family filled with those people it was the Weasleys. Every day that there was no little note or gift, no sign of reaching out to a family member...well....

"What can we do? If he doesn't let us in on his own, our hands are tied. Harry's too powerful for one of us to overcome his barriers." Hermione could hear her despair at her own stupidity in her voice. "Anyway, I've tried pitting my magic against his and it was no go."

Hermione ignored Ron's reproachful look when she admitted it. He didn't much like her highhandedness, she knew.

"So what do you suggest now?" Ron looked to his wife, since she'd obviously thought farther ahead.

"Our hands may be tied, but I know someone who can get around the problem, I think. At least it's worth a try."

"What do you have up your sleeve, Hermione?"

"I'm going to write to Sirius. He's got to come and get his godson to see reason."

"Sirius! You know that Harry won't thank you for forcing his godfather to come back to the country."

"But this can't go on like this. We have to know if Harry is OK. Our friend is injured. And not just because of the curse. What Severus did to him has left open wounds that I'm not sure can be....Damn it, Ron! Why did we just leave him alone like that? I can't stop blaming myself!"

Hermione stood up, determined now, and took out quill and parchment. "As far as I'm concerned he can hide in his snail shell as long as he wants, but he has to check in with us all regularly. I can't take worrying like this all the time." She dunked the feather firmly in the ink and began writing the letter to Sirius that would explain exactly how grave the situation was. 

* * * * *

A few minutes and one emergency portkey later, a very worried Sirius Black popped up directly in the Auror's Central Command Station. Gwaine Robards, who had directed the portkey, greeted him the second he topped the ministry stairs.

"Lord Black! It's good to have you back in England, Sir. I'm sorry it's not under better circumstances."

Sirius Black cracked his neck before replying. The muscles had cramped dreadfully on the journey, scarcely surprising since only a madman would take a portkey straight from Canada without special training.

Not that he cared. He hadn't hesitated a second after receiving Hermione's call for help. Now he hung up his hat, took off his robe and ran his fingers through his long curly hair before greeting the official in front of him.

"Auror Robards, I assume. I've heard a lot about you. Harry mentions you at least once in every letter he sends." Sirius looked the man straight in the eyes. "What the hell's going on here, Robards? First Harry writes me this wretched letter. Then Hermione asks me for some kind of emergency favor. I have to tell you; I'm a little confused."

"Maybe we should discuss the details in my office. With your permission, I'll ask Auror Nott to join us."

"Of course, Robards. Nott's the young man who shares an office with Harry, right?"

"That's right, Lord Black. Theodore Nott is one of Harry's closest friends. Since they started in special forces together." Despite the severity of the situation, he grinned remembering the history of the two young men. "At Hogwarts they'd been enemies of a sort. Nott was a Slytherin so you can imagine there was some tension between them back then."

"Youthful indiscretions, Robards," Sirius replied. " You can't hold it against anybody, not after all these years. Harry's got the right idea, making up his own mind about things, not letting prejudice blind him. The bad habits we inculcate with these school rivalries aren't worth keeping up later."

"I'm glad you're so open minded. Not everyone is. A lot of people would have just as soon locked every Slytherin in Azkaban."

"There will always be fools, Robards," Sirius drawled, as he followed Robards down the hall. He would know. He could have written the book about being blinded by house rivalries. Him and Harry's dad and Remus and Peter together. They hadn't exactly been sporting with their Slytherin enemies.

Once in his office, Robards offered his noble guest a seat before asking his secretary to fetch Nott and to bring a tray of refreshments.

"Can I offer you a bite to eat, Lord Black?" Robards hoped to put off the unpleasantness for a moment. It was going to be bad news.

But Sirius wasn't having it.

"No need, Robards. I ate right before I took the portkey. As I'm sure you know, my partner is a muggle, who unfortunately can't accompany me here, but he was able to make sure I got a good meal in me before I left. He may not be a wizard, but he knows how to handle my nervous stomach!" 

Theodore and the secretary interrupted them just as Robard's was struggling to think of a reply on the subject of a Lord's muggle lover and his stomach. Robards breathed a sigh of relief. He never felt completely at ease with the nobility.

"Lord Black! May I introduce Auror Nott? Theodor Nott...Lord Black."

The two men shook hands and soon after the ice was broken. Sirius had always known how to charm company. Then Theo explained what Severus had done, how he had treated Harry.

"That rat bastard!" Sirius burst out. He was disgusted and then horrified and finally he was overcome with rage at this man that he had known better than any one guessed.

He would never have thought that Severus could be so false. The man who had been his, however briefly, would never have acted in so mean and ugly a way. And yet it must be true. Why would these people lie to him?

"And since then no one has seen or heard from Harry?' He asked, quietly, over his fury.

"Right. We all helped him move in, you know. We went through all the rooms at Grimmauld Place, cleaning and fixing it up and then Harry said his goodbyes and that was it."

Theodor and Gwaine exchanged a look and then Robards added. "Harry seemed completely normal when we left. He was laughing. He even told a few jokes while we got his things together...". Gwaine trailed off as he tried to recall Harry's mood at the time. "He seemed a little quieter. He wasn't having as much fun, maybe, as usual, but nothing that would have raised an alarm." He cast his mind back to those last minutes before they left Harry alone behind the doors of Grimmauld Place. "He seemed a little sad to me. He was putting his photos up on the mantel, ones of himself and Severus and he sighed a bit. But then he straightened up and was joking again."

Sirius shook his head, his face knotted with concern.

"That's how he acted as a boy when he was putting up a front. Do you remember that story from Harry's 5th year when Severus was tutoring him in Occlumency?" Theodor nodded in understanding. "Right. Harry has a talent for downplaying his suffering, so no one notices it. If he doesn't want you to see through his mask, then you won't."

Gwaine cocked his head at Sirius, intrigued by this new side to the story that he had only heard from Harry's point of view. Sirius' face, too, had its own fascination. He'd only seen the official criminal Id, the same photograph that was published in the papers when Sirius was suspected of murdering all those muggles in Godric's Hollow.

"So, Lord Black, it's your opinion that Harry was putting on an act just so that we would let him live alone at Grimmauld Place?"

"Please, do me a favor and don't don't call me Lord Black all the time," Sirius interrupted the Head Auror. "I'm Sirius Black and that's good enough for me. I've left all that Lordly nonesense behind. Anyway, I gave the title over to Harry years ago."

"Harry is the representative of Black House?" Theo asked in astonishment. 

"When he started his Auror training, he wanted to make sure he came across as normal as possible. He figured the stigma of being the "savior of the wizarding world" was bad enough already. He wanted to be noticed for his achievements and not for his reputation."

Gwaine shook his head in disbelief.

"That guy had a safe seat in the Wizardgamut and decided to go chase criminals for a living? I can't believe it."

Sirius gave them both an assessing look before he decided to answer.

"It's more than that. He is Lord Potter-Black, the conquerer of Voldemort and the possessor of one of the largest fortunes in Grigotts. Harry doesn't need to work. He does it because he wants to live an ordinary life and because he doesn't want to depend on his inheritance. Being known as Harry James Potter is all the importance he needs."

Sirius stopped in the middle of his explanation, remembering the time that he spent together with Harry in Grimmauld Place before he noticed that Severus had begun to fall in love with Harry, back when he and Severus were still sleeping together, if only out of habit.

He'd never been in love with the Potions Master. At the time he had never known that kind of love. Love had waited for Thomas.

Like a thunderbolt from heaven, he was struck in the wilds of the Canadian woods by love, right there outside his log cabin.

Thomas was a Forest Ranger and he'd stumbled across Sirius in the course of his wanderings. They'd gotten together almost immediately, becoming serious very quickly in the intensity of a Canadian winter.

Sirius couldn't imagine living in the cold damp of England anymore. He was compelled now by the vigorous chill of Manitoba. If it weren't for the alarm sent out by Harry's friends, there was no way he would ever have come back.

"Harry has always been a good actor," he interrupted his thoughts and turned his attention back to the Aurors. "Even as a child. You may not know this but he was mistreated by his muggle relatives. Because of them he has distorted ideas about love and trust. For many years he thought he had no worth. I can only imagine that the separation from Severus has sent him back to an earlier state of mind."

Sirius looked into the worried faces in front of him. "Especially if the curse wounds were left untreated for so long. Cursewounds are known for the effect they have on a person's mental state. They amplify all emotions, the good and the bad! A deadly mixture for someone who can perform dark magic and doesn't know it."

Gwaine sprang up at these words.

"What did you say?" He cried out. He had never heard that Harry was skilled in dark magic. It put an entirely different slant on things.

"You didn't know that? Harry could always do it; that's no secret. After all, he survived Avada Kedavra twice." Sirius was really astonished that no one had thought to make that connection. "Hasn't one of you ever wondered how he brought off that little miracle? To survive a curse of that kind requires a great deal of dark magic. Harry was able to absorb the Avada because he released his own wild dark magic."

"But that's not possible, Sirius. No one can do that...". Gwaine couldn't wrap his mind around what he was hearing. "Harry was only a year old the first time the dark lord attacked. When could he have learned to use dark magic?"

"It was unconscious. The gift came to him in the womb and he was born knowing how to use it. Why and how nobody knows." Sirius tried to explain, but his audience wasn't convinced.

Theo shook his head.

"And what does that have to do with his injury?"

"It's simple. I am positive that for anyone else this curse would have been fatal." Sirius knew this explanation complicated things, but that didn't make it less true. Harry was able to unleash black magic without knowing it. Thus his soul remained pure and was not eaten up in the cold flames of the curse. "And from your description, I think that this curse was a very particular spell. Even if I don't know why, it seems to me no coincidence that it was Harry who was it hit with it. I think targeting him was the plan from the beginning."

"How could you know that?" Robards said, "Not even the doctors could say anything precise about the curse beyond that it weakened Harry's organ systems."

"That's exactly what clued me in. A curse of this nature shouldn't have weakened Harry...it was fired with the intent to kill him." Sirius sounded calmer than he felt. "The curse didn't kill him because he's Harry Potter. I know from my own study of dark curses that no one survives a curse once it spreads dark circles around the wound. That was a death blow that was turned by Harry's wonderful magic. Harry survived because he has the ability to use dark magic without trading his soul to do it."

"You really think it was no coincidence?" Gwaine was still not convinced.

"You know Harry. He's a good Auror, yes?"

"One of the best," Theodor added, guessing what Sirius was driving at.

"Harry's magical force is the greatest I've ever experienced, " Sirius stated. "If he was the one who was hit by this thing, than there is a plan behind it. And we have to find out who it is who wants to harm my godson!"

"That's all very well and good, but that doesn't solve our current problem!" Gwaine pointed out. He knew intuitively that Sirius was right. Harry was the victim of an attack that no one had seen or heard.

Now Gwaine could also see why Draco Malfoy had been so complacent when they asked him questions under Veritaserum. It had cost him nothing to answer because they had asked the wrong questions. Although they had no proof, Gwaine knew what had happened.

Harry James Potter was the victim of a conspiracy and Severus and or Hastings had something to do with it. The answer lay there somewhere; he could smell it. As unrelated as all the facts seemed right now, there was something that would make it all hang together and he was going to find out what it was. He was going to uncover the connection between Hastings, the Malfoys, and Severus' betrayal of Harry.

"I really wonder why we didn't take Harry's reputation into account. I mean we have the great Harry Potter in our unit, we can expect attacks on his person any given day. We should have been more careful. Our only excuse was that there were too many coincidences that came together that day."

Theo hastened to explain to Sirius.

"Harry was only at the Ministry by chance the day it happened. He'd just returned from Paris and was reporting in to Gwaine when the alarm went off."

"So how were the Death Eaters to know that Harry would be participating in the raid? That can't have been spoken of beforehand."

"You underestimate Narcissa if you think she wasn't capable of snapping up information and acting on it in the instant," Theo replied. "She's had years to line all her ducks in a row."

Gwaine reined in the thoughts he'd let wander in the last five minutes and rejoined the conversation.

"Why would this woman sacrifice her son just to kill Harry? It's thanks to him that she's free in the first place!" He shook his head in frustration. "Why do none of these scenarios make any sense?"

"Well that's what we have to figure out. We'll have to try to find our answers."

Sirius felt his old wild smile on his face, not in denial of the seriousness of the problem, but because of it. He was back in his element. Even after all these years he still had it. Once an Auror, always an Auror. Even Gwaine would have to give credit where credit was due. He was an astute observer and he'd been good when this was his job, back in the day, when they were fighting the dark lord the first time and Harry was just a little toddler, a toddler who'd cut the monster's power off at the root.

"I still don't get how any of this helps us solve Harry's current situation." Theo tried to steer everyone's attention back to the problem at hand. "How can we we overcome the wards at Grimmauld place? Does anyone have any ideas about that little issue?"

Sirius astonished them all by laughing and clapping his hands.

"That won't be a problem. I'm a Black and Harry's godfather. He made me the secret keeper for Grimmauld place years ago. I'm the only person the wards will let in. I can get to him."

Sirius stood up, reclaimed his hat and set his robe over his shoulders before charging towards the exit. At the door, he turned to the two Aurors who were staring with open mouths, apparently watching him apparate all by himself to Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

"Well what are you waiting for, gentlemen? It's time we paid Harry a visit!"


	10. Fiery Times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Jorg- a new chapter at last! I hope you enjoy it. :)

"Tighter, Severus!" Terrence groaned, pushing into Severus' hand as Severus attached himself to his nipple, sucking for all he was worth. His teeth grazed the pointed nub and it almost drove the man to shout out loud. Almost. Terrence's self control saved him at the last minute. It wouldn't do for a man in his position to let it all spill out like that, not even in bed.

Today Severus had chosen to pay his partner's cool demeanor no mind and he was plying every skill he had to seduce him. As he felt his lover relax beneath him, he lifted his mouth from his breast all the better to give him what he asked for.

Slow and deep he kissed Terrence, down his chest, over the softness of his belly and to the tops of his thighs, where the touch released a small giggle, which made Severus laugh.

"Do you like that, my dear?" He asked, mischeviously; he hadn't missed his mark.

"Just keep going, Severus....It's...Merlin you make me crazy...do something already...Fuck!"

Terrence's half swallowed cries were music to Severus' ears as he worked to do the man's bidding, taking care of the not insignificant hardness of his lover. He loosed his grip on Terrence's erection and brought his mouth down instead, lapping up the drops of precum that were dripping from the head. How he enjoyed this: the taste of it, the wet feel on his lips, the up and down movements of his mouth as he generously pleasured his partner's cock. 

Every time he swallowed his mouthful, he could feel Terrence struggle not to shoot off too soon. Terrence was trying to stave it off; he pinched his bollocks and demanded in a lust rusted voice that Severus get to preparing him.

"Merlin, stick your fingers in my arse or I swear I won't let you near me unless I've done it myself ahead of time..."

Caught up in feeling his own desire, Severus didn't have to feel the coldness of his lover, a lack of warmth he exuded even as he begged to be taken.

Their love play had long since become hard and brutal. Whether Terrence wanted to be penetrated or just demanded a blowjob made no difference. Severus figured out fast that what his boyfriend really wanted was rough, painful fucking. Endless kissing sessions, and random stroking, as he described an evening of romance and foreplay were not his way.

Terrence held himself back as long as he could. He let no helpless sound escape his lips, or tried not to. There were to be no animalistic groans, no sighs, no crying out. Or there shouldn't be. Tonight was yet another one of those days when he found it unbelievably difficult to keep his behavior in check.

Severus was just too good.

Terrence lifted his head and watched his partner indulge him with his mouth at the same time that he used his clever hands, finding the lubricant, dipping his fingers and using the index finger to push ruthlessly into his hole.

Terrence couldn't help a groan as his body cramped with sudden pain. But he had demanded this level of brutality. He loved to feel pain racing up his spine, spreading out from his tailbone and lighting up all the nerves in his back before bursting through his skull, reminding him that he was still alive.

Repressing yet another cry of pain, he took the second and then the third finger that Severus pushed inside of him, lips pressed together against his lust. Seeing that lust, Terrence was pleased; he enjoyed the power it gave him that Severus always wanted so badly to dominate the person under him. It was something he hadn't even thought of when he started working on Severus. It had been so easy to lead Severus by the nose; this very passion had played right into his hands.

This time he couldn't help a little gasp as he felt himself savaged by a fourth finger.

"Fuck...Severus...that's incredible."

He couldn't go on. Severus was upping the tempo, bringing him to the edge of his control. He seemed to take an unholy glee in driving him crazy.

Terrence allowed Severus to push his knees all the way to his chin, watching from there as his partner once again scooped up a good amount of lubricant, this time applying it to his member, causing him to release a deep moan at the touch.

They were so abandoned, Hastings couldn't help thinking. He felt his cock jump in anticipation of what would happen when they fucked and was barely able to stop himself from taking himself in hand.

He didn't want to finish in two strokes anyway. That was why he hadn't tolerated too much preparation. It was this he wanted to drag out.

"Are you ready?" Severus' voice was hoarse, but he managed to check once again that everything was alright.

"Just do it!" Terrence cried in frustration. "Ahh....yes.... there...right there...Merlin that's good!"

Terrence had no way to hold the stream of praise back anymore. It just felt too good with Severus' cock in him, rocking him faster and faster to seventh heaven.

Severus grunted to the time of his efforts which only turned on Terrence more and he reached between his legs to pump his cock and grip his balls.

Right then in that moment Terrence had to say he was enjoying his mission.

This whitehot experience was not something a man encountered every day; truly magnificent sex was not easy to come by. Without exaggerating, Terrence had to admit that in Severus he had found a master of domination.

Severus was pounding into him like a wild thing.

Severus felt Terrence tighten around his pullsing cock. He pushed yet harder and deeper into the abused hole, almost regretting when the spasms started squeezing his cock as Terrence gave in to his pleasure.

Terrence didn't care...couldn't help crying out, trembling and groaning as he coaxed the last drops of his own orgasm, watching without emotion as Severus, unable to hold out any longer, encountered his.

 

Severus collapsed on Hastings, all sticky and filthy, apparently too spent to clean them up. Usually Hastings couldn't bear to be touched after sex, but he wasn't in the mood to fight Severus off right now. He'd enjoyed the act too much to fuss over Severus' constant cuddling and kissing. And it seemed to fit the moment. Still, he was glad when Kreacher knocked on the bedroom door, and at the quiet, "enter, walked in.

The air was full of the scent of all the sex that had been going on there between the two masters.. Kreacher crinkled his nose, and as he bowed low to Hastings, offering up the day's Prophet, he quick as a wink opened one of room's casement windows to let in a little fresh air.

"Would Masters Snape and Hastings like to take their dinner in bed this evening? Kreacher has prepared a meal of lamb and the haricots verts that Master Hastings likes so much."

"That would be fine, Kreacher,". Severus managed to croak. He was still recovering from the intense orgasm, waiting for his heart to stop hammering. 

No sooner had the elf left than he popped up again. Another wink, and thanks to the wonders of elf magic, the table was set with everything necessary for an elegant meal, even to the bottle of elven wine, chilling in the cooler.

Severus took a moment to insure that they had everything they needed and then dismissed the elf. He got up naked from the bed and sat down to eat. Hastings, still buried in the paper, joined him after.

Severus served each of them from the table and poured their wine. Hastings looked up from his paper just long enough to take the wine glass from his hand.

"Thanks, dear," he muttered and looked Severus in the eye for the time it took to swallow one sip of his red wine. He mixed his beans into the buttery potatoes and then rededicated himself to his reading.

Severus was content to watch his beloved.as he took turns eating and staring at his newspaper. Unconsciously he took in the headlines that were printed in bold letters, frowning as the meaning began to penetrate his brain.

WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE HERO OF THE WIZARDING WORLD? FOR DAYS THERE HAS BEEN NO TRACE OF HARRY JAMES POTTER. AS OUR READERS KNOW IT'S BEEN SPLITSVILLE FOR THE HERO AND SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE EVERY SINCE HARRY CAUGHT THE EYE OF A CERTAIN QUIDDITCH PLAYER. ONLY ONE QUESTION REMAINS. IF HARRY WAS THE ONE TO LEAVE, WHY IS HE HIDING? COULD THEIR BE SOMETHING WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT HIS NEW BOYFRIEND? IS HE MARRIED, PERHAPS? COULD HARRY POTTER BE A HOMEWRECKER? WE'RE STANDING BY, DEAR READERS, AND YOU WILL BE THE FIRST TO KNOW.

IN OTHER NEWS, THERE HAS BEEN A SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT IN....

Severus couldn't make out any more of the page; Terrence stuck a hand between him and the paper. When Severus made a grab for it, Terrence just pulled it away with a malicious smile.

"Do you really want to read the latest scandal about your ex-lover?" He drawled and handed him back the Daily Prophet. "You can't put anything past that boy, can you?"

Severus had to flinch.

"Harry would never get involved with a married man. He's not that person. He would never hurt someone on purpose in that way."

"In contrast to me, I suppose you mean," Terrence added in a cold voice. "You defend Potter much too much. Should I take this little speech to mean you want him back?" He provoked.

"That's nonsense and you know it." Severus hastened to reassure his boyfriend. "After the sex we just had how can you doubt my feelings for you?" 

Severus laid his hand on Terrence's knee and stroked slowly higher.

* * * * *

It was a very erotic scene that Kreacher walked in on when he returned to clear the table. The house elf stood watching in embarrassment as Master Snape took Master Hasting's member in his hand, stroking him off while he fed him off his plate and gave him little sips from his wine glass. Naturally they spilled a lot of the red stuff as Master Hastings was unable to concentrate on swallowing.

Kreacher had to be a party to the next part where Master Snape bent over and licked the wine where it ran off Master Hastings' chest.

It took a while before Kreacher noticed that Master Hastings was observing him. Disgusted, he wanted to get out of there, and yet he felt compelled by the severe gaze to stay.

Hastings found it wonderfully arousing to feel Severus' all over him while the confused elf was forced to look on. 

Kreacher knew he had to obey, even if Hastings hadn't told him explicitly. His Master Snape had commanded him to obey all of Hastings' orders as if they were his own. Master Hastings would never hesitate to beat him if he didn't like Kreacher's behavior. Kreacher had learned that fast enough. There was nothing he could do but watch as Hastings' came once again in Master Snape's mouth.

Only when he'd finished taking care to swallow Master Hastings' spunk, did Master Snape turn a dark look to the side where Kreacher was.

With a plop, Kreacher disappeared, promising himself he would never appear uninvited in any room again where there were two adults. He stood at the sink, hands shaking, trying to get himself under control.

His enthusiasm for Master Hastings had long since vanished. The brutal blows that he was forced to endure whenever Master Snape was away from home, the contempt he was made to feel every day were awful, but only, he felt, what he deserved for his betrayal. He had earned this punishment for all the wrong he'd dared to do.

Almost from the moment that Harry Potter disappeared fromSpinner's End the elf had realized that whatever fussing and faults his former master might have shown, he was the true master. Kreacher had let himself be blinded by his deep seated hatred for Sirius Black, projecting all of his anger and contempt in the most inexcusable way on this off shoot of the Black tree, Harry James Potter, who in the absence of any other heir had come to inherit the estate.

His ill treatment at the hands of Master Hastings was his just punishment for being a bad elf.

Kreacher waited nervously in the kitchen for Master Snape to call him. This time everything was as it should be. Master Hastings lay in bed, fast asleep. Only Master Snape sat up at the table, wrapped in his morning robe, and reading the paper with rapt attention. Severus had laid a silencing spell over the bed, so as not to disturb his friend and he had called Kreacher for the cup of coffee that he always drank in the evenings.

"Is something wrong, Kreacher?" Asked Severus, more friendly than usual.

"No, Master Snape, Kreacher is doing very well. Kreacher is happy that the two masters enjoyed their meal."

The elf felt how he turned red, remembering the scene from before. Embarrassed, he lowered his eyes and looked at his socks which were full of holes and which he could never be parted from nonetheless.

Severus noticed the blush of course, but as he could find neither rhyme nor reason for it, he let it be.

"Thank you; it was delicious." Now he too remembered the erotic meal and smiled at the recollection.

"I will leave Master Snape to his well earned coffee and newspaper," murmured the elf hastily, collecting the dirty dishes together and disappearing with a plop.

Finally, Severus was alone and able to dedicate himself to reading all the news about Harry in the paper.

LORD BLACK BACK IN ENGLAND! It said, awakening Severus' curiosity. Under this heading there was a photo of Sirius standing with Gwaine Robards and Theodor Nott in front of Grimmauld Place. Of course one could only see numbers 10 and 14, as the Black house was still under Fidelius, but Severus knew it was there, just as he knew that Sirius Black had lived there before he moved to Canada. He been in the man's bedroom often enough during their brief affair.

Severus thought he knew why Sirius Black had come back. It was certainly Harry that explained his presence. Harry had a talent for getting himself into messes that he needed help from everyone else to get out of, as Severus knew from his own experience. That had only stopped once they'd become a couple. Severus had always made sure that Harry stayed out of trouble.

He suppressed his guilty conscience; he couldn't help worrying about Harry. A quick and guilty look in Terrence's direction was enough to bring his thoughts back to the here and now. Harry wasn't his problem anymore. He was, Merlin be praised, finally free of Harry Potter. Harry wasn't his anymore. Only Terrence was his now. Terrence was everything he dreamed of, Terrence, not Harry....

One more look in the direction of the bed convinced him of the correctness of his thoughts. And yet he couldn't tear himself from the paper. He had to know what it said. Something buried deep within him began to stir. He felt a longing that pulled him towards Harry, such a strong pull that he almost couldn't bear the pain it brought to his breast.

WE HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY THAT LORD BLACK WAS CALLED IN TO BRING HIS GODSON TO HIS SENSES, SO FAR WITHOUT SUCCESS. WE ALSO CALL ON OUR HERO TO BE REASONABLE. DON'T CRAWL IN A HOLE; STAND BY YOUR MAN! WE HOPE LORD BLACK IS ABLE TO GET YOUNG POTTER TO DO THE RIGHT THING. TILL NEXT TIME, YOUR RITA SKEETER.

Severus had no idea how right Skeeter was this time. Sirius really was making every effort to bring his godson to his senses.

Having read the thing to the end, Severus stood up and sighed. He brushed his teeth and lay next to Terrence where he lay quietly snoring, snuggling up to him there and pulling up the covers. Tenderly, Severus put his arm around his loved one, feeling engulfed in the man's bewitching scent. Nothing else mattered anymore. He breathed deep and drifted into a sated and restful sleep.

Everything that was important was in this bed. Terrence was his great love, not Harry! Why then did his heart hurt so much and his breath feel so heavy


	11. Out of the Ashes

Slowly, Harry dragged himself from his filthy sofa and forced himself to go to the kitchen. He had a photo of Severus he always carried with him and, sadly, he looked at it.

He'd been holed up at Grimmauld Place for weeks now, waiting for a sign that the nightmare was over and he could wake up, all the while listening in vain for a signal from his lover. He had never given up hope that one day he would open the door to find Severus there, explaining that it had all been a huge misunderstanding. Harry sat and waited all day long. But nothing ever happened. Severus never showed up and Harry never heard from him.

Just now had been one of those times when he couldn't stand it any more and the tears had come. Gulping and wailing, he had screamed out his soul's suffering. However, it hadn't helped bring forth any of the pain from where it lodged inside him.

 

Crying only shifted the wretched burden from his heart for a little while. It allowed him to forget for an hour or two, long enough to drift into an exhausted sleep.

At least it had. Recently that option had failed.

He couldn't shed the tears any more. He lacked the strength to rage and scream. Instead he spent hours staring at this person he loved, or rather the pictures of him that could be found on the mantel in the library.

Every moment the figures in the magical photos moved, he lived as if it were real and drank the moments down like a drunkard. For hours at a time, he spoke with Severus and Severus smiled at him from the photos, even if he never gave an answer.

And then there were the moments like this one, where, driven to despair, he slammed the picture down and opened another bottle of firewhiskey.

Severus' image was always silent, and that was what got him putting away yet more of the golden good stuff.

It was just as well his godfather had left him such a good cellar. He was kept in supplies without having to leave the house.

A few days ago, the food had run out. A lot of it had spoiled because he'd forgotten to put the preserving charm on and he hadn't gone shopping to replace it. Food didn't factor into his plans. It had been a long time since he'd felt hungry.

Now and then he thought he'd heard a rattling and clattering about the place somewhere and sometimes he even imagined he heard voices calling him...but it passed. He'd didn't care about it. He didn't care about anything.

He shuffled and staggered his way to the kitchen and drank a glass of water. The rough taste of his own mouth disgusted him and reminded him how long it had been since he'd washed. Harry could take a lot of things, but this penetrating smell that rose off him wasn't one of them. Even as far gone as he was, he found the stink of his sweat revolting. Suddenly inspired, he decided today was the day he would start showering again. Maybe it would improve matters. And Severus might come by today. He should at least make an effort to look good.

The minute he got under the stream of water he felt his life force return. He turned the tap to cold to clear his head, shivering as the icy water pierced his back with a thousand needle-like points.

After a good long while spent shuddering and letting his lips go blue he really did feel better. Turning the water to a nice warm temperature, he soaped himself up and let his thoughts wander. Of course his thoughts had only one theme...Severus.

His wet skin, the foam that he cleansed from his body, all of his senses tuned to this point along with all of his sensitivity and all of his longing. He felt himself get hard and couldn't help himself. He had to touch himself to give himself some kind of relief.

He hated himself for it. He hated his weakness. He hated his body and he hated the good feeling he got, stimulating his penis faster and faster to bring the orgasm on. The movement of his hand, rubbing, got wilder and he had to brace his free hand on the shower wall. Bent over in his lust, grunting, he pushed his erection through his fist, while tears he'd thought to have finished shedding long since coursed down his cheeks.

He cried out and swallowed it down again and hammered his fist on the wall in his fury. The other hand was still moving faster and faster and he could feel his knees begin to buckle. At last it was enough and the orgasm he called for began to rise up from deep inside. Harry felt it coming with all of his senses. One or two more pumps and he was spilling in spurts into his fist. His legs couldn't hold him any longer and he collapsed in a heap under the shower. He'd used the last of his strength. He just couldn't any more.

As he was falling, it so happened that his shoulder caught the tap and, without meaning to, he turned the water on far too hot. He cried in pain and yet he couldn't stir himself to change anything. He just didn't have the strength.

His curse scars burned like fire where the scalding stream found them. The healer had told him they wouldn't tolerate any heat, that he should be careful not to bathe in very hot water

The pains pounded, overflowed and lost themselves in his larger thoughts. Slowly he sank out of consciousness and lost himself in forgetting. His body slept and he knew no more except for the faces of his parents. They seemed to be smiling sadly down at him.

"Mum! Dad! What are you doing here?"

* * *

While Harry was talking with his parents, Sirius arrived at the gates of Grimmauld Place. He ignored the flashing lights of the reporters' cameras, only turning to make certain that Gwaine and Theodore were behind him. There was no way they could find the entrance with out him. He was the only one who could get through the Fidelius. 

Once they were all there in front of the house, Siuris ran up to the top of the steps, calling for the rest to follow him. In this way, they thwarted the herd of reporters who found themselves staring at nothing at all.

Once he was certain that only the three of them were inside the house's cordon of invisibility, he placed his hand on the knob and attempted to enter. To his relief, the door opened with no problem. Harry had not changed the magic on it.

"Harry," Sirius callled out, as he stepped in before the Aurors.

There was garbage everywhere and a stink like a beast. They couldn't move without stepping on empty liquor bottles or getting tangled in filthy articles of clothing left to lie where they fell. The noise they made as they stumbled towards the library, attracted the attention of Walpurga, of course, and she lifted her piercing voice as they approached the portrait.

"Just be quiet, mother," Severus called, automatically pulling the cover over her that was kept on the second floor landing for that purpose. He muffled voice could still be heard berating and cursing her son for a while before there was quiet again.

"May I introduce," Sirius pointed sardonically to the wrapped up painting, "my much loved, but, alas not very quiet mother."

"I am so sorry," Theo tried a joke, "Now at least I know why you gave your title over to Harry and moved to Canada."

Gwaine smirked up at the portrait.

"I'm astonished that she didn't scream at all of us when we were here helping Harry settle in. You couldn't hear a pin drop then."

He stared at the dust and dirt that Harry had let accumulate again and added, "Though it looks like we could have saved ourselves the trouble."

"These days Walpurga Black only goes on a tear when I'm one of the party. She likes Harry and she likes Harry's friends, since Regulus- my younger brother, you know, and her favorite...at any rate, thanks to Harry she knows that Regulus stood on the right side in the end. There were many sacrified in this war and he was one."

"Now that Harry's explained the truth about Regulus role in the war, she controls herself and most of the time only shows her sweet side. I'm the one that makes her forget her manners. She's never forgiven me for surviving when my brother died."

"Harry!" Sirius tried again in the next room. But here,too, there was no answer. 

He led the Aurors to the kitchen which looked no better than the rest of the house. Against his better judgement, Sirius called for Kreacher, who, however did not appear.

"Damn it, it's Kreacher's job to keep order around here. Where is that elf when you need him?....Kreacher..."

"Harry cast the elf off." Theo's voice was uncertain. 

"He did what? Is the boy crazy? That elf knows too much to just let him go like that! What was that idiot thinking?"

"I don't think Harry was in any state to think clearly when he cut that awful creature loose."

"That was no excuse," thundered Sirius, very severe for him. He quickly spelled the kitchen clean and had the Aurors sit down. "I'll look around upstairs. You wait down here while I'm gone. I don't want to intrude on his privacy more than necessary. Maybe he's just asleep and hasn't heard us come in."

With a nod to the Aurors, Sirius left the kitchen and clomped quickly up the stairs and knocked on Harry's bedroom door.

No answer. Quietly, he walked in, looking automatically at the bed. There were tangled piles of dirty laundry all over it, but no Harry. He did hear the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. Figuring that his godson was taking a shower, he waited for a moment for him to be ready to come out. After a little while, he was overcome by a strange feeling and knocked on the door.

"Harry!" He called, panicking as there was no answer. With a sinking feeling in his gut, Sirius tried to open the door. It didn't work. Harry had locked it, or rather, he had bolted it shut with magic. "Harry! Goddamnit. Open this door or I'm coming in."

Gwaine and Theo who had rushed to Sirius' side when they heard him shouting, got here just in time to stop him from kicking in the door.

"Wait. It will be much faster with a simple Alhamora."

Finally, the door stood open and Sirius pushed past the Aurors into the bathroom. Steam obscured his vision. Careful not to slip on the damp floor, he approached the shower stall.

There on the tiled floor lay Harry. Motionless. As fast as he could, Sirius turned the water off and pulled his godson out of there. 

Gwain knelt next to Sirius and felt for Harry's pulse, while Sirius tried to wake him up.

"Call for a healer, Theodore! Quickly!"

Gently as they could, they laid Harry on his bed to wait for Heiler Le Vavre. A few short moments later he stepped out of the floo.

"The young man has severe burns," he diagnosed even before he finished the body wide scan of Harry's injuries. He immediately started to apply the scalded areas with Murtlap essence. "It's a good thing you found him in time. If Mr. Potter had lain under that hot water much longer, he would have had to be hospitalized." The healer finished the treatment and handed Sirius the salve. "Three times a day for a week and he'll be as good as new." A quick goodbye in the direction of the Aurors and they were all left alone with Harry, who was still unconscious, although now, hopefully in a healing sleep.

While Sirius sat vigil beside Harry's bed, Gwaine sent Theo out to the shops, taking care himself of cleaning the kitchen and living room. The rest of the house, he didn't touch. As soon as he was done, he sent one of the house owls to Hermione. She shouldn't have to worry a moment longer. 

Gwaine knew that the Weasley couple would show up sooner or later. It wan't long before Pansy, Hermione and Ron all appeared one after the other in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place. Gwaine had set the floo to allow Harry's friends access.

Theo arrived with the groceries just as Gwaine was finishing his explanation. Just to pass the time, he started on a meal with what he'd brought; it made a break from worrying about Harry, anyhow.

"And we can't even do that right. Cooking was always Harry's job," Ron said, while he awkwardly attempted to dress and toss the salad. Even so, Sirius still hadn't appeared by the time the food stood ready on the table.

Hermione knocked gently on the bedroom door, walking in at the almost inaudible, "Enter,"

"How is he doing?" She asked, taking the chair that was next to Sirius's.

"The same," came the broken sounding answer.

Sirius was confounded. He had known that Harry wasn't doing well, but a suicide attempt! Harry would never let himself be driven to that. He was certain. But the facts spoke differently. Sirius didn't know what to think of Harry now.

"Why don't you go into the kitchen and eat something? I'll stay here by Harry and guard his sleep."

"I'm not hungry, Hermione. And besides, I don't want to leave him alone."

"Sirus!" Hermione tried to convince the stubborn man. "Harry will need you when he's awake. He needs you at your full strength. And you can only be at full strength if you eat and sleep and don't worry yourself sick."

Although Sirius wanted to stay at Harry's side, he saw that Hermione had a point. He admitted as much with a wan smile, adding as he left.

"And you'll call me when he wakes? I want to be there when he opens his eyes."

"Of course, Sirius, don't worry. I'll send for you the moment he makes a peep."

* * *

It was a good long while before Harry opened his eyes. Sirius had long since returned to his side when, in the middle of the night, he woke up and groaning, came to his senses. Sirius was immediately wide awake.

They were alone. Hermione and Ron had gone home back to their children and Theo, Pansy and Gwaine, too, had left after a visit with Harry. They would be back in the morning.

"Harry!" Sirius whispered so as not to startle him. "It's me, Sirius."

"Siri...What are you doing here?"

Harry was not yet fully there and couldn't remember the events of the day before.

"We found you under the shower. Don't you remember? The water was on way too hot."

Harry reached through his thoughts, trying to remember. There were the photos. There was Severus everywhere...Severus and firewhiskey. The two things swirled around his head.

Sirius could feel the fear now, of how close he came to losing Harry and he felt an unnatural anger building up.

"Why in God's name would you do something like this to yourself?" He screamed, louder than he'd meant to and he looked his godson right in the eyes.

Harry's frightfully emaciated figure, the pale and bloodless face made him unspeakably sad. Sad and angry.

"What were you thinking? Just what have you been doing to yourself? Why didn't you call me for help before? I would have come right away and stood by you." Sirius grew ever louder as he was talking to Harry and he shouted the last words at the weak figure that he saw before him that so recently had been his godson, full of the zest for life and who now looked back at him in confusion with his beautiful green eyes.

"What are you going on about? You think I tried to kill myself? I would never do something like that to you or to my friends."

Sirius heard the genuine confusion in Harry's voice and he believed him. He had always known that such an act was not Harry's way. Sirius tried to get his emotions under control. He breathed deeply in and out before he asked the next question.

"Can you remember what happened?"


	12. Like a Phoenix from the Ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is one place here where I really wasn't sure what was meant by the German. It was the part where Ron describes what George says when he lends him some money. Please forgive my guess!

"Damn it all, Terrence. I expressly forbade you to bring Harry Potter into this. So why have you taken it on yourself to jeopardize our plan?" 

Narcissa Malfoy was taking coffee with her old friend from preschool. The cup stood between them, the fine aroma wafting up. "It was absolutely necessary that Draco be placed in prison. Murdering Harry Potter was not supposed to be part of it...You are lucky that Draco had the wherewithal to make the best of the situation. To say nothing of what would have happened if things had gone wrong and Draco had NOT landed in Azkaban."

"The opportunity arose, Narcissa. I never planned for it to happen, if that's what you think. It's just that once he was right there in front of me, trying to use a binding hex on me, I lost control and I cursed him back with dark magic."

Narcissa watched with an insincere smile, as Hastings tried to explain away his unauthorized activities.

"Do you know what I think, my dear?" Narcissa stalked up to the man and stroked one of her tapered fingers over his chest. "I think you've let yourself get caught up in your own game. I think you smelled blood once Severus let you get a peek into his bank account. I think you wanted to be rid of Potter so that you wouldn't have keep an illusion going all the time. You want Snape for yourself. That is to say you covet his wealth, his regard and perhaps also his virility."

Terrence looked at this woman he had known and respected for many years and felt his indignation rise.

"Snape can be controlled only with great effort. I see it every day, every time his starts to look under the blinkers. I can feel his confusion whenever he holds something in his hands that belongs to the hero of the magical world. I have no idea how I am supposed to keep him under control much longer when his thoughts are so strongly focused on Potter. Potter is a real danger to our plan. If you insist that I keep him alive, everything could easily fail. You shouldn't underestimate Potter, Narcissa. It would be a grave error."

Terrence rubbed his forehead nervously. "From what I understand, Snape has been looking after the hero, Potter, keeping him safe for years. That makes it hard, even for a master of mental manipulation such as myself to maintain the illusion."

Narcissa stood on her tiptoes and kissed Terrence on the nose and then sat down, turning back to her coffee. She sipped a little; it had gotten cold. She made a face, placed the cup in the saucer and looked her friend from preschool days earnestly in the eyes.

"We agreed that you would have your fun with the man first, but that in the end he would have to die. Can I count on you to hold to that agreement?"

"You know I stand with you, always. My feelings for Severus do not go so deep that I cannot bear to part with him. I have everything under control. Trust me!"

Hastings looked searchingly at his friend. "Why do you find it necessary to spare Potter? I mean he has no especial interest in you, Lucius or your son. He doesn't care about you."

"Call it a life debt, if you like. The fact is that Potter pulled my fat from the fire. Without him I would not be in a position to discuss little details like these. Potter saved me and so decency demands that I fulfill the life debt first before I wash my hands of him."

Hastings smiled. "The idiot is completely destroyed. I managed to to bind Severus so powerfully to me that he did more than let Potter go. He wounded him to the core and openly defamed him....I never would have thought it would be so easy to push Potter out. It's a little disappointing how little the mighty hero was able to do about it once his replacement turned up at the door." Hastings was smirking now. "In any case, I was astonished to see him still alive after I hit him. My dark curse must have just brushed him by. Otherwise he would not have survived."

"You forget whom you were trying to kill. Harry James POtter is the only wizard who ever survived the killing curse. Twice he has withstood it and twice he has won the day. He was able to destroy Voldemort. You know how strong the dark Lord was. I don't need to tell you how much power it took to do something like that. So don't give me these specious excuses. You wanted to kill Potter and you failed. Period."

Narcissa turned an icy stare on the man across from her. "In the future, you will stick exactly to the plan. Let me worry about Potter and you take care of Snape. The man is a traitor you can make a corpse of once you don't need him anymore. As far as that goes you have my complete support. But POtter you leave to me. Understood!"

"Just as you like, my dear! But why so much hatred for Snape? Surely it's not still those youthful peccadillos from the old days?" Terrence bore witness as the normally selfpossessed woman lost countenance.

"He tried to bring Lucius to his side through means that I can't bring myself to speak of."

"But he didn't succeed, so why the whole drama?"

"Didn't succeed!" Cried Narcissa in an unnaturally high voice. "That's the official version. It took all of my ability to make Lucius forget. I caught the two of them in flagranti right after Lucius had asked my parents for my hand. I had to stand there and watch while Severus rammed his penis in my Lucius. Can you imagine how I felt?"

Although Terrence wanted to comfort his friend, he was quite fascinated with the picture of Lucius, of all people, letting Severus seduce him that way. He couldn't imagine the blonde man so devoted. The man was just too proud.

"What did you do so that he married you after that?"

"I took his memories of Severus from him. At least the ones that touched on their romance. And I did the same to Snape....I can't tell you how hard it was to see that they remained friends and Lucius asked him to be our son's godfather. Can you imagine how much strength it required to keep face in front of all the death eaters, to play the stupid fucking game? You will destroy Snape for me. You owe me that. Do you understand?"

The look she gave the man across from her could kill.

* * * * 

 

"Do you want to go to Winkel Alley? I haven't been for years and I'm looking forward to seeing this joke shop of Ron and George's you've told me so much about."

 

Sirius made sure to keep his voice enthusiastic as he tried to cajole his godson out of his melancholic mood. Since his arrival this was what he'd done, feeding Harry up and trying to boost his confidence.

Thanks to him, Harry now took his potion regularly even if the wretched curse scars still wouldn't heal properly. He made sure there were regular meals, too, that did their part to make sure that Harry got better. And always he took care to look behind Harry's facade at the wounded young man who had been so badly used. As soon as he was sure that Harry was getting over Severus he was going to pay that creep a visit. He had been looking forward to it, in fact, ever since he hauled his godson out of Grimmauld Place.

"Why do you want to go to Winkel Alley today? It's pouring rain. Not exactly the best weather for shopping in case you didn't notice," said Harry in a dead voice as he looked up from the obligatory cup of coffee and newspaper that always served him for breakfast.

"That is exactly why we need to go today. You've hidden in the house long enough. In this crap weather there are certain to be no reporters to come swarming and it will keep any one else who's out shopping in line as well. In other words, it's a perfect time for us to get a little fresh air. So get up and put something decent on. I can't stand to see you in those saggy joggers another second."

It wasn't long before Harry and Siuris stood in the yard behind The Leaky Cauldron. Sirius held his breath as Harry held his wand to the stones touching them in the right order so that they opened the way to Winkel Alley.

It was just as Sirius predicted. The Alley was almost empty. Only the odd wizard or witch passed by, hurrying to get into the shops as quickly as possible. No one gave them a second glance. They were able to get to the joke shop without a hitch and walked right in.

Sirius's eyes grew wide as he took in this child's paradise. He felt transported back to his own schooldays, when he'd played pranks on his teachers and school mates with just these kind of tricks. He remembered all the lines he'd written and all the detentions he'd sat together with James because they always went overboard.

"Harry! Sirius! So glad you finally made it! 

George stood on the counter, laughing, his eyes lit with welcome. "We've had those little fighter jets you ordered lying around for weeks now. Wait a minute and I'll fetch them for you."

George turned to the door that led to the back of the store, where his brother was filling out orders. "Ron! Come here! We've got company!"

"Do you want the tour?" He added to Sirius, seeing with what big eyes he was surveying the merchandise.

"Absolutely, George. I can't believe the selection you've got here. You didn't invent everything yourself, did you?"

"No, Merlin forbid! We've imported a lot of it, though. We were lucky to escape the decline in profits most of the other stores suffered during the war. Thanks to our line of products that protect against black magic and dark curses, we actually did pretty well, to be honest. All that fear made money for us."

"After the war, Ron and I invested the money in imports. Since then we've been offering products from all over the world. Of course we still carry some joke items, but our core market are quite serious devices that we supply to the Aurors over at the ministry and to some governments. The novelty stuff is a happy side line, our hobby so to speak."

George spoke without pause as he led his noble guest through the various departments. Meanwhile, Ron approached Harry and greeted his friend with concern.

Even though Harry made an effort when he spoke, it was easy to see from the look of him that he didn't feel very well. The whole situation felt a little surreal.

"Are you getting enough sleep?" The dark circles under Harry's eyes were impossible to miss.

"I'm fine, mostly, Ron, thanks. Last night I just had some bad dreams and they kept me awake."

Ron nodded with understanding and then came straight to the point.

"Has Snape been in touch?"

"No," The answer came too fast and too soft, a barrier to further questions. "I don't want to talk about it. Why don't you show me your new line of minimuffs? I'm thinking about sending Teddy one."

"Are you still not allowed to see him?"

"I haven't tried. When he's old enough and decides that he wants to see me I won't say no. But I won't force him. Too much time has gone by since I first promised Remus I'd look after him. I'll just have to be satisfied with caring for him from afar and making sure he and his grandmother don't want for anything. That's how I'll have to fulfill my obligation."

"I'm sorry Harry! I'd always hoped that Andromeda would give in sooner or later."

"It's alright the way it is. Teddy is fine. I'm fine. What else should I expect from life? I'd rather hear about you and Hermione. Has the nausea gotten under control or does she need a potion prescription?"

Ron's eyes lit with happiness as he began to talk about his family. That was the intention. Harry knew his friend and he knew that when there was an opportunity to talk about his nearest and dearest, he could always be distracted.

"Hermione's doing fabulous and as far as we can tell about the baby, she is too."

"She? So you know it's a girl now?"

"Yes. We had to find out. We're so proud. But there's something else I meant to tell you. The property next to Pansy and Theo is for sale and we've bought it. So there will be plenty of room when the little one comes."

"I'm so glad for you! But are you taking on too much with such a big purchase? I can help you out if you need... not that I think..."

"Not necessary, Harry. George gave us a hand. He invested the money from selling somebody a bridge, as he puts it. Of course, buying the house is going to eat up my pay check for the next decade, but it's worth it. It's in good shape. Just wait till you see it."

"I'm sure I'll like it." Harry hugged his friend. "I'm really happy for you. Hopefully the kitchen is just as good as the one you have now. I mean I wouldn't want to work in a poorly appointed kitchen when I'm over there cooking for you all, now, would I?"

The afternoon was pleasant, despite Harry's preoccupation. They chatted a good long while, ate dinner together and agreed, before apparating home, to start having a men's night out on Friday's again with Robard and Nott.

Harry was even looking forward to it. He'd lingered far too long in his misery. It was time to begin a new life.

*****

"Should I take the black cloak or the burgundy one?" Sirius stood in front of the mirror in his room and observed himself critically. Harry, who was dressed simply in jeans and a white shirt, couldn't understand what his godfather was making a fuss over.

"We're just going to a club, Sirius. It doesn't matter if it's red or black. It's dark in there and all colors look the same."

"You're a philistine, Harry. Just because one can't see it for the moment, doesn't mean that there is no value in taking care of one's outerwear. You never know what situation one might find oneself in."

Harry shook his head at the display of vanity. Even if his godfather had given up his title years before, he couldn't escape his heritage. His whole bearing gave proof that he had enjoyed a highly privileged upbringing. He may have fought against it in his youth, but now Sirius Black exuded a natural air of authority.

Harry felt a little uncertain, himself, next to this urbane man. He was glad when his friends met them. They were dressed like him. Only Robards wore a cloak like Sirius.

Before they left, Harry stood in the library before the pictures of Severus and gently stroked his hand over the image there. Then he stepped back, squared his shoulders and walked resolutely back to his friends. He would have fun tonight and strike Severus from his thoughts.

He took a handful of floopowder, threw it in the flames and called out loudly and clearly the name of the place where he stood to have a good time.

"Chester...Whittington Garden....Let the fun begin."


	13. Mr. Mystery Man

The trip by floo flashed by and Harry landed safely at Chesters. The club was a central meeting point for wizards who wanted to let loose a little and enjoy London's nightlife. It belonged to a good friend of Sirius's, Lord Carrington, the scion of a once impoverished noble house that had been driven by a need for money to open Chesters decades before. Since then their success with the place had allowed them to reclaim their fortune and more besides.

Edward Carrington had been at Hogwarts at the same time as Harry's parents. Unlike, James or Sirius, the man was always a model student. He might have been expected to like Remus, who was also quiet and well behaved, but actually he was a good friend to all the Marauders, even covering for them with a handy lie when McGonagall suspected them of some mischief or the other. Of course, the good woman was almost always right, but thanks to Edward, they usually got away with it.

Their friendship lasted through the war. They didn't see each other often, but whenever they got together it didn't take long before they were just as close as ever. And so it was today.

While Sirius was busy catching up, chatting about everything under the sun, an attractive young woman led them to a VIP lounge. The attendant, a long-legged blonde in skimpy clothes, treated them very well, serving them all drinks with a charming smile.

Sirius laughed at the looks on Ron Theo's and Robards' faces, as their jaws dropped looking around them. George, though, seemed more relaxed than he had a few hours before. Sirius didn't know if George was gay, married or taken. It didn't matter either way. That was exactly why he had decided on Edward's place. There everyone was treated the same, although the club was understood to cater to same sex couples.

"Hey what are you all staring at? We're here to cheer Harry up, right? Well that means we needed to go some place where there are good looking men. But don't worry. You straight guys are bound to see something you like, too. Edward's club is open to everybody, whether you like men or women. And you don't have to be looking to meet anyone, either. If your not interested, people will leave you alone. So relax and enjoy yourselves. No one's saying you have to cheat on your wives. I just want Harry to appreciate that there are a lot more fish in the sea."

"OI! I'm standing right here. I don't need your help making new special friends." Harry didn't know if he was more angry or embarrassed that his godfather had dragged him to this place so that he could find a new man.

Or should he feel grateful? Harry couldn't make up his mind. He took a slug of whiskey. Harry knew he should leave the whiskey alone, since alcohol didn't mix so well with his healing potion, but one wouldn't hurt. Before long he was looking at the bottom of his glass. And he was fine.

Toasting his friends, he let himself be carried away with the good mood of the place and he found he was enjoying his respite to the fullest.

The later it got, the more he relaxed. And even though he'd told himself he'd stop at one whiskey, there were a few more drinks in there. At some point he found himself standing at the bar with a pretty young man who was making obvious cow eyes at him. Harry could tell Frank wasn't looking him in the eyes because he kept looking at his lightening bold scar on his forehead instead. But today he really didn't mind all that much. If for once his status as the hero of the wizarding world gave him an advantage, he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. It wasn't like he was going to marry Frank. He had something else in mind for his conquest,

When a slow song started up, Harry pulled the guy to the floor.

"Dance with me, Frank. I want to feel your body pressed against mine," he whispered in a low, erotic tone, looking Frank straight in the eyes. Frank didn't have to be asked twice. He responded to Harry's obvious invitation, touching and stroking and finally reaching Harry's bum where his vicious squeeze released a groan from the hero.

They swayed to the music, nibbling on each other's ears, sharing their hot breath. Frank's hands wandered all over Harry's body, until they found their purchase, shamelessly, on the bulge in his trousers, where no one could miss it. Harry buried his head in Frank's neck and moaned loudly. Fortunately, the loud music swallowed the sounds they were making.

"Do you really think this outing was such a good idea?" Ron indicated the dancing pair and scratched his head.

"My goodness, Ron. I didn't think a married man such as yourself would be such a prude. Harry has to play around a bit to get over Severus. I thought I made it clear that something hot and heavy would be involved."

"I'm not being prudish. I just know Harry, when he's sober, is not one to pull random guys. I'm worried about him.

"How do you know that?" Theo interrupted Ron's thoughts. "For years Harry's been interested in no one but Severus. We're not kids anymore. Maybe a no-strings-attached thing is what he needs right now to get out from under the pain.

Ron watched his friend dance for a while, considering this point. 

"Do they have do that where everyone can see?" He asked, pointing, appalled, to where the two men were snogging wildly. "Just think of the paparazzi. If there are any here, Harry is toast."

Gwaine understood the problem and checked the place over.

"I don't think the press is here today, but I'll warn Harry that he needs to be a little more discrete."

The head Auror found he attracted a bit of attention as he walked on to the dance floor. It was embarrassing, and - at his age- not a little flattering. If he had been hoping to pull, he would have had good odds of success, but he loved his wife and wasn't about to cheat on her. He smiled a little awkwardly and shook his head at all the offers he accumulated as he made his way across the crowded hall.

Harry was busy, as he had been for a while now, sticking his tongue down his partner's throat, and didn't notice his boss's arrival. 

"Harry! Do you think you could let your friend go for a moment and listen...Harry...Look at me. This is important."

Harry was slow to open his heavy lidded eyes, but when he looked at Robards his gaze was clear. "Sorry to interrupt, but we're having concerns about the press. Perhaps you could find a way to be a little more discrete, only as a precaution,..."

"Oh well, the press," slurred Harry, who was not entirely sober. "The press writes what they want, anyway. But you're right. A little time alone is exactly what I need right now."

He leaned over his partner and whispered something in his ear before licking it obscenely all around the rim. Frank shuddered, nodded his agreement and vanished almost immediately from sight, as Harry towed him off the dance floor.

"I'm sure you'll excuse me, Gwaine. You understand..."

Gwaine stood there in shock as Harry led the young man in the direction of the toilets. Of all the things he'd never thought of!.

"So, did Harry listen to you?" Sirius couldn't hold back his laugh, watching Gwaine, obviously still in shock, lowering himself into his chair.

"Where did he disappear to?" Asked Ron, confused that he couldn't find his friend on the dance floor.

Gwaine covered his face with his hands. 

"Believe me, you don't want to know. I wouldn't go to the loo right now if I were you, though, unless you want to catch them in the act. It would be really embarrassing for at least one of you."

"I'm sure you're exaggerating," Ron just couldn't believe Harry wanted to have sex in a public toilet. He was far too reserved for that. He decided to leave him alone for the next half hour, though, just in case.

Gwaine had not exaggerated. Harry was indeed having it off with Frank in the men's toilet. Frank had been all prepared, even to the little bottle of lubricant he'd brought, the one that Harry was currently spreading over his fingers as he got down to the business of stretching Frank's entrance.

They both groaned and Frank hissed when he hit the prostate.

"Ah fuck! That feels so good," choked Frank, pushing hard against the wall so that he could take the fingers in deeper.

"You want to find out if I can make you scream?" Harry whispered. He removed his fingers. In a few fluid motions he rolled on a condom and guided his cock to where his fingers had just been. He stroked his erection a few times and then slowly pushed in.

It felt very strange to stick his cock in this tight narrow place. With Severus he had mostly been on the receiving end. But he was enjoying the change of pace. Besides which, he didn't really want to offer his arse up to a perfect stranger. He'd made sure to use a condom, too. With Severus, of course, he'd had unprotected sex for years, since he always believed he was faithful.

Harry pushed these thoughts to the side and concentrated on Frank. He seemed happy with what he was getting. Who could doubt it the way he was panting? He wasn't going to last long now, not with the way Harry kept hitting his sweet spot. And neither would Harry. He had gone too long alone to want to draw the lovemaking out, even if he could have stopped himself.

Plunging into this tightness, the friction up and down from all sides of his partner's inner walls...it all overwhelmed his senses, and quickly brought him to the edge. Harry reached between Franks legs and took Frank's penis in his fist, thumbing the drops of precum over the head, while he pounded him from behind into his welcoming hole until Frank screamed.

They were getting close now. He pressed his left hand into Frank's back, pushing so the man had to cling with all his might to the toilet stall. Harry came first, with a grunt as he shot the man's hole full. He was shuddering, breathing hard as his come pulsed out on and on. It had been too long since he'd had known this pleasure.

Frank took a few seconds more, enjoying the hand that alternately pumped and stroked his length, until he too spurted out his load, his thighs collapsing immediately after, and his head banging into the wall.

Harry massaged the last bit from Frank's spent organ and then, once he'd discretely disposed of the condom, turned him around for a long languorous kiss. Slowly, he licked the come from his fingers, kissing Frank again so that he could share the flavor.

"You taste so good Frank. I'm glad it was you I saw today and I would love to see you again. You know, nothing serious. Just to have a good time."

Frank sucked one of Harry's fingers into his mouth with obvious relish, tasting himself, before letting it go in favor of Harry's mouth. The kiss quickly deepened.

"I would like that Harry," he said, out of breath again as they broke the kiss. "You can find me at Chesters every Thursday and Friday."

A few quick kisses later, Harry cleaned them off with his wand, removed the tell tale marks from the walls of the toilet and sailed back to his friends, who did their best to act as if nothing had happened without much success, as they were all clearly embarrassed.

Harry's satisfied grin spoke volumes.

* * * * *

"So why don't you tell us how yesterday went?" Hermione and Pansy were sitting in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place looking around at everyone. The men were all there in body, but the expressions on their faces betrayed their condition. There must have been rivers of alcohol the night before.

"Please, Hermione. Not before we have some coffee and a hangover potion, one of the good ones from Severus." Sirius held his aching head in his hands. Harry, who didn't seem to be feeling any of the same negative effects, answered the women's curious questions.

"It was brilliant, Hermione. At least I had a good time."

Ron choked on his coffee at the double entendre and gave Harry a dirty look.

"Harry, please. I don't think my wife is interested in hearing about how you pulled last night."

"Oh no, don't tell me you met someone and you're not planning on telling us about it. Spill!"

Hermione glared at Ron.

"Officially, of course, I'm not interested in ... you know. But let's face it, Harry getting some action is a lot more exciting for us than your hangover."

Hermione and Pansy clapped their hands with anticipation and leaned into Harry, who had to laugh, holding his hands up.

"Please have mercy on a poor suffering man. I'll tell you all about it...but first, Sirius is right about that hangover potion. I could really use one and I'm sure Theo, George and Ron are in the same boat."

Gwaine turned his head to Harry, surprised not to hear himself mentioned.

"And what about me? You think I don't want one?"

Harry shook his head.

"You restricted yourself to mineral water. Since I've known you've always made sure at least one of us was able to keep an eye on the others." 

Harry gave him a fist bump and Gwaine laughed.

"You know me too well."

"Well I guess I don't want to pressure you and give you a headache or anything." Pansy pretended to sulk. "Here. I thought ahead and brought the hangover potion with me. It's not Severus's but it's better than what you get in the apothecary around the corner. It's left over from my last visit to Nocturne Alley."

"Why were you in Nocturne Alley?" Theo asked, scandalized. He stared shocked at his wife.

"That's not important right now. Right now we want to find out all about Harry's meeting with Mr. Mystery Man, so be quiet and let Harry talk."

Theo gave his wife a hard look, but he didn't say anything. He knew she would tell him everything when they got home. They had no secrets from each other.

Thankfully, he took his potion and drank it down in one swallow. He shook himself as it worked through his body. Did it always have to be so ghastly? Then he laughed as he watched his friends undergo the same reaction. It least it worked. The pounding in the back of his head eased and he found he could concentrate again.

It was obvious that Hermione and Pansy were enjoying watching the men squirm, including their husbands. Like every wife since the dawn of time, each took satisfaction in seeing her man get his just desserts after staying out all night.

"Now my dears, are you feeling better? Can we start breakfast now? Eggs and bacon maybe with a toasted cheese?"

The light green color they all turned showed that this kindness hurt more than any scolding might have. It was a few minutes before the potion had finished soothing their stomachs and the pitiable creatures were ready to face their breakfasts. And then, suddenly, it got quiet.

There was nothing to hear but jaws chewing and it lulled the men into a false complacency. They figured they were in the all clear. Hermione and Pansy, however, had forgotten nothing.

The guys thought they were safe. Breakfast was over, and they were pouring out a last cup of coffee. Only Harry saw the expression on his friend's face and he offered a slightly tortured smile to the group. He knew Hermione and he knew Pansy. He was going to have to describe his experience with Frank.  
"So Harry!" Pansy began in her sweetest voice, "What exactly happened with this Mr. Mystery Man? Do tell."


	14. The realization

"Are you going out again already?"

Sirius gave his godson a slightly reproachful look as he came down the stairs, all ready to go out with a knowing smile plastered on his face.

"Yeah, That band that Edward was so excited about last time is playing at Chesters. It's not be missed under any circumstances. Edwards words, not mine."

"And will Frank be there?"

"Frank who?" Harry had to think for a moment. "Oh him! No, Frank only comes on Tuesdays and Fridays. Anyway, things have gotten a little boring with him if you know what I mean."

Of course Harry knew his godfather was not thrilled with the way he was carrying on, but he didn't care. Bottom line was, he was single and it was his business what he did and what he didn't do. At least until he started work again, which he would be soon.

Next week, he was going to try to take up his old position at the Ministry and then in September he would start teaching his first lecture course in DADA. Despite everything, he was really looking forward to being at Hogwarts again.

"So who's the lucky guy today?" Sirius couldn't quite keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

Harry heard the disapproving tone in the words and reacted furiously.

"What are you getting upset about? You were the one who dragged me to Chesters in the first place. Anyway Blaise isn't just anyone. I've known him since school. So let the two of us have our fun."

"Blaise, is it?" Sirius tried to keep his cool. "Well then I wish you joy. Just remember our agreement. Make sure that the press doesn't catch wind of all your various adventures. Skeeter will rip you a new one is she sees you with so many different partners."

"I really don't care. She can write what she wants. As far as I'm concerned the whole wizarding world can go fuck itself. Anyway she's never been as effective as all that and it's not as if I'm doing anything wrong. I'm just enjoying myself while I don't have any responsibilities...

"Frank was in love with you, Harry!" Sirius interrupted simply, "He told me the last time you met with him. You've hurt him with your behavior. He doesn't deserve that."

"I don't want to hear all this, Sirius. Butt out of my life. I'm grateful, truly, that you came and that you care, but I'm fine now. You can feel free to go back home to Thomas. Really! I know you're longing to get out of here and be with him again, but that doesn't give you the right to dictate my love life."

With this accusation, Harry hurried to the door, calling over his shoulder, "Wish me luck. I have something special planned with Blaise today."

Sirius stood there and shook his head, disturbed at his godson's impossible behavior. It couldn't go on like this. If he would at least settle on one partner, but so far no. He was anxious enough that he floo-called Ron, George and Gwaine. 

If they put their heads together, maybe they could figure out what they could do to make Harry "normal" again.

"We can't do anything!" Gwaine was clear on his standpoint. "Even if we don't like this change in habits, it's still his life. Harry is a grown man and as long as his behavior isn't causing him harm, we can't stop him. 

"I know Harry," said Ron, unruffled, "He'll come to his senses sooner or later. This is his way of showing Severus that he doesn't need him. It can't be anything else. Harry isn't one of these guys who sleeps his way through every bed in a certain circle."

"But Severus doesn't even know what Harry is doing!"

George nodded. 

"Theo is right. As long as Severus doesn't know about Harry's tomcatting, he'll just keep doing it. Maybe it's time to show Severus what's become of Harry."

As far as Sirius was concerned, anything that opened his godson's eyes and brought him back to himself was alright by him. All this sleeping around had to stop.

He'd never imagined it coming to this when he took Harry to his old haunt. He had hoped Harry would find a new relationship, not this sort of harem that the Hero of the Wizarding world now carried around with him everywhere.

*****

Sirius stood for a long time in front of Severus's house in Spinners End and surveyed the garden. Severus was very proud of it. At least that's what it said in the letters that Harry used to send back when the world still spun on its axis. 

Now the garden looked neglected. Most of the flowers and the hedgerows that lined the edge were still in evidence, of course, but the herb garden that was Severus's pride and joy was nothing but an overgrown tangle of weeds.

Sirius knew Severus well and the man would never have let it come to this of his own free will. Even when he was teaching at Hogwarts he had kept a little patch of herbs. Back then he'd dismissed his passion as a little hobby...

Sirius thought back to the time of their affair, to the man he knew then, and came to the conclusion that something was very off. This simply wasn't Severus.

He knocked on the door and waited. It was opened by Kreacher, the old houseelf of the Blacks, who did not speak as he took in what was before him.

"Kreacher!" Greeted Sirius. "I heard you had a new family," he added with a false smile, holding his hands to his chest so he wouldn't loom over the elf.

"Lord Black...you're here...I mean...what a surprise!"

Kreacher was so shocked at the sudden appearance of this person, he couldn't form a coherent sentence. And just what would Mr. Hastings say when he saw Sirius Black?

Unable to move, he stood stock still and stared.

"Politeness demands that you let me in, Kreacher. Why don't we just pretend that you are a well trained elf who does what he's supposed to do? Then you can leave it up to the master of the house to give me a proper greeting."

Sirius looked down at Kreacher with all the arrogance at his command as he gave the next orders.

"In the meantime I expect to be served in a manner that befits my station. I would like a large cup of hot coffee with something sweet to go with it. Perhaps some of the shortbread? I seem to remember you used to bake it every day when you still belonged to the Blacks."

Even as Sirius was heaping scorn on Kreacher, he heard an inner door open, the one to Severus's study if he recalled correctly.

"Kreacher! Who was that at the door?"

Severus stood there stunned, as he recognized Sirius in the doorway, smiling as he made a show of removing his robe, brushing it off and giving it over to the elf.

"Has the etiquette changed since I left the country or are you and Kreacher just this unfriendly to your guests?"

He couldn't help making a little snide remark as neither the man nor the elf made any move to respond to him.

Severus made an effort to regain his poise. He turned to the elf and spoke quietly.

"We will take the coffee in the library, please."

Kreacher retreated gratefully to the kitchen, while Severus pointed the way to the library, letting Sirius walk before him.

"You must excuse my less than enthusiastic greeting. Under the circumstances....I'm sure you understand."

"I'm glad you had time for me," Sirius interrupted as he entered the homely library. "My, isn't it cozy in here?" He was trying to keep the conversation light. Severus however, did not pick up on the relaxed tone.

"What brings you here? I hadn't thought to see you."

"Really? I have to ask you, Severus. What do you think you're doing these days? Ending your relationship with Harry without a moment's notice? Binding Kreacher to you? And meanwhile the man you had an affair with moves right in the same day, here, the only place my godson was ever happy! How could you even think I wouldn't want to know why?"

"The reason has nothing to do with you, Black. So please leave me in peace. I'm happy with Harr...Terrence, and I don't want to discuss it any further..."

Sirius noticed the slip, but decided not to mention it. Kreacher brought in the coffee and looked anxiously at his master.

"Master Hasting's owl has arrived. He wants to meet Master Severus in a quarter hour. Is Master Sirius staying for dinner or ...?"

"Why thank you, Severus! I'd be delighted to stay for dinner!" Sirius hastened to answer, turning an unnaturally bright smile on the elf. Of course, he knew his host had offered no invitation, but now his hands were tied and Sirius really wanted to meet the ominous Terrence Hastings.

Meanwhile he tried to ignore the slightly sour look that Severus put on and set to making small talk. It was hardly five minutes before Sirius witnessed a change come over Severus. A jolt went through him and he spoke in a changed voice.

For a brief moment the bored, stoic look that Severus had worn since his arrival was replaced with his normal expression.

"How is he?" Was the first sentence that Sirius felt came from the heart.

"How should he be with the rug pulled out from under his feet?" Sirius went straight to the point to make the most of the time he'd been gifted.``

"Sirius, please. I really want to know how he is. We were together a long time, after all."

"Together," Sirius sneered. His voice was cold. "For Harry you were the love of his life. He wasn't just "together" with you. And even if you don't want to want to acknowledge it, I would have thought only a little while ago that everything was fine and you loved Harry more than your own life."

Severus looked at his old adversary without emotion and tried neither to defend nor explain why he had ended things so abruptly with his ex partner. He simply sat there and returned to his previous bored expression.

"I don't understand you, Snape. I can't imagine what you see in this Hastings that you had to throw Harry over and just forget him like that. That's not you!"

"You're not wrong," whispered Severus. He looked anxiously at the man across from him. "I can't forget him. That's just what I don't understand and it's getting in the way of my relationship with Terrence. It chafes between us." Severus looked almost tortured as he voiced this realization out loud.

"So how is Harry," he asked again, somewhat confused now, and waited for Sirius to tell him.

"He's doing well." Sirius decided to answer normally. "As well as can be expected. At the moment he's sleeping his way through the entire clientele at Chesters. I'm sure you remember Edward's place? Not exactly the most romantic place to form a new attachment, but I'll be damned if he's going to suffer alone any longer."

Sirius could hear the falsehood in his own voice. Naturally, he wanted to excuse Harry's sleeping around and naturally he would far rather he didn't have to worry about him doing it at all.

"No, not Harry!" Whispered Severus, obviously shocked. Whatever words he was going to say next were interrupted as the door to the library opened and Terrence Hastings walked in.

"At least not the Harry that I know and love." Severus ended the sentence quickly, making Sirius wonder if he had intended to say something else. The conversation ended once Terrence laid his arm over Severus's shoulder, pulling him tight.

"Perhaps now that we've dredged up enough dirt on my partner's former associations, we can talk about something more pleasant."

Well that answered that question. Sirius guessed that Hastings must have been listening in for a while before he entered the room. He didn't miss the stinging glance that Hastings cast at Severus before he minded his manners and took Sirius's hand.

The man was playing with him. He was playing with all of them.

As snobbish as it sounded, Sirius was certain that it was only thanks to his title that he had been suffered to remain this long. Hastings would have thrown him out ages ago if he'd been an ordinary Mr. Black. That he had given the title over to Harry he didn't mention now. If Severus hadn't seen fit to tell his boyfriend about it, he wasn't going to do it.

Sirius observed the interaction between the two men with growing concern over the next half hour. Things were very odd with Severus. There was the slightly glazed look, the stilted movements, the threadbare remarks. He realized to his horror that everything that made Severus himself had been effaced in this lifeless, emotionless being who appeared to have no thoughts of his own. Severus Snape the pragmatic, ironical, often tempestuous Potions Master had become a shadow of his former self and a servant of Terrence Hastings.

During dinner and also afterwards when they sat in the library and spoke of his life in Canada, Sirius noticed that Hastings initiated every conversation. Severus would respond to direct questions, but his own answer didn't seem to interest him. If he hadn't been prodded by Hastings now and then he would have sat mum as a piece of furniture following the conversation passively with his hands folded in his lap. 

He was like a puppet. Or better yet, a marionette. Severus Snape behaved like Terrence Hasting's marionette. Hastings pulled the strings and Severus jumped to.

As soon as circumstances permitted, Sirius made his goodbyes, relieved to get away. He had what he came for. In the entrance, as he was taking his robe from Kreacher, the elf scrutinized his face anxiously, then, coming to a decision, he looked quickly left and right and began to speak.

"Please, Master Sirius. Help Professor Snape. He..."  
"Don't pester the guests, Kreacher. You can go back to the kitchens. I will take care of Lord Black myself."

Terrence Hastings was suddenly there. Sirius hadn't even heard him coming. While Kreacher bowed low to Hastings, and, as quickly as someone in such a position could manage, disappeared downstairs, Hastings accompanied Sirius to the door.

"Please don't take this personally, Lord Black, but I think it would be best if you didn't see Severus again. We are happy and don't need any deleterious influences from outsiders to come between us. See to it that Potter gets his life together and enjoy your life in Canada. I'll take care of Severus. If you take my advice, I'm sure we can come to an understanding. If not..."

Hastings left the rest of the sentence hanging, but Sirius could not mistake the underlying tone. He recognized a threat when he heard one. Hastings was dangerous. He seemed to have Severus and Kreacher both completely under his control. But Sirius took up the gauntlet.

"I have known Severus since our school days. Our paths are bound to intersect, even if it's only at an old restaurant or two. But I will heed your advice and refrain from bringing up my godson...if we should happen to meet."

"I don't want you to arrange to meet with him. He needs to concentrate his energies on his career and such disturbances now are not welcome. The publication of his book will be very demanding, the readings, the signings.."

"I'm sure Severus will let me know when my visits are too much. Certainly he's never refrained from making his feelings known in the past when he wanted to tell me something."

"Farewell, Lord Black. I hope you understand." Hastings interrupted Sirius, already closing the door between them.

"Absolutely, Mister Hastings."

Sirius laid his hand on his hat and bowed slightly to this fool. He would not let this go. He would find out what was really going on.


	15. Flames of Rage

"Good morning, Sirius!"

Harry was making his way downstairs, only half awake, when he ran into his godfather. He didn't pause to say more. He was barefoot, naked apart from a pair of lowslung pajama bottoms and intent on the kitchen. There he encountered a second surprise, a cup of coffee placed directly under his nose.

The cup of coffee turned out to be attached to Ron Weasley. He, together with their friend Theo had apparently been waiting for the hero of the wizarding world to make his appearance.

"Finally!" Ron's exasperated words confirmed Harry's suspicions. "We've been waiting here over an hour for you to show up."

"Sorry!" Harry held his hand in front of his mouth until he finished yawning and then helped himself to a slug of the coffee, followed by the piece of toast they had left out for him. He didn't bother to butter it. He was only eating to quiet his growling stomach anyway.

"Got to bed late?" Ron inquired a little snidely as Harry swallowed yet another yawn.

"Not late. It's more like I was busy with other things, if you know what I mean. Blaise and I were up all night and..."

"I don't need to know the details, thanks!" Ron cried in horror. He gave Harry a reproachful look. 

At the same time, Theo asked incredulously, "Blaise? As in Blaise Zabilini?"

"Yep, that's the one. Don't tell me you have something against him! You two were in Slytherin together."

"But Harry." Theo's voice betrayed his anxiety. "You can't be serious. You know Blaise Zabini was Draco Malfoy's best friend in school. And as far as I know they are still close."

"They're not. Blaise cut his ties to Draco after the war, once he realized that the Malfoy's were still sympathetic to the Death Eaters."

"Are you sure?" Theo persisted. "I seem to remember that Blaise and Draco had a really tight connection. They never officially came out but I got the feeling they were more than friends."

Harry didn't want to hear any more.

"Please stop, Theo. There's no way Draco Malfoy is gay. Anyway, Blaise told me all about his friendship with the Malfoys. Did you know his father was one of Voldemort's inner circle? That's why he couldn't let anyone know he was on our side. Blaise isn't any more of a traitor than you or Ron."

Harry decided to shift the conversation away from his latest fling.

"What are you all doing here at this hour, anyway? Shouldn't you be at work?"

"Not today. We got the day off to help Ron fix up his new house. We're going to paint and take care of all the little things that need doing so that it's all ship shape for Hermione when they move in."

Theo smiled at Ron, who was practically bursting with pride. It was obvious that the house was important to him. It wasn't that he'd been unhappy with the old place, but every man wants to provide his family with a home where there is enough room for everyone.

"We want to drag you with us so you have something to do for once. So come on, get dressed and get going."

"Um...". Harry scratched his head, a bit embarrassed. "The thing is, Blaise spent the night. Why don't you go on ahead and I'll follow you once I've seen Blaise off?"

"You let that guy spend the night in your home? Have you lost your mind?" Theo's voice was louder than he had intended. "You don't even really know the man!"

"I sleep with him. How much better can you know someone than that?" Harry shot back, angry now. He couldn't stand being patronized.

Ron held his hands up and attempted to calm the two of them down.

"Hey now, that's enough guys. We're going to go now and Harry can come if he wants to when he has a chance. The rest is none of our business."

Theo nodded his agreement and turned to Harry to apologize.

"OK. Fair enough. Just promise me you'll be careful. Don't trust Blaise just because you're sleeping with him. I know he was Draco's confidante once. Maybe he still is. I'm just giving you a head's up."

"Thanks, Theo." Harry tried to keep his tone normal as he stood up and prepared to go back to the bedroom where Blaise was waiting for him. "I promise to be careful."

Harry returned to his room without another word. He didn't notice the worried look his godfather gave him on his way. Of course, Sirius had overheard Theo's loud outburst from the kitchen and he was aghast at Harry's carelessness.

His godson was really not himself these days.

Sirius hoped he would be able to send Hastings packing, preferably to one of the inner circles of hell and get Severus back together with Harry again.

Since his visit to Spinner's End, he knew with absolute certainty that Severus still loved Harry. The real question was why the man seemed so out of it and what role Terrence Hastings had to play in his behavior.

It was a good thing that Harry was going to be busy with his friends today. Sirius had made an appointment to see Gwaine Robards in the hopes that together they could dig up something on the new man in Severus Snape's life.

******

 

Harry stepped quietly into the bedroom, trying not to wake his new conquest, who was still under the covers. Carefully he approached the bed and kissed Blaise tenderly on the mouth.

The sleeping man woke gradually to life. Blaise sighed and stretched like a kitten and slowly opened his eyes. What a night. He turned his head, gently, and then gave a loud groan as the pounding began behind his eyes.

"Fuck!" He groaned again, sitting up slowly and placing his feet with care on the ground.

Harry laughed and handed him a hangover potion.

"Here. Drink this. It works instantly."

Blaise took it without argument and ignoring his nausea, drank it all down in one go. He shook his head back and forth with relief as the potion worked its way through his system.

With his head clearing and his brain rattling around his head again, he was free to notice Harry. In his low riding pajama bottoms, he looked like the start of his every steamy fantasy.

"I hope you weren't parading around your uncle looking like that."

He pulled Harry to him by his waist band until Harry fit snugly between his legs. He put his arms around his lover and buried his face in his chest, breathing in the provocative scent of him.

Since Harry hadn't showered, Blaise could smell an erotic mixture of himself, a trace of Harry's cologne and the unmistakable aroma of a long hot night of sex.

Softly he stroked his hands over Harry's naked skin. "Merlin, I'm already hard again. What are you doing to me?"

"I have to ask you the same question." Harry rasped, the arousal robbing him of his voice. "Shower! Now!" Was all he managed to say. He helped Blaise to his feet and pushed him towards the bathroom.

Ron and Theo were forgotten, as he observed Blaise, watching him empty his bladder and wash and dry his hands before he finally turned to Harry, took him in his arms and led him to the giant tub.

Blaise ran a bath for Harry instead of the shower, waiting for the little nod that meant Harry wanted it. He added oils, some erotic scent that befuddled their senses and plunged them into the realm of sexual fantasy.

It wasn't long before Harry was running a sponge over every place on Blaise's wonderful body that he could reach. They stroked and massaged each other, while Harry's hand wandered it's way down to Blaise's entrance. He inserted a finger.

It wasn't really necessary. Blaise had been too aroused to wait and used a spell to prepare himself. But Harry kept going. He loved to watch Blaise's expression transform every time he hit his prostate. 

Then he couldn't wait any longer and he steered Blaise to the edge of the tub so that he could support himself as Harry pushed in and out of him slowly and thoroughly from behind.

Even in the water they found their rhythm, their goal the same, ever closer and closer to the edge. Blaise's panting breath, the contractions squeezing around Harry's erection...it was all over too fast. Automatically, Harry reached around and pumped Blaise, pulling out just in time to spill all over his lover's back.

He didn't want to come inside of him, not without a condom. It was an intimacy that betokened deep trust for him and he'd never shared it with any one besides Severus.

Harry was now completely satisfied, but Blaise hadn't come yet. So he worked him from either end, on his cock and in his arse until he could feel with vicarious pleasure how Blaise gave himself over, groaning, to his orgasm.

They lingered in the bath, enjoying being surrounded by warm water, kissing and licking and recovering from all the strenuous play. After a while, Harry remembered what he'd promised Theo and Ron.

"Fuck! We have to get out, Blaise. Ron will kill me if I don't help him with his house."

He hauled himself up and then shooed Blaise out of the tub.

"Let's go. You know Ron and how quickly he gets ticked off."

"You can say that again." Blaise grinned, but he hurried shaving and dressing himself so as not to keep Harry from his friends.

"When will we meet again, tresoro mio?" He asked, just as they were about to leave.

"I'll be back at Chesters this weekend. I'm having dinner with Edward. Sirius will be there, too. You should come. It will be a good time for us all to get to know each other better."

"I'd love that. That is if your godfather doesn't mind my presence."

"Why should he object? You are after all my date."

"And what about that other bloke you always meet on weekends? Do you think he'll make trouble when he sees us together?"

"What other bloke do you mean?"

Harry had to think a minute. "Oh! You mean Frank...Why does everyone always harp on him? We're not a couple or anything. Why would he have a problem? We only meet up by happenstance, for a little fun. It's casual, believe me." 

Harry chose not to think about Frank's possible feelings for him. He kissed Blaise one last time in front of the fireplace. "It's true you're not the only one, Blaise, but I like to think there's something developing between us."

"Only something, tesoro mio? I hope one day you may return the feelings that I harbor for you."

Harry gave him one kiss more, on the tip of his nose before he took a handful of floo powder, saying, "I'm a patient man, Harry. I truly love you and I hold out hope that one day you will love me."

Blaise threw the powder in the fire and stepped into the fireplace. "Zabini Castle!" He called out loud and clear and was enveloped in green flame.

The minute Harry was by himself, Sirius, who had been lurking around waiting for him, quietly stepped up and spoke what was on his mind. He hoped Harry would listen to reason.

"Are you sure about Blaise?" He asked, without preamble, startling his godson who hadn't noticed that anyone was behind him. 

"God Siri! Don't scare me like that!"

"I'm sorry, Harry. I didn't meant to. I thought you heard me."  
Sirius looked Harry over carefully. He seemed happy and relaxed. "I'm just wondering if you are certain about Blaise. He is a Slytherin after all."

"So was Severus,Siri. I can't say that Blaise is the man I'm going to marry, but I feel something for him."

"I'll be honest with you, I'm not thrilled that you brought him to the house this soon, but I will try to get used to the idea. If it stops you from working your way through Chesters every weekend...."

"Who says that Blaise is going to be the only one I see? Please, Sirius, don't play the morality card with me. I'm not in the mood for that bullshit. Severus was my life and that wasn't enough to hold him. So why should I commit myself to one man? Let me have my fun and stay out of it, please! I need a friend, not a father figure who's always pointing his finger and judging me."

Sirius laid his hand on Harry's shoulder to stop him from fleeing.

"I don't want to make you angry, Harry. But I'm worried and if Theo has concerns, I take that seriously."

"I love you, too, Sirius," said Harry, smiling even as he tossed floo powder into the fire. "But please keep in mind that I'm an adult..."

Sirius stood there a long time, thinking of a certain potions master who desperately needed his help.

*****

This same potionsmaster was busy at that very moment, trying to placate his lover who stood in front of him, glaring down at him with his arrogant gaze.

"Terrence, please. How could I have known that Black would come here?"

"You let this man influence you, my love. Tell me what you were thinking and don't look at me as if I were the one responsible for your actions. Remember, it was you who came to me when you were looking for someone to help you with your book."

"I don't know what you want from me, Terrence!"

Severus really couldn't get a handle on the situation. Ever since Black came, Harry had been swirling through his thoughts, leaving him confused and disoriented. He didn't know why he reacted so much to Harry's absence when he loved Terrence, but whenever he looked at his partner he got the sensation that he was full of fury at the man, and yet he was supposed to love him to distraction. Didn't he?

Whenever he was alone...or at work, or here in the house...he found himself doubting that Terrence was really the man he wanted at his side. In these moments there pressed into his thoughts the image of kindly green eyes, making his heart race and his breath quicken.

But the moment Terrence was there, those thoughts vanished and he wanted Terrence with every fiber of his being. With his beloved, he forget everything else. His memories of Harry retreated into a corner of his mind and faded away to nothing. Only to come roaring suddenly back at odd moments. 

Sometimes, memories lit up inside him of the two of them, sitting in front of the fireplace reading the paper side by side and debating one of the articles before their desire overcame their arguing and they took themselves to bed.

Unconsciously, Severus's eyes wandered to where he and Harry had made love the last time before he'd left for Paris. Back when their lives still made sense.

It was around then he'd first felt drawn to Hastings. He'd enjoyed the conversations in which they'd discovered so many mutual interests: their love of potions and of everything to do with the Dark Arts, something that had always been his hobbyhorse since he was young. He had been fascinated with Terrence Hastings. Severus could vouch for that.

But his feelings had never been as strong then as they were now. This dependance- and he had to call it that in his own mind-this dependance had only begun once Harry was away in Paris.

Severus's gaze sought his lover's. He looked deep into Terrence's eyes and saw the cold that came from him. Severus thought he recognized something pass through his partner's gaze but he couldn't latch onto it or remember why he was even looking. His thoughts wouldn't hang together and he knew only that he was deeply confused.

"We should go to town today." Terrence interrupted his train of thought. "They might have finished the publication schedule and then we could go to Flourish and Blotts and plan for your readings. I think it's time you pledged yourself to me more officially. You have to show that Harry Potter no longer has any hold over you. Do you understand me?"

Terrence Hastings looked long and lingeringly into his lover's eyes, stroking him in the meantime. Moments later, Severus responded to the touch.

"Whatever you want. You are the most important thing in my life."

Tenderly, Severus stroked over Terrence's chest and then caught him up in a ravenous kiss that soon became much more. When the man had reached his climax and not a moment later, Severus breached him and shoved rhythmically inside. To make use of this man, so dominant and yet so devoted a lover...Terrence truly enjoyed the power he had over the Potionsmaster.

Severus himself felt as if he moved through a thick fog. Naturally, he also felt the tightness of Terrence, how arousing he was and how stimulating. And yet...he glanced at the man under him who was holding his knees wide to his chest and seemed to be having a good time...something was missing. Something important. His thoughts raced even as his hips pushed faster in and out. What was wrong here?

Mechanically, he grasped his partner's member and pumped the man until he came a second time. He didn't come himself. His penis went flaccid the moment he felt Terrence's sperm on his hand.

Almost at the same time, he pulled back and shoved himself back in his pants. In that moment he finally realized what was wrong. His heart wasn't beating with excitement. His mind hadn't switched off the way it always had before when he brought Terrence to satisfaction.

A second later the moment was gone. Terrence Hastince pulled his trousers back up, took note of Severus's speculative look and grabbed his left shoulder with a firm right hand.

"Sleep!"

Instantly his body sagged and all was darkness around him. He was some place that he couldn't name. It was the place where his senses were centered on Terrence Hastings.

"You will follow my voice. You will listen to me and when you open your eyes again, you will kiss me and swear your life to me. You will shun Harry Potter and deride him....We are going to Diagon Alley and you will demonstrate your love for me there. You will appear infatuated with me. You will indulge me in every conceivable way and tell anyone who will listen how much you love me...If you understand me, move your head to the left."

Terrence watched dispassionately as Severus once more concentrated his attention on him and gave himself over to him completely. That was more like it. Now he would have to wait and see how long it took for the man to rebel again.

Hastings knew that he enjoyed the time they spent together. Even if their relationship was just an illusion, he lived that illusion to the hilt.

"I'm going to destroy Harry James Potter. You will never get him back. Severus belongs to me


	16. Diagon Alley

"Can you see the two of them? They disappeared all of a sudden. It looks like they went inside."

Sirius Black was standing next to Head Auror Robards and observing the bookstore, Flourish and Blotts, from across the street. "Can you tell me why it has to rain every single time we're stuck outside without the slightest chance of a cup of coffee?"

His partner in suffering laughed.

"Maybe it's because it's almost always raining in England," he suggested with the equanimity of someone who was accustomed to stake outs and who had nothing to spare for the rain but a tired smile. During the war and even in the time after he had spent months at a time tracking down Death Eaters. He was just as happy to be confronted with nothing worse than a little English damp. 

"Look! I think the signing session just ended. At least everyone is leaving the store and a lot of them seem to have Severus's book in hand." Gwaine pointed to the entrance of the bookstore. "I don't know what to think of Severus anymore. He always struck me as private to a fault. I would never have expected him to live the life he does now."

"I can second that. If ever anyone embodied the phrase "stick in the mud" it would be him. He's the last person you could imagine parading himself around for his lover. And for that guy of all people. How he could be with a slime bag like that is mind boggling....I mean the man isn't even good looking. Compared to Harry, Terrence Hastings is nothing but a mousy little nobody."

Sirius thought back to the time long ago when he and Severus had their fling. It hadn't exactly been true love between the two of them, but it had been a relationship of equals. Looking at the man now, he had the feeling he saw a complete stranger.

"Look at that, Gwaine. The two of them are just standing there in the open holding hands....That's just not normal. At least it isn't for Severus. He was always much too uptight for his own good."

Gwaine watched the pair across the way for a long stretch and then decided to lay his cards on the table. "Sirius!" He began, an apology in his voice. "I don't want to step on your toes, but if I understand you right, I'm pretty sure you know more about Severus than you really should."

Sirius was taken aback. Had Robards just insinuated that he'd been cheating with Severus himself?

"My relationship with Severus, if you could even call it that." He said, looking Gwaine straight in the eyes, "had no bearing whatsoever on his relationship with Harry. We stopped seeing each other once Severus finally owned up to his feelings for my godson. It's true, however, that the Severus I knew then has nothing in common with that marionette over there."

"Please don't take this the wrong way...neither you nor Harry owe me any explanation, but....and I have to stress this: I only want what's right for my friends. Even if Severus isn't one of my closest friends, Harry is and I want him to be happy. And I really believe he can only be happy with Severus."

Gwaine had never said so much about other people's relationships before, preferring to stay out of their business. The way things had ended between Harry and Severus bothered him somehow. There was something foul about it.

"Hastings must have done something to Severus. Something that isn't exactly imperius and that can't be traced as dark magic. I have never heard of anything that fits that description, though, not that would have such a mind altering effect." Gwaine was thinking outloud, trying to put his thoughts in order.

"You knew Severus from before and I've known him since Harry began his training..." Gwaine hesitated for a moment. "It's hard to explain exactly what I mean...but the way the man is acting is unlike anything I've seen from him at any other time. He was always reserved and distant around us. Theo, Ron, Hermione, the children, even Pansy always felt a little shut out by him. He has a way of making you feel that you aren't clever enough to speak to. He didn't intend it, perhaps, but he intimidated us all with his knowledge."

"What? You mean Severus Snape comes across as a little supercilious? You don't say!" Sirius laughed. They all remembered the era of the dungeon bat, stalking the halls for children to punish. He had not suffered fools gladly. "Severus may seem like a dominant personality on the outside, but inside he harbors a romantic streak."

"And so we all thought. The only thing we were sure of was that Severus loved Harry, deeply. Harry broke through his shell and found the true person underneath or so we assumed. That's why we didn't go and bawl him out when they broke up, despite all the shit he pulled. And believe me we would have liked to."

"Sorry to interrupt you...But Hastings and Severus look like they're about to clear out."

Sirius pointed to where the two men were leaving the bookstore, looking as much like two people in love as was humanly possible. As they watched, they began to kiss so deeply it was barely decent.

Sirius was now absolutely certain that something was wrong.

"Severus Snape does not act like that. That is not the man who has been Harry's partner all these years. That there is a pale imitation of the real thing."

He and Gwaine trailed the two love birds, staying just out of sight. They had to pause often when Severus and Hastings stopped to kiss and stroke one another and murmur endearments.

Neither of them noticed the woman nearby, her quick-writing-quill held at the ready, a scandal in the making in her sights. She had been marching around with her photographer, disguised as a harmless old maid when she spotted Hastings and Snape. Now, the quick-writing quill flew assiduously over the parchment as she instructed him to take photo after photo.

Inside Rita Skeeter was gloating. Her intuition had been right on target once again. No one had wanted to cover this publicity event for some boring academic book, but she'd known better. Even if it was only remotely connected to Harry Potter, this story would be a sure thing for the front page.

"What the hell?"

Gwaine Robards' cry came too late. Before anyone could intervene, a stranger materialized out of the night and fired a cuttingcurse at Severus. He screamed and collapsed on the ground.

With a nod to Sirius, Gwaine ran after the perpetrator, while Sirius hurried to the wounded man. 

Terrence Hastings was kneeling by his partner's side, his face blanched. He was trying to hold the edges of the wound together where someone had sliced open Severus's chest.

Sirius saw at a glance how grim the situation was; there was no time for discussion.

"Quick Hastings! Call the medi-wizard now or Severus is going to bleed out." While the man did as he was told, Sirius looked over the wounds.

"You can thank your lucky stars I was in the area."

Sirius had grown accustomed while he was in Canada to the idea that every person needed to know first aid. In the wilds of his new home, you couldn't count on having other people nearby in an emergency.

"Thank god it's not a dark curse, at least," he concluded after a cursory examination. Severus gave a pained groan, trying to find a more comfortable position and Sirius gave him a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.

By the time the healers arrived, Sirius was almost done with the first aid and was just trying to keep the patient from losing consciousness.

While the healers were busy leaning over Severus, Sirius stepped back to get a better take on Hastings' behavior.

The man had sunk to his knees again, unwilling to leave his lover's side, but trying to stay out of the way of the healers. Sirius could see how Severus's gaze was beginning to clear and then Hastings stroked him, speaking intensely in his ear. His eyes changed immediately.

Sirius was completely absorbed watching the change over take the man who was supposed to be Severus. Only the next words out of Severus's mouth distracted him.

"Darling!" Sirius heard him croak out. It was obviously painful for him to speak. "Please...I apologize that this had to happen. I love you....Please ...allow me to assure you that I have never loved anyone the way I love you..."

"Damn it, Snape!" Sirius put himself between the two of them. It was appalling, unbearable. "What is wrong with you? You're lying here in an alley almost bleeding to death and the only thing you can think of is declaring your love for this guy?"

The expressionless eyes that fell on him as the first responders carried Severus away on the stretcher left him speechless for a moment. What could he say? Severus seemed drugged, dazed and disoriented.

"Sir. Please step out of the way so that we can apparate." The emergency team alerted Sirius that he was just standing there, underfoot. He moved aside.

"Where are you bringing him?" Sirius tried to find that out at least.

"St. Mungo's has a special ward for curse wounds. There's no cause for concern. It looks worse than it is. He'll recover soon. We're taking care of your friend, sir. Now please step aside."

Sirius could hear Severus whimpering as the crew disapparated. He could only imagine how painful the apparition was for someone in Severus's condition, but as his thoughts turned to Harry, his concern quickly resolved back into anger.

His eyes were drawn to Hastings, who was staring blankly down the alley and then he heard Robards return and he turned to him. The Head Auror was empty handed. The chase had yielded nothing.

Robards responded to Sirius's questioning look with a shake of a his head. Even when Hastings started in on him, complaining about the incompetence of the ministry and its auror corps, he made no comment.

He knew it was no use getting angry. They needed information.

"Can you tell us something about the perpetrator? What did he look like? Did you know him? Anything that could help us investigate this crime?" Robards tried in his deep, sympathetic voice to coax some details out of Hastings.

"It was a wizard...someone envious of Severus's success, I suppose....I mean his book has already been wildly successful. Everyone from house wives to doctors is lining up to buy it. The sales figures have exceeded my expectations...the world was at Severus's feet. And now this..."

"So you weren't able to identify the man who did this?"

"No. And I think you'd be better off trying to find him instead of standing here wasting my time playing hot shot detective."

"We're doing everything in our power to find the man who did this to your partner, but in the meantime you need to think of anyone who might have had a grudge against him."

******

While Gwaine and Sirius were trying to find out more about the attacker, and struggling to get Hastings to cooperate, Harry was finally on his way to his friends. He had a bit of a guilty conscience; he'd been making himself scarce lately, especially to those people who were closest to him.

Frank, Blaise, all the people he saw at Chesters saw more of Harry than the friends who had stood by him through thick and thin. 

Though they didn't seem to be holding it against him, yet. Harry hesitated for a moment, standing outside Hermione's door, where he was discovered by Pansy who was on her way in with Theo bringing several heavy boxes, lightened with a featherweight charm.

"Harry!" She called, apparently happy to see him. "So glad you could make it. Hermione is going to be glad to see you. Rose and Hugo have been bugging her all day asking when you're going to get here."

She darted in for a quick hug before Theo had a chance to offer his hand and a careful smile. He hadn't forgotten their fight that morning and it dampened his pleasure in seeing his friend again a little.

"Ron is with George upstairs getting the bedrooms ready. They want to be ready to spend their first night here before the end of the day."

"Sounds like I'd better get up there and lend a hand. If I know Ron he's going to spend far too much time playing with the kids' stuff."

Theo and Pansy both laughed. They all knew Ron's affinity for toys.

On his way upstairs, Harry listened carefully. Sure enough, there were the unmistakable sounds of an electric train running, probably the one Harry had given Hugo last Christmas, modified so that it didn't require electricity, of course.

Electric current and magic didn't mesh very well, as a rule. It was theoretically possible to keep electric appliances in a sealed chamber in a wizarding house, but only if you remembered not to perform magic inside it.

Most of the time it simply wasn't worth the effort. Magic could be used to work almost everything but television and Harry didn't miss watching Telly much unless maybe it was the news or those nature documentaries, Dudley used to like.

What Harry really loved was to sit all cozy on the couch in front of a crackling fire and listen while Severus told stories. He would always pick an especially exciting one to while away the cold winter months.

And here he was thinking of Severus again. Harry shook himself to clear his mind and walked into Hugo's room.

Rose and Hugo immediately launched themselves at him with shrieks of joy, while Ron hurried to dismantle the trains so as to maintain the illusion that he'd been putting away the toys rather than playing with them the whole time.

They worked together side by side for an hour, laughing and joking. They were still at by the time they sat down to eat, having earned a good dinner, chattering at a loud volume, when they were interrupted by a knock at the door.

Ron got up and went to see who could possibly know that they had moved in already. The others were listening to the murmur of voices, trying to guess what was going on, when Ron reappeared in the doorway, his face pale, followed by a grim looking Gwaine and Sirius.

"My God,!" Cried Hermione, reading their anxious faces, "What's happened!"

"It's Severus, Harry....Severus was attacked in Diagon Alley and he's been wounded."


	17. Black Magic

“Damn you! How could you let this happen?” Terrence was already screaming with rage when he entered the library.

Narcissa, who was sitting at a table with a man he didn’t know, turned to him with a smile, 

“How can I help you, Terrence? You seem to be a little beside yourself.” It was almost impossible to detect in her tone how annoyed she actually was to be disturbed and with such words. Only those who knew Narcissa well knew how she couldn’t stand to lose face in front of visitors.

“Please excuse me,” she said to the man across from her. “I’m afraid I have to see to Mister Hasting’s needs for the moment.”

“Of course, my dear!” The stranger gallantly kissed her hand and Narcissa rose and led her unwelcome guest to an antechamber.

“How dare you just turn up here like this and address me this way!” Narcissa’s voice was instant ice.

“Why did you attack Severus?” Terrence screamed right back, louder than he had intended.

“You know why. I told you. I can’t let that man get away unscathed and unpunished. Not while my Lucius is still in Azkaban.”

“Killing Severus won’t bring your husband back, Narcrissa. Azkaban is well guarded. Even now that the war is over, it will be difficult to free Lucius. And Severus’s death would do nothing to change that. On the contrary, It’s only thanks to him that we might be in a position to do something.”

Terrence breathed deeply. “Severus is a gold mine, Narcissa. His book is a huge succeess. I’m earning a significant sum from it. That’s money I can apply to your plans. We will finally be a team again. Believe me,. I want to free Lucius just as much as you do, but you promised to leave Severus to me and I’m holding you to that. We had a deal, woman. I leave Potter alone and you don’t touch Severus.”

It was an effort to control himself. He wanted to wring the woman’s neck. Only the friendship of a lifetime stayed his hand. And he might not have had the strength. It took all he had to handle Severus.

He had to admit that the love that bound Severus Snape and Harry Potter together was stronger than he expected. It had tested his abilties to his limit to overcome it. He owed his success to the circumstances around Harry’s trip to Paris: his absence, Severus’s disapproval of his partner’s new job. Severus had been vulnerable and ripe for the picking.  
“I’ve heard from Draco.” Narcissa’s news interrupted his thoughts. “The man who you just made me keep waiting came here straight from Azkaban. He has wonderful news. Just think: Draco has managed to get himself brought down to one of the lower cells together with Lucius. He had duped the guards into thinking he hated his father. You can imagine how thrilled they were to put him in a cell with Lucius after that.”

“You’ve news about Lucius? Why didn’t you tell me? How is he doing? Will he be strong enough to manage a break out?”

Hastings really was pleased about the good news, though he didn’t care about the man himself either way. But Narcissa was his best friend and he was glad for her that she would get her husband back.

“Draco thinks he’s ill, but nothing serious. Nonetheless we should start to bring our plans slowly to a head. That is why I had Severus attacked. It’s finally time to bring Harry in so that he can fulfill his purpose.”

“And what is his purpose supposed to be?” Hastings asked, curious what she could ever want Harry Potter for. “Surely you know how he is. You can’t manipulate him from the outside and expect him to do what you want. He almost never acts without directive. I learned that from Severus at least. Harry might be a good Auror but he’s no vigalante.”

“Harry will come to Azkaban and he will demand, as the hero of the wizarding world, that Lucius have better living conditions. The rest I’ll see to myself, have no fear. I’ve written him a letter that will rouse him to action...Oh yes, he will have to do something...and when he does. Lucius’sbetter treatment will only be the start. Draco will handle it from there. We will be able to get Lucius out of that place, I’m sure of it.

Narcissa did not mention that once her husband was free, she would have no further use for Potter, nor for Snape, nor for Hastings himself. She was on the path to power and whoever might prove a liability would be eliminated.

Terrence Hasting had a bad feeling. He wasn’t sure where it came from, but he made a note to himself to be on his guard in future. No matter how good a friend Narcissa might be, he would never let him take Snape from him, with her wretched obsession with revenge. He alone would decide when he’d had enough of Severus.

With one last look at the library and the man who was patiently waiting for Narcissa there, he left the manor and returned to Spinners End. He wanted to pack a few things before he ran to the hospital.

******

Harry meanwhile was gazing blankly out the window of his bedroom at Grimmauldplace, thinking of Severus. He had wanted to hurry straight to the hospital, but Gwaine had convinced him that now was not the right time for a direct confrontation with Terrence Hastings.

So had come home instead and taken to staring out the window. He wanted to be alone, to see nobody and recieve no good advice. 

He missed Severus so much it hurt.

Harry laid his head on the window sill, forcing himself not to cry as he reflected on his life and the love that had been the center of it. Eveyone thought he was over his loss, but it wasn’t true.

Frank was in his life only because he was so lovely to dominate...as for Blaise, they were wonderfully compatible, it was true, and he enjoyed their conversations. He might develop feelings for him in time. But no one came even close to Severus for Harry and he doubted anyone ever could.

“Harry, are you awake?” Harry heard his godfather’s voice through the closed door, and for the first time in hours, he turned away from the wndow. “Are you hungry? Should I make breakfast?”

Harry cast an increduluos eye at the clock. Could he really have spent all night at the window? It seemed he had. With a groan, he stretched his stiff limbs.

“Let me just jump in the shower and I’ll be right down to help in the kitchen.”

“Take your time. It’s still early. I’ll wait down here!”

Harry hopped quickly in the shower and let the water do its work. He noted now the warmth relaxed him, coaxing a sigh out of his mouth. A bubble bath would have been even better, but his growling stomach put paid to that.

He fiished up his morning toilet quickly, and hurried down to help Siruis with breakfast. They made short work of it together and were soon sitting down to fresh cups of coffee that brought them both back to life.

There was no more peaceful way to start the day. They sat at the kitchen table, talking of this and that, while they ate. Outside it grew lighter. It promised to be a beautiful day. Harry felt himself truly unwind as he hadn’t for a long time and thought that the sleepless night at the window had opened his eyes and shown him his path.

He needed to forget Severus and open himself up to Blaise….

Two postowls knocked ont he kitchen window, bringing the newspaper and a letter with Harry’s name on it. While Siruis opened the paper and caught up on Rita Skeeter’s gossip about what had happened the day before in Daigon Alley, Harry turned the letter over and noted that it had no sender’s address.

He read the first lines and he was shocked, unable to believe what he was reading.

Sirius looked up to tell Harry the latest gossip about himself, saw his face and changed his mind.

“Bad news?” he asked, worried enough to let the newspaper drop.

Wordlessly, Harry shoved the letter over.

“You tell me. I can’t tell. I have no idea what this woman is trying to accomplish with this.”

Now very curious, Siuris took the letter and read.

*****

Dear Mr. Potter,

I hope this letter finds you in recovered health. Don’t worry. Your secret there is safe with me. 

I know you have not been expecting to hear from this quarter ever again, however I thought it important to thank you for all that you did for me when last I saw you. It may have taken a few years to come to a place where I could return your favor, but I think I am now in a position to do just that.

I’m sorry that I had to deceive you at the time in order to retain my freedom, but I have never regreted standing by you against Voldemort. The love of my family, and yes, of power, meant that I could not forgo the chance to use the opportunity you afforded me.

But that is not why I am contacting you.

I’m writing this letter to warn you, Mr. Potter. There are things happening around you, things that will place you and the people you love in danger. Above all, I mean to warn you against Terrence Hastings. He is not what he seems. Be careful in everything you do around him. And you must stay away from Severus Snape. He will not do right by you. Perhaps it will help you understand, if I tell you that Severus Snape also did me an injury, back when I was young and vulnerable.

Even if you cannot understand my warning, heed it nonetheless. Please! The longer you deal with Severus Snape, the more danger you invite, in more ways than one. Things are afoot there that do not involve you. Please do not interefere.

We may stand on different sides, but I like you, Mr. Potter, and I wish you only the best.

In the hope that you may hear my words, I remain,

Yours,  
Narcissa Malfoy

Shocked, Sirius let the letter fall to the table.

“What does Narcissa Malfoy mean that she stood by you against Voldemort? I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean. How were you involved with that woman, Harry?”

“When Voldemort cast the Avada on me, back in the Forbidden Forest, while I was lying in the grass,he wanted to torment my body with the Cruciatus.”

Harry swallowed as he remembered that moment. “You know that I can tolerate pain that would drive many wizards to the brink of madness. But while I have some immunity to the unforgivables, they still hurt a great deal. In that moment, Narcissa Malfoy was standing next to me. She told Voldemort that I was dead even though she had heard my heartbeat and spoken to me. She betrayed her master and bought me the time I needed to catch my breath. It’s thanks to her I was recovered in the decisive moment when I met Voldmort again.”

Finally, Sirius understood the context. And he was in a position to tell Harry a few things that he had neglected to explain before for fear of hurting his godson. Sighing, he turned the letter over and looked Harry deep in the eyes.

“It’s not easy to say what I’m about to tell you, especially just when you finally seem to turning your life back around, but it can’t be helped. It’s important for your safety and for Severus’s too.

“That man has nothing to do with me anymore. I’ve just decided to trust wha I have with Blaise and to forget Severus for good….So, just leave it, OK?”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Harry. Believe me if it weren’t important I wouldn’t breathe a word.”

At Harry’s nod, Sirius poured himself another cup of coffee, turning it nervously in his hands before he finally chose to speak. “When Voldemort broke into your house. When he killed your parents and turned on you...do you remember anything from that time? You say things sometimes that make me think you have an inkling, more than you would expect given your age at the time. Tell me what you remember.”  
Harry just looked puzzled.

“Why are you bringing this up now? What does it have to do with anything?”

“Please Harry. It’s really important.”

“I remember a light, a green light that came shooting out at me. I saw a hideous, distorted face that leaned over my mother’s lifeless body, and then got up and kicked her. Then he turned to me.

For a short moment, Harry’s voice threatened to shake as he was overcome by the memory. The tears stood in Sirius’s eyes, too.

He knew the story, of course, the general outline of what happened, but he’d never spoken to Harry of that night. He had not wanted to rip open old wounds and he had not considered that a little child, not two years old, might recall so many details of his parents’ murder. Softly, he laid a hand on Harry’s arm, offering comfort.

“It has to be done Harry. I would never demand these memories from you if they weren’t vital.”

“I know!” Harry said, sighing. He pulled himself together, recalled the rest and continued in a monotone. “In the moment that the green light reached me, I noticed that something from inside me shot out and wound around the beam for a second. And then it turned and struck Voldemort full on the breast. After that I don’t know any more. Those are the only memories I have of that night. My next childhood memories are all of the Dursleys.”

Harry looked wistfully at Sirius. “Do you miss them too now and then? I mean, unlike me, you actually knew them.”

“I miss them more than you know. Whenever I see you I think how proud Lily and James would have been of you. They were so young. James had only just changed. He was a rogue and a daredevil, you know, before he met your mother and he only got a few years with her after that, but they had you and that was their greatest happiness and pride. You look so much like them both that I’m always reminded of them whenever I’m with you.”

Harry heard Siruis’s shaking voice with a sad smile.

“I don’t want to be a spoilsport, but I don’t see what my parents’ death has to do with anything.”

“This isn’t about your parents. It’s about you and your abilities.” Sirius made sure to hold Harry’s gaze. He let the cat out of the bag. “You have wild black magic, Harry. That’s how you defeated Voldemort as a child.”

“It could be that the destruction of the horcruxes was necessary to make him mortal again, but you would have overcome him at any rate, eventually. The way it happened was faster and saved many people’s lives.”

“I don’t understand. What are you talking about?” Harry screamed at him. He didn’t want to be reminded of the torturous horcrux hunt. It was a long time ago and he was glad about that.

“I’m talking about the fact that you are a master of Dark Magic and that you have been since you came into this world. You didn’t have to learn how to do iit. Like Voldemort you just can. It is only the purity of your soul and the fact that you have no lust for power that keep you from falling prety to the dark as Voldemort did. You have to try to keep your feelings under control. There is always the danger, if you let yourself go, that the darkness will break loose.”

“But that’s not possible….I have never…”

“Yes, you have and it was quite recently. Your injury, Harry! The one that won’t seem to heal. Why do you think you didn’t die of it? .”

Harry shook his head mutely. He didn’t know what Sirus was getting at. “That curse should have killed you. You were the only one hit with it. Someone wanted to kill you and that someone very nearly succeeded. Only because you were able to defend yourself with black magic did you survive.”

“Impossible, Siuris That can’t be.I’ve never performed black magic or even considered it.”

“That’s not true, Harry. You wielded it as a toddler and made use of it in your school years, too...unconsciously, of course, but I see it as Severus did before me, when he was astounded that you performed Sectumsempra on Draco Malfoy. You have an ability and you don’t even know it. But if I can read between the lines, Narcissa Malfoy knows.”

“Surely not, she didn’t say anything about it.”

Harry struggled to think past his godfather’s strange news. He was a master of Black Magic? It was damned hard to believe.

“Of course, Narcissa didn’t mention anthing explicitly. But anyone who knows this woman, knows how she thinks. She’s warning you to watch out for Snape and Hastings and to stay away from them, but she intends the opposite. She wants you involved because she needs you, you and your abilities. Of that I’m sure. And she is certainly behind the attack on Severus.”

“This woman is one of the most powerhungry deatheaters who ever served Voldemort. You must take great care, Harry, not just because of Hastings but because of this woman. Beware. She is deadly.”


	18. Bodyguard

Harry was standing, half hidden behind a partition, staring at a door in the curses ward. His lost love lay behind that door, but Hastings was with him and he would have to wait patiently until he was gone.

The idiot mostly only stayed half an hour before he fled back to Spinner's End. Harry and some of the other aurors had been watching Hastings for a couple of days now, trying to figure out what he was up to and Harry knew his patterns.

He always snuck into the room after, when Severus was asleep, to watch him. Thanks to the excellent care he'd received he would be going home in the next few days and this might be the last time he could look. 

Harry saw Severus differently now

Sirius had opened Harry's eyes. A lot of things made more sense now and things that he had ignored came to the fore. Thankfully.

In his distress before he'd only been able to think of one thing, one that drove all other thoughts from his mind: Severus did not love him anymore. He had left Harry and replaced him with Terrence Hastings in every way that mattered. It was Terrence who was close to Severus now, who took his warmth, his lust, his love and trust.

Now that he had finally taken notice that Hastings was somehow manipulating Severus and in conjunction with Narcissa Malfoy, no less, other aspects of the story were thrown into relief.

He'd wondered about Draco's arrest. Had it been too easy? Harry had been anxious to discover the details of Lucius Malfoy and his son's incarceration at Azkaban. Was it a maximum security cell or just the usual? Once he'd determined that they were both in the most secure cell possible, he felt reassured. There was no danger from that quarter, at least.

The inquiry into the Malfoys had led to his reinvolvement at work. Now it felt like he'd never been away.

He'd spoken to Gwaine when he got there about the wild black magic he carried-He'd wanted to drag no secrets with him into the force-and Gwaine had assured Harry of his trust. It wasn't like Harry was itching to be the next big bad in the wizarding world anyway. He didn't feel in any danger of that. He just thought his superiors ought to know.

"I knew about it already," Gwaine said, in the quiet way he had. "Sirius mentioned the situation almost as soon as he got here. It's not an issue for me because I know you. I know you very well. You're not capable of stepping on someone else's head just to lord it over them. If there ever were someone who deserved a little black magic to preserve their own life, it's you. You are not Voldemort and you never will be."

Gwaine paused a moment to let his words sink in before he spoke again. "Assuming that Narcissa really knows what you can do, which is not a known fact, only what your godfather surmises, then we can expect her to act soon to make use of those abilities."

"So we're not here to discuss whether I can keep my place here or at Hogwarts?"

"Of course, you can. You're the best man for the job. Now we just know why it was so easy for you to pass those exams."

For his boss and his friend it had been as simple as that. For Harry it was burdensome knowing that he had used his dark powers in the past and he second guessed every spell he'd ever used wondering if it had been done with black magic or not.

"Black magic is not inherently evil, Harry," Sirius tried to tell him for the thousandth time. "You're a master of the art. So deepen your knowledge. Don't suppress it; just be clear in what you believe. No one and nothing can force you to do evil against your will."

"I know that! But I can't help that it makes me feel like a freak all over again. Why can't I just be normal for once? A normal wizard with a normal life. Why does that never work out? I mean it was always like this...even before...before Hastings..."

Harry couldn't finish the thought, not without being overcome by his hatred for that wretch, and he needed to keep his head if he was going to help Severus.

Even if they weren't together anymore, he didn't want someone to make a puppet out of Severus. Severus deserved a chance at a normal life, the normal life that Harry couldn't have anymore.

So Harry landed in the Hospital, gazing at Severus as he slept and letting his thoughts wander. His heart still beat faster whenever he saw him. That hadn't changed just because they were no longer together. Harry loved the man with all his heart. He could admit it to himself, at least. He would never be free of his feelings, his unreturned love. Never.

Nonetheless, he saw that he had to let Severus go. Blaise had been a great help there. Blaise held him and gave him his open handed love, his courage and strength to help him overcome the scar on his lifeline.

One day he would have a future with Blaise. Harry had realized it the first time he felt himself shudder in response to the tenderness of Blaise's kiss. It wasn't just about sex anymore. He was really developing feelings for him.

*****

"Harry!"  
Severus opened his eyes sleepily and was astounded to see Harry sitting at his bedside. His head still muzzy with potions Severus, sat himself up slowly.

Damn it! Harry was startled out of his thoughts and found himself staring into the wide open eyes of the wounded man. Why hadn't he noticed the signs? He should have been gone ages ago. He didn't want to talk to Severus. He couldn't. But now it was too late.

"Harry!"

Severus stretched out a hand about to lay it on the hands that Harry had let rest on the blankets, while he was watching Severus sleep. Immediately, Harry snatched them away before he could be touched, like one burned, and crossed his arms over his chest, to shield himself from Severus, or rather to shield himself from his own overflowing feelings. Everything inside him was in turmoil. This couldn't be. He couldn't do this yet, not now, just when he'd found someone else to love him.

Perplexed, Severus attempted to put his thoughts in order to understand what was before him. What was Harry doing in the hospital? Everything seemed far away, buried in fog. Hadn't they separated? Didn't they have nothing more to do with each other?

He saw Harry in the memories that ran unwillingly amok through his mind. There were pictures of Harry, replaced, as soon as he saw them with images of Terrence, instead. Terrence and himself. Together in bed...He saw his boyfriend's face the way it looked when he was pushing inside him...and then he was back to himself, back in his bed in St. Mungo's.

"What are you doing here?" He asked in a cold voice, the memory of Terrence at the forefront now of his mind. "Are you here to revel in my suffering? Are you here to mock me?"

Severus didn't give Harry a chance to reply. He became ever louder, hurling ever more hysterical imprecations at him. Everything swarming in his overstuffed head needed to come out.

A nurse came, alarmed by the noise and led Harry out of room.

"The patient needs rest, Mr. Potter. You know the rules. Interviews are allowed only with permission from the overseeing healer."

"I know, Claire. I didn't want to question Mr. Snape. I don't understand why he's so up in arms. I haven't spoken a single word to him."

Harry left the hospital with a pounding heart and returned to the Ministry. Severus' s words might have been cold but the way he had whispered Harry's name had not.

He hadn't missed how tenderly Severus had spoken that one word at first. And the warmth in Severus's voice had touched him more than it should. That man would be his ruin.

*****

Theodore stared in shock as Harry came bounding into their office, obviously out of breath.

"Hey, what's going on? You skipped training, so what's with the panting?"

"I was with Sev when he woke up. I was still in the room he recognized me. It put me off my game for a bit, but I'm alright now. Nothing to worry about."

"I wouldn't say I was worried, at least I wasn't before you brought it up....but Harry, maybe it's time you guys talked. It can't go on like this. Even if Hastings' machinations are all brought to light and we know Severus is back to being himself...well, you're not with him anymore, are you? You're with Blaise n..."

"I know that. I'm not trying to get back together with Sev. It's just that I think it's utter shite when someone thinks he can play God and manipulate people like that. I mean look at Severus. There's no way that kind of dependance is normal. It makes me crazy that we can't prove anything and we have no idea how Hastings is doing it. It makes me want to vomit."

"Have you heard any more from Narcissa?" Theo attempted to derail Harry from this difficult topic.

"No. It's been radio silence since her letter. I still don't know what that was all about. It was all Greek to me, to be honest."

Harry's gaze was caught in the distance, as he spoke his thoughts outloud. "Maybe we should have another little talk with Draco. The way things look now, it seems like we were somewhat gullible at the time of his arrest. We were just so happy to have gotten him we didn't question it, but It was too easy. I feel it in my gut. It's like he was served up on a silver platter."

"You were gravely injured in that raid. I wouldn't say it was easy exactly," Theo objected. He remembered that time all too well. "Did they ever catch the guy who attacked you or is he still at large?"

"I have no idea. To be honest, I was too caught up in my other problems to worry about some silly wound."

"Hey, you almost died."

"Only because it was a black magic curse." 

Harry didn't want to think about it anymore. It was over. He doubted the curse was aimed at him personally. It was probably just a coincidence that it hit him.

The next days went by without any new developments. Hastings visited Sev every day for a half hour and then flooed back to Spinner's End directly afterwards. Occasionally, he went to Diagon Alley for something or the other and then he always stopped by the Slytherin Palace for a visit.

After Severus's release from the hospital, he was seen with Hastings again. Harry told himself he'd just been imagining things in the hospital room, and he was once again trying to concentrate on Blaise when there was another attempt on Severus's life.

It was poison this time that landed him in St. Mungo's. Severus had been able to recognize the scent, from the first bite and that had prevented the worst damage. No doubt, If he hadn't been so distracted by his infatuation, he would have detected it sooner.

Harry first heard of the second attack when Hasting's arrived in a fury at the Ministry and started asking for the Head Auror.

"I demand to speak to Robards," he declared in his most lordly voice, attempting to pass through security without an appointment.

"Sir," the woman at the desk tried to warn him. "At the risk of repeating myself, I have to ask you if you have an appointment with Auror Robards."

"Of course not!," screamed Hastings. "As this is an emergency I can hardly have made an appointment in advance. Until today I was under the impression that the aurors were at the ministry in order to investigate crimes."

"Of course we are. But that doesn't mean that you are automatically granted access to Head-Auror Robards whenever you like."

Sometime during the fuss that Hastings was making, Robards came through anyway and took the furious man off of the security guard's hands.

"I demand personal protection for Mr. Snape, Auror Robards! You cannot treat my partner differently just because he happens to be the former boyfriend of one of your colleagues. Severus Snape has just been attacked a second time in a short period of time and I demand..."

"Now take a deep breath." Gwaine tried to get Hastings to calm down as he led him into his office. "No one in my department is treated with prejudice, I assure you. Whatever you may think, our procedures conform to the highest ethical standards. We handle every case the same, objectively and competently."

While Robards was speaking, he observed Hasting's behavior. He appeared theatrical but sincerely upset.

"Some one has it out for Severus Snape and wants to hurt him. I can't tolerate this any longer. He has just published a book that he needs to promote. Instead he has spent all his time recently in hospital, recovering from these damned attacks. I demand that the ministry do something in this matter."

Gwaine kept his face neutral, though he would have liked to throw this man into the wall. The son of a bitch was really not to be borne. Nonetheless, the fact could not be denied. Someone really had it out for the potions master.

"I will assign Mr. Snape an officer for his protection," he said, calm and collected. "Auror Nott will shadow Mr. Snape for a certain period."

"No he won't, Robards," interrupted Harry, marching in. "I will be Severus's body guard."

"Auror Potter!" Gwaine tried to pull Hastinע,ד attention away from Harry. "I don't think your post at Hogwarts will allow you to perform protection duty. Besides which..."

"I don't see it that way, Chief. On the contrary. While I am teaching at Hogwarts, Mr. Snape can simply accompany me there. Hogwarts was always a place of safety during the war and that hasn't changed.״

"But..."

Gwaine tried to appeal to Harry's reason but in vain. Harry's decision stood firm. If anyone was going to attempt to take Severus's life, then it was his job to stop them. Not Nott,'s or anyone else's. The look in Harry's eye convinced Gwaine that it would be better not to fight with him over this one.

"All right, then." He gave one last glance at the closed face of his friend and nodded, shocking Hastings to the core.

"You can't really expect me to accept Potter as my partner's bodyguard! Are you serious? Surely this is a bad joke."

"I assure you, nothing is further from my mind than a joke at this point. Auror Potter is one of the most capable men that I can think of for this assignment. He will guard Mr. Snape with his life. That is a fact, Mr. Hastings and I hope we are all adults here and can handle ourselves professionally."

 

Even as he spoke the words, he was looking meaningfully at Harry hoping that he would not regret his decision. But Harry's expression gave nothing away. He just stood there all the while, poker faced.

Hasting's damned himself to hell for having roused the ministry to action. Perhaps he should have tried to talk to Narcissa one more time, but nothing had come of it last time. Their interests had simply grown to far apart for them to work together.

How could Narcissa have come up with such a unhinged plan anyway? Of course, Potter had bitten, he saw that. However it was not in the way she had planned...Suddenly he stopped and thought more exactly about Potter.

Had Narcissa's plan taken into account that Harry had to be near Severus? Was that how they would finally destroy him? If it was up to him, assuming all went well...

Hastings accepted Severus's body guard with dignity, looking Robards straight in the eyes. Once Lucius and Draco were free, then...Smiling, he allowed himself to imagine what all he could do with Potter then, and what with Severus.


	19. Riled up

"Damn it all, Harry, you can't do this!" Blaise screamed in Harry's face. He wasn’t reacting at all well to Harry’s news.

Harry had specially set up the floo so that Blaise could step directly into his bedroom. He’d hoped the gesture would reassure his boyfriend, since Harry had never let him floo into his inner sancum before and show him that he had Harry’s complete trust. It hadn’t worked out.

It was fine at first, before he’d said anything about the new assignment guarding Severus. He just opened his arms and Blaise had come to him and they’d snogged themselves silly. Blaise, sensing how much Harry needed to be gentled, seduced him thoroughly.

They’d fallen on each other right on the spot, like teenagers, ignoring the inviting bed in favor of the floor. Blaise relished Harry’s gasps and cries as he slowly, torturously peeled off his clothes. 

Every sense Harry had responded to the strokes, the tender kisses that built in ever wilder passion as they touched.

It was the first time that Harry had let himself go and let Blaise take the lead. It was unbelievably arousing for Blaise, licking the length of Harry’s throat and rubbing his erect nipples hard between his thumb and forefinger.

Harry bucked wildly, a reward for his efforts that Blaise found infinitely arousing. He had always been on the bottom before and he was glad that Harry needed something different today. He took care to cover every inch of flesh on his way to places further down.

It wasn’t long till Harry felt oversensitive. He spread his legs to give Blaise access to his most intimate spot.

He wanted this so much it hurt. He wanted to feel full again, to have the strength of a man that he could depend on, so that he could finally let go.

With a nonverbal spell, Blaise summoned the sweet smelling lubricant they used, spreading over his right hand before he took care of Harry’s entrance.

“God, you’re tight!” He groaned, feeling the walls of Harry’s arse closing on his finger. Harry couldn’t help that it took him a while to relax. He had waited a long time.

Blaises’ moaned appreciation for how tight Harry was reminded him how well scissoring fingers worked for him. He closed his eyes and gave himself over to Blaise’s wonderful hands.

Blaise brought his left hand in to the mix and tucked a pillow under Harry to make him more comfortable as his most intimate places were prepared for penetration. His eyes rested on Harry’s swollen member. It stood out from Harry’s belly, fully engorged and deep red. Blaise couldn’t resist leaning over and licking the length of it, all the way to the head and then back down, to flick lightly in his hole before he took it in his mouth and began to suck.

Harry thought he would die, feeling his lovers’ mouth at his prick while his talented fingers worked him wide.

“God Blaise! Deeper…yes…just like that…Oh, fuck!” It was amazing what Blaise was doing to him. 

Harry didn’t think he could even put what he wanted into words anymore, as his partner went back to licking the length of his cock, and then took one of his balls into his mouth. Blaise nibbled the sensitive spot gently, sucking the balls between his teeth and then out again, all the while stroking Harry’s sweet spot, letting the pleasure build. “Damn it, Blaise…unless you want this to be over now you need to stop the torture and take me!”

Laughing lightly Blaise obeyed. He knew exactly how to bring Harry right to the edge of his orgasm and hold it there, just until the sensation settled a little and only then breaching him with all his strength, making the hero cry out.

Harry lay on his back, his hindquarters pressed against Blaise, still grunting and groaning under Blaise’s sweet torture. He spread himself for his lover with his hands behind his knees pulling them almost to his chest. He just wanted to spurt and didn’t think he could hold out a second longer when Blaise pulled out yet again and left him lying there.

But this time Harry couldn’t bear the build up again. He reached between his legs and pumped his erection until he could feel the deep contraction start inside. He planted his feet on the floor, pushed his prick through his fist, all with his eyes on his boyfriend, filled with lust.

His muscles went taught and the semen shot out in pulses. His arse opened and closed around Blaise cock, while Blaise kneeling between Harry’s legs with his hands hard on his hips plowed him like a man possessed.

Harry came to his senses when he felt his partner’s cock about to pulse inside of him. That was the beginning of the end, he saw from the strained look in Blaise’s eyes.

“Don’t come inside Blaise….Pull out….there’s no condom.”

That was all he needed to say. Blaise naturally obeyed him, ejaculating all over his body instead.

They lay there on the carpet together, all worn out, trying to get their breath back. They were both spent after that and it took awhile to come back to the real world.

“Was that why you had to call me in the middle of the day?” Asked Blaise, now that his pulse was returned to normal and he could converse again.

Harry considered him for a long while before he decided to be honest.

“I have to leave you for a while, Blaise. Sooner than we thought…before I have to go to Hogwarts I’ve taken another assignment that’s going to require a lot of time. I’m going to be on call 24/7.” Harry chuckled. “I guess it really was sex that made me call you. I’m going to miss that cock of yours when I have to work all alone in a strange house….well, maybe strange isn’t quite the right word for it.” Harry tried to ease the way for what he would have to say next.

For the first time It sank in what he had let himself in for. He would have to live at Spinner’s End…But he would stand by his decision. Harry got up, gave Blaise a kiss on the tip of his nose, and grabbed a dressing gown to cover himself.

“I’m going to grab a shower and then I have to pack and relieve Theodore, whose been covering my shift with Severus at the hospital….I have been assigned as Severus Snape’s body guard.”

Harry was halfway to the door when the sound of Blaise’s ire made him turn around.

“God damn it, Harry!” He screamed as the full import of Harry’s words became clear to him. “First you let me fuck you senseless and then you tell me this? So now you’ve got what you need from me you’re just going to fuck off right back to your old flame? You can’t do this!”

“I think you’ll see that I can!” Harry said back, just as loud. “Don’t try to stop me, Blaise. Nothing that you do or say can hold me back from what my job requires.” He shut the door with more strength than necessary and got in the shower.

When he got back he found Blaise, fully dressed, sitting on the bed and staring out the window. Harry saw the hurt in his boyfriend’s eyes and was overcome with a wave of guilt.

“It’s my job, Blaise. It’s what I do; I chase criminals and I protect people.”

“No, Harry! This here is more than work. You’re not personally responsible for Snape’s wellbeing. Someone else could have taken on this assignment…anyone besides you, actually. If you love me, Harry, you’ll step away.”

“I don’t buckle to ultimatums, Blaise, not even from you. If something happened to Severus and I knew that I hadn’t done anything to stop it…do you really think I could live with that?”

Blaise sighed and kissed Harry tenderly goodbye.

“You’re unbelievable, you know that? Please watch out for yourself. And check in once in a while. Just because we can’t see each other, doesn’t mean that you can’t owl me.”

“Of course I will, Blaise. Consider it done. Um…I know it’s hard, but…”

“It’s OK, Harry. I understand you…”. Once last, quick kiss and Blaise grabbed and handfull of floopowder and flooed home.

He stepped right from the fireplace into the line of his father’s implacable gaze.

“And?”

“He’s packing!,” was all that Blaise answered, as he hurried to his room and shut the door. Sometimes he disgusted himself.

*****

In the meantime, Harry was sitting in kitchen of Grimmald Place. He had little Rose on his lap and Hugo was playing with his toys at the table.

“Look, Uncle Harry! Do you see how long I can get the top to go?”  
Rose leaned in closer to her brother and whined, “Let me have a turn. I know how to do it!”

“No, you’re too little, Rose. You’ll just break it.”

“Hugo, a spintop like that doesn’t break that easily. Let Rose have a chance, please.”

Hermione was tired that day, dead on her feet. The pregnancy wasn’t letting her get any sleep. And then there was all the disruption with the move, the kids and Ron to worry about….not to mention Harry, who was about to get into trouble again, she could tell already.

“You’re such a stupid baby, Rose. You always take everything, but this is my top and you can’t have it!”

Forgetting his manners, Hugo shoved his sister’s hand away and stomped out of the kitchen in high dudgeon. Naturally, Rose burst into tears and screamed like a kettle.

Seeing that his wife was on her last nerve, Ron took pity on her and took his daughter in his arms.

“Come on, Rose. We’ll find Hugo so you two can make it up. It’s not very nice of you two to act up like this with your Uncle Harry and Uncle Sirius here.”

On his way out, Ron gave his wife a wink and pointed to Harry, who was looking a little overwhelmed. “I’m going to leave you two in peace for a few minutes. Maybe that will be enough time to talk some sense into the little blighter.”

Hermione sank onto a kitchen stool with relief the second she heard the door close behind them. She was very grateful that Ron was taking the kids off her hands so much today, even if she knew it was only to give her a chance to talk Harry out of his ludicrous idea.

“So how did Blaise take it?” She asked, reaching for the tea that Sirius handed her. She couldn’t drink coffee now.

“He was furious, of course. But he has to accept it. I mean I’m not accountable to him, not about work, at least…”

“Harry, we’ve talked about this!” Sirius jumped in with the tone of someone who is long since sick of the topic. He missed Thomas and would rather have left for Canada that morning, but with the situation looking to get complicated, he’d abandoned his plans for his return. “That’s a shitty idea and if you just think with your head for a minute instead of with your dick, you’d see we’re all right…”

Sirius spoke in no uncertain terms, trying to get through to Harry but even he was unable to change his mind.

One word followed another and he and Hermione talked at Harry without pause. After a while he couldn’t take it any more and started to answer back, but it had no effect on his friends who continued to pester him.

Finally he was angry enough to want to escape the kitchen and all the recriminations.

“Stop acting so put upon, Harry! We’re your family!” Cried Hermione with frustration, one hand still absently stroking her belly. “If we don’t have the right to tell you when you’re making a mistake, who …”. She stopped abruptly, groaning with a sudden sharp pain.

Harry, who had been about to storm off in a rage, turned to his friend in shock at the sound and hurried to her side. He pushed Sirius, who had knelt beside her, unceremoniously aside, so that he could lay a hand on her shoulder.

“Where is the pain, Hermione? Can you put your hand on the spot where it’s coming from?”

Harry had turned instantly to healer mode and was monitoring Hermione’s vital signs, while his hands felt around her belly.

His friends eyes were full of pain. She laid a hand on her lower stomach and groaned again as another wave rolled over her. Harry took her by the arm and led her to the bedroom. He turned to Sirius.

“Call Ron and get a healer from St. Mungo’s…and then see to Rose and Hugo. It’s serious.”


	20. Reporting for Duty

“Just go! Theodore’s been waiting for you to take over for hours now. I’ll be fine.”

Hermione was sitting up in bed and looked with a false air of remonstrance at Harry, who wouldn’t stop fussing and worrying over her. His friend’s scare had made him forget everything else right now, even Severus apparently.

Ron sat next to Hermione on the bed, holding her in his arms and keeping an eye that she not overtax herself. 

“It’s perfectly safe for you to go, now, Harry. Everything’s fine. The Healers just came in with Hermione’s results. All she needs is rest. No more stress and no more rushing about. And believe me, I’m going to make sure she gets all the rest she can stand and more.”

Reluctantly, Harry stood up. He kissed Hermione goodbye and gave his best friend a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.

“Promise me you’ll tell me if anything happens? I can’t concentrate on work unless I know Hermione and the baby are doing OK. Keep me in the loop, please.”

“We’re good,” Hermione said. “Don’t worry. We’ll spend the night here and then in the morning we’re going to drop the kids off at Molly’s for a while. Then I’ll be able to sleep all the day and get well again. So get out of here before or I’ll hex you to the door myself.”

Harry smiled. “Hush now, I’m going.” With a last look at Hermione, he left for the lobby, where Sirius was waiting to say goodbye, somewhat tireder than usual after several hours of minding Ron’s brood for him.

“I understand if you want to go back to Canada,” said Harry in a low tone, and he really meant it. “I’m better now, after all, and I’m sure you have better things to do than sitting around Grimmauld Place waiting for me, babysitting the odd kid, and getting sucked into everybody’s problems.”

“Nope,” Sirius said with a smile. “Wild horses wouldn’t drag me from here. Not while Hasting is around, stirring the pot and you keep getting mysterious letters from Narcissa Malfoy. I’ll go into town tomorrow and send Thomas a fax. Maybe he can manage to get a few weeks off and visit.”

Harry heard the longing in his voice and was struck with a pang of guilt for demanding so much from his godfather and keeping him so long from his life in Canada.

“I didn’t know you were familiar with Muggle London. It sounds like Thomas has been good for you. I mean fax machines, Sirius! I have to admit I don’t know how to use those things and I grew up with them! Anyway, I’d love to have a visit from Thomas. I haven’t seen him in…how long is it now?” Harry tried to remember the last time he’d been to Canada. “It has to have been three years. I hope he can make it. Then you can finally show him around the magical world.”

“I don’t know if it’s in the cards, but it can only be after I’ve explained a lot of things and talked it over…” Sirius didn’t need to say more; Harry knew what he meant.

He had grown up in the muggle world himself and he knew how some muggles mistrustred their magical relatives. It was never easy coaxing muggle family members to get over their discomfort.

“If worse comes to worse, Thomas could always stay with Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia,“ he said with a cheeky grin. “Since Dudley’s left home there is a room free-two, actually. Although I’m not sure how up for in they would be. I can’t imagine their attitude about magic has changed much in the last ten years.”

“Just one thing, Harry!” Said Sirius, sounding worried. “Please, take care of yourself.” He ignored his godson’s attempt at a joke. He know that the rejection of his aunt and uncle still hurt him. Even after all this time it was hard for Harry to talk about his childhood. That he was willing to make light of it for Thomas’s sake was proof of a fondness for Sirius’s Partner that he deeply appreciated. “Promise me.”

“You know me. I’m always careful.”

Harry hugged him one last time before reluctantly letting go. It was time to leave. Even if Theo didn’t mind covering for him, Pansy didn’t necessarily feel the same way. She would expect Theo back at home.

*****

The episode with Hermione meant that Harry was hours late. Severus had long since been released from the hospital, so Harry reported for duty immediately, apparating straight from Grimmauld Place to Spinner’s End.

Of course he fell on his knees landing. It took all of his self control to manage his roiling stomach. Really he wanted to puke his guts out, but he didn’t want to give Hastings anything more to hold over him.

As soon as he’d pulled body and soul together and was certain he could think straight, Harry faced the door. His heart pounding, he slowly walked towards the place that had been his home. He raised his hand to knock, which felt strange after so many years of living there, and was overcome with a sense of his own ludicrousness.

He damned himself and his stupid ideas and braced for the moment when Hastings and Severus would be standing together before him.

The door opened, revealing Hasting’s peevish face that hovered above Harry for a moment before he stood aside and let him in.

“Mr. Potter,” was all he said and then he vanished into the living room.

Harry was still standing there somewhat helplessly with his pack at his feet, when Kreacher appeared. After a careful inspection, he said, 

“Mr. Potter, sir, come this way.”

Harry followed with a blank face that showed none of his true feelings for his miserable betrayer. The elf had never gotten along with him, but it wasn’t the dislike that still bothered him so much as the senselessness of the betrayal. He felt it bitterly all the time Kreacher was leading him down the hall and showing him his room.

And when he threw his suitcase on the guest bed where he had spent the night only a few months before, after that fight with Severus, it was a very special moment.

The room hadn’t changed, he saw at once.

“Master Severus and Master Hastings will expect you for dinner in exactly one hour.”

“Thank you, Kreacher.”

The forced politeness was enough to hold him in check-barely. He still had to bite his tongue not to scream at Kreacher.

“Master Nott is waiting in the library for Mr. Potter. He is consulting with Master Severus. If you would like to join them I can take you there.”

“Thank you, Kreacher, but unless the library has moved since I lived here I’m sure I can find it myself.”

“Of course, Mr. Potter. Kreacher understood. Kreacher didn’t want to presume. Kreacher wanted to…”

The elf turned beseeching eyes to Harry as he tried to talk and stopped in the middle as if afraid to go on.

Harry could only stare in wonder at the elf, who was so obviously eaten with anxiety that he had to ask.

“Is there something else, Kreacher?”

“Kreacher just wants to say that Kreacher is glad to have Mr. Potter back in the house. Master Severus is so….I mean it is not Kreacher’s place to say anything, but…things happen here in Spinner’s End, strange things, dangerous things…Master Hastingss…”

“You can leave us, Kreacher. I will take care of Auror Potter myself.”

Hastings had entered the room without Harry being aware of it. Kreacher immediately gave a bow and left, his eyes wide with fear.

“I would greatly appreciate it, Mr. Potter, if in the future you left the giving of directions to my underlings to me. Kreacher is no longer yours to command. He has become my burden, now. So if you please….”  
Hasting’s cold tone made his point clear without any further words and Harry found sympathy for Kreacher who would no doubt be punished for whatever it was he had been trying to say.

“It seems we need to make one thing crystal clear from the start, Mr. Hastings.” Harry stated his case with cold firmness though inside he wanted to tear the man apart. “I’m here on assignment for the ministry. That means that whatever it takes to secure the safety of the individual to whom I am assigned, I will do, period.” Harry stared his opponent in the face with the same hardness he saw mirrored there. “There is nothing you can say or do that will stop me from protecting Severus.”

“Believe me, I could not be more concerned for my partner’s safety myself. But I must admit I do not like your methods. If I see you are getting too close to Severus, you will find out exactly what I am capable of.”

Hearing the threat, Harry stepped into Hasting’s space.

“Is that fear I see in your eyes, Hastings? Who are you afraid of? Surely not me? As long as you do the right thing by Severus, you have nothing to fear from me. On the other hand, if I find out you intend him harm…”

“There you are Harry! I’d just about giving up expecting you today. Is everything alright with Hermione?”

Relieved to be interrupted, Harry turned to the door where Theo appeared, obviously taking the situation in at a glance. Harry had been on the verge of losing control. Theo could feel it in the vicious clasp his partner had on his arm as he accompanied him to the library. “Get a hold of yourself or I’ll have to bring Robards in,” he growled. And then they were walking in and Harry was looking across at Severus, who raised tired eyes to his

“You can let go of me. I’m not going to lose it, I promise,” Harry whispered, low enough that only Theo could hear him. He pulled his arm out from his grasp and turned back to Severus.

“Let’s leave the past behind us and concentrate on the present,” he began, diplomatically. “It will greatly aid my work here if we can behave like adults and leave our private differences behind. I am here as your body guard, nothing else. Can you live with that?”

Severus couldn’t help but flinch to hear this cold and distant version of the voice from his past. This was not Harry as he had known him. However he gave his answer without emotion. He didn’t want to show that Harry affected him.

“Of course, Auror Potter. As long as you don’t interfere in my private life and honor your boundaries, I have no reason to object to your presence here.”  
Hastings came up to Severus, and looking between the two of them said in a conciliatory tone, “I am sure the three of us will worth things out. Who knows? Perhaps we will become the best of friends.” He proceeded to turn Severus around and engage him in a searing kiss, effectively showing Harry his place.

Harry staggered back as if he’d been slapped. His heart contracted painfully in his chest at the sight. Theo also found the display of intimacy repulsive. The post hadn’t been so bad, before now despite Hastings, but now his way of proving his ownership of Severus struck him as crass.

Even worse was darkening of Severus’s gaze and the groan he apparently couldn’t suppress.

Theo watched Harry with sympathy as the man pretended he didn’t care.

“Are you sure you want the two of them doing this to you?”

“Don’t worry. I can handle Hastings. Come on. I”ll walk you outside.” As they said their goodbyes, Harry spoke quietly to his friend. “That was absolutely not normal for Severus. There’s something fishy about it if you ask me. I’m not leaving until I figure out what Hastings is doing to make Severus act like an idiot who does what he’s told and makes a chump of himself.”

“Oh come on, it’s not that bad.” Theo defended Severus automatically, though in point of fact he didn’t seem like the man whose arrogance he used to suffer, not long ago.

“Give my regards to Pansy and keep my place warm at the ministry.” 

“You can count on it, Harry. And you watch out for yourself and Severus, too. Even if he is an ass, the threats he’s getting are real. Keep an eye out. I can’t imagine Hastings standing in front of a bullet for Severus if it comes to that.”

“Did you ever find out who poisoned his food?” Harry changed the subject. He didn’t want to talk about Hastings and Severus anymore.

“No. It definitely wasn’t Kreacher. We questioned him under veratiserum. All we found out was that someone came to the door the day of the poisoning. They rang while Kreacher was cooking and he went to answer and no one was there. It sounds like someone snuck in the back while Kreacher was called away.”

“It’s amazing how easy it is to do something like that.” Harry shook his head at the nerve of it.

“Let me know if there’s anything you need, Harry. The whole department is there for you.”

“Of course, the minute I find out anything, I’ll let you know.”

Theo hurried home to give his wife an update and Harry was left alone at last.

He closed the front door and checked all of the windows and doors on the first floor before going heading upstairs for bed.

Outside the library, he lingered for a moment before barging ahead, interrupting Hastings and Severus in what he could tell from a quick glance was the beginning of a fondling session.

“I just need to nip in and check the windows.” Harry kept his voice profession even while he longed to punch Hastings in the face. Once he’d looked over everything to his satisfaction, he closed the door quietly and melted back through the castle.

He lay for awhile in bed, unable to sleep, listening to the noises rising up from the library that crowded out any other fantasy he might have entertained.

It was a good thing he could not see Hasting’s triumphant grin. Hastings was so excited by the success of his domaninance over Severus, demonstrated just now over the arm of the sofa where he took him. He did so enjoy giving a little performance for Potter in the guest room. Not that Severus wasn’t entertaining in himself, but he did owe the auror something for his efforts. As he screamed out his orgasm he thought he could hear the slight thud of a fist hitting the wall.

He smiled down at Severus, only just now recovering from his ride.

“I love you, Severus. Tell me that you love me, too.”

“I love you, Terrance,” came the monotone response. “I cannot get enough of you and your scent.”

Severus bent over his lover and licked his skin, taking in the essence of him through all his senses.


	21. Ultimatum

“Listen Hastings, I’m neither your servant nor your pack mule. However unsafe you might find Diagon Alley, you can certainly carry your bags yourself.”

Harry stood bristling in front of the apothecary with various potions ingredients in his hands. The man got to him. Somehow Hastings plucked his every nerve and Harry couldn’t help reacting. This whole showcasing of his relationship with Severus, for instance, that they were always putting on, never saying a word, mind you, just staring meaningfully at him, it bugged the hell out of him.

And when Hasting’s finally suggested he make himself useful while he did his shopping, Harry just hadn’t been able to take it anymore. 

“Now, now, Auror Potter. No need to be so sensitive. You are here for our aid, after all.”

“I am not here for you, Hastings. I don’t give a shit about you. It’s Severus whose safety matters to me, even if I can’t quite remember why lately.”

Harry let all of his frustration free in the look he gave the man.

“In fact I am beginning to wonder what exactly the source if his danger is. What are planning to do with Severus, Hastings? What do you want to make happen with your wiles?”

“That’s nothing to do with you, Auror Potter. You are here to ensure that he comes to no harm -poisoned or pursued or what have you-and that ‘s all. How I conduct my relationship with Severus is not up for discussion.”

Severus who found the topic embarrassing, especially as it approached fighting over his person, merely murmered,

“I don’t believe Potter is interested in the nature of our understanding.” He turned to Harry and added in a harsher tone. “See to your work, Potter. My romantic life is none of your concern.”

It was certainly no coincidence that it was at this juncture that Harry’s private life broke through his professional life, making a soap opera of the whole thing, his very own As the World Turns.

Blaise “just happened” to pop out of the store next to the apothecary and headed over to Harry, walking right between Harry and Severus just as they were getting their backs up for more heated words.

“Oh darling, could I have a word with you for a mo’? It’s very important.”

Although Harry was furious at Blaise’s interruption he didn’t want to show it in front of Hastings. The second they were three seconds away, he turned on him.

“How dare you come here and interfere when I’m working! I told you what my assignment was. You should know the last thing I need is you making scenes because you’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous,” Blaise pouted. He hadn’t thought Harry would be so mean. “It’s just that I got something in the mail today for you. It was enclosed in a letter addressed to me, you know, but I didn’t read it. Here.”

“How did you know where to find me, Blaise?” Harry, suddenly suspicious, caught Blaise’s eyes, but he saw no sign of guilt there.

“Kreacher told me you meant to go to Diagon Alley, so I came here to bring you the note. I thought it might be important.”

“Blaise! An owl would certainly have found me sooner than you did, so cut the crap and admit it. You can’t stand that I’m spending so much time around Severus, right? You got jealous and overreacted.”

Harry glared at his boyfriend while Blaise attempted to kiss him. 

While he was fawning over Harry, Blaise surprised himself. He really was jealous! It wasn’t part of the plan.

“Are you crazy?” Harry growled, turning his face away so that Blaise’s kiss didn’t reach his lips. “Not now, Blaise. Thank you for delivering the letter, now you really have to go. I’m working, you understand?”

Harry was already turning aside when Blaise called out to him and he had to turn back to hear the words.

“You’re only acting like this because your ex-lover is watching us. Don’t try to deny it. I’ve seen the way you look at him.” His voice was angry now.

“Blaise, this is certainly not the place to...”

“Oh no, Harry. Don’t make me out to be an idiot. This is exactly the place to kiss you. If you love me, Harry, you need to show me here and now, in the open. You need to kiss me where everyone can see that you belong to me. I’ve had enough of this secret relationship bullshit. I want all of you, Harry. Do you understand?”

Blaise pulled Harry close and kissed him full on the mouth. Harry prevented him from sticking his tongue in his mouth, but only just.

“Let go!” Harry commanded, voice laced with fury, as once again he turned his face away from Blaise. “Let go of me or you’ll regret it. I don’t know what’s gotten into you that you think you can show up here and give me an ultimatum. I am not your property.”

It was intolerable. Harry’s voice rose in volume as he railed at Blaise under the watchful eyes of Severus and Hastings.

And then Rita Skeeter rounded the corner, accompanied by her photographer, as always hot on the trail of whatever sensational story she could find.

“Oh Richard, this is too good. Get a nice close up, would you? Whoever gave us this tip should get a Merlin First Class.”

Harry yanked himself free of Blaise’s grip and hurried over to where he had left Severus and Hastings watching the scene. Their obvious amusement infuriated him even more and he whirled to face Severus, still raging.

“Let’s get out of here. I’ve had enough of this.”

“I don’t think so, Potter,” Hastings said. “We’re expected at the bookstore. Surely you know what it means when an author has to promote a book. I know fine literature doesn’t mean much to you, personally, but you should know how important it is for a writer to attend these things.”

Hastings sneered at Harry as if he were the lowliest of servants and laughed his typical, smothered laugh as he indicated the door.

“If you wouldn’t mind doing your job, Auror Potter. You can handle your personal problems on your own time.”

Harry had to close his eyes and count to 50 not to attack the man where he stood. Even then it was the bewildered look on Severus’s face that stopped him, as he looked from Harry over at Blaise in apparent shock. 

Something was happening behind those dark eyes. Harry recognized the sign that his ex was churning an idea in his mind. For the first time since the hospital, his old lover’s eyes were alive and they were alight with something like anger.

Hastings also noticed Severus’s expression. His brow wrinkled with concern and he grabbed Severus by the arm, speaking with a particular, commanding tone, 

“Severus! Stop wool gathering. Your fans are waiting for you.”

As if waking from a dream, Severus snapped to, and followed behind his partner where he was marching off in the direction of the bookstore.

Harry glared a last time at Blaise before following after.

He had plenty of time to look over the suspicious letter once they were inside the bookstore. Hastings was quite serious, it turned out, about Severus’s duties to his readers and they followed a lengthy program. Harry sank his gaze over the lines and recognized with horror another message from Narcissa Malfoy. This time she wanted to meet. Now.

As if she knew exactly where Severus would be.

The hairs stood up on the back of Harry’s neck. He looked around until he saw her, a blonde woman in a low brimmed hat, observing him with apparent amusement. As his gaze fell on her she nodded to the nearest door and left.

Harry knew what she wanted. To get him alone. But that was not going to happen. He had no intention of leaving this place without Severus.

With more calm than he felt, he took out his wand and walked slowly up to Severus. Harry was going to get him out of here and it was not going to wait till after the autograph signing was finished.

As soon as he’d reached Severus’s side, he turned and addressed the crowd in a loud voice.

“I apologize for the disturbance, but, unfortunately Mr. Snape will not be able to sign any more books this evening.” He leaned over where Severus was sitting so that he could hear how serious he was.

“Please don’t argue with me. I have cause for concern....very good cause,” he emphasized to Hastings, who looked like he was about to barge in.

“Very well, Auror Potter. Have it your way.”

Hastings turned to the public and apologized for the interruption in the scheduled event. It seemed there were family obligations that had arisen, but he would be more than happy to arrange an alternative date...

While Hastings was busy talking, Harry grabbed Severus by the arm and guided him out of the building. He didn’t miss the goons that Narcissa had doubtless planted in the back of the bookstore. At least they didn’t look like the kind of people who were interested in potions. These were battle hardened men. Harry recognized their type from their clothes and the way they held themselves with their hands half way up their sleeves so that they could get at their wands in an instant. 

“No matter what happens, Severus,”. Harry made an effort to control his voice the way they had trained in the academy, so as not to spook his charge. “Just keeping walking, OK? Don’t stop.”

Severus himself did not seem very impressed with Harry’s Auror routine.

“I can defend myself perfectly well, Potter. Or maybe you’ve forgotten my part in the war? I’m not a helpless child and I would thank you not to treat me like one.”

“My God, Sev. You think I don’t know that? There are just too many of them. Our only chance is to get to George and Ron’s shop and call the Aurors from there. We need back up.”

It looked like they would make it to the joke shop in time. They almost made it. But Narcissa knew the layout of the area and had planned ahead. Just outside of his friends’ door she appeared with her troops and called him out.

“Mr. Potter! You disappoint me. All I wanted was to speak with you for minute. No, reason the be so rude. I promise I won’t do anything to you.”

Harry mistrusted how she chose her words. She had promised not to hurt him. She hadn’t said anything about Severus or Hastings. Accordingly he held his distance, his wand pointed at her.

“I’ll talk with you, Narcissa, but only after I’ve conducted Mr. Snape safely to my friends’ door.”

It seemed that Ron and George had gotten ahold of the situation from inside as they chose that moment to come out, disregarding the four raised wands to meet Harry’s questioning gaze. They told him what he wanted to hear.

“We’ve just called the Aurors,” Ron called out, his eyes hard on Narcissa Malfoy.

Harry breathed a sigh of relief.

“Could you take care of Severus?” He ignored Hasting’s huff as he spoke to his friends. “Do you think you can guarantee his safety?”

“With our lives, Harry. We promise you.”

George saw in Harry’s face that there was something else, something he wouldn’t like. “What’s going on?”

“Mrs. Malfoy doesn’t want to kill me. She wants to talk. So I’ll be going with her...”. 

Harry lowered his wand. Ron and Severus had disappeared into the shop, closely followed by George. In that moment, there was a popping noise from several meters away. The ministry aurors were apparating in. The reinforcements had arrived.

Narcissa was fast as lightening.

She ran and grabbed him by the arm, disapparating even as the aurors were raising their wands for a fight.

Harry only had time to snatch a quick glance at a Hastings. He was trying to get into the joke shop, but the wards held and he couldn’t make it. There wasn’t time to see more.

Everything began to spin around him and he was sucked into whatever place it was Narcissa had chosen to drag him to.

She released him from her arms. Elegant as ever, she indicated the house before them. “After you, Mr. Potter. I would like to speak to you about my husband and my son.”

Harry tried to tamp down the nausea he felt and walked cautiously to the door. He knew it was a mistake to trust this woman. However he was eager to hear what she wanted. “Mr. Potter!” Again, Narcissa indicated a door. This one led to a well appointed dining room, where attentive elves were busy offering refreshments.

Harry turned his glass in his hands without drinking anything as he waited.

“What do you really want, Narcissa?”

“I thought I made myself clear. I want my husband and my son to be released from Azkaban.”

“I’m sorrry, Mrs. Malfoy. They may be family to you, but they are Deatheaters. They were tried and found guilty. You know your husband and your son are both serving life sentences. I can’t do anything about that. It’s the law! 

“I don’t care about the law, Mr. Potter.” Narcissa smiled as she said it. “Originally I had planned to have you move Lucius out of the the highsecurity cells by official means, so that Draco could plan their escape from there. I didn’t want to implicate them. They are precious to me.”

“But once Draco saw his father, he realized he wouldn’t survive much longer in prison. And so I had to change my plans. I’m afraid I need you in order to free Lucius and Draco.”

“That’s just not possible, Mrs. Malfoy. I don’t have that much influence. In any case, why would I want to help them?”

“For the simple reason that I am the only person who can help you get rid of Terrence Hastings.”

“As tempting as that offer sounds, I am not for sale. I cannot free your family.”

“Oh but you will, Mr. Potter. I’m sure you will rethink your decision when you see the other incentive I’ve provided.”

She swept her hand to where a pensive lay waiting. “Go ahead, Harry. Take a look. I’m sure you will want to revise your thinking.”

Harry knew that this no jest; he hurried over to the bowl. Without thinking it over first, he dunked himself into the memories and immediately was awash in a horrific scene.

Hermione lay tied up on a bed. She was unable to scream, but cradled her belly as if torn by pain. Next to her was Sirius, also tied up and chained to a chair, where he seemed to be struggling to reach Hermione.

And then Harry recognized another man who lay comatose on the floor. Thomas.

His heart went out to his godfather. He could see the pain in his eyes as he tried and failed to help.

Harry pulled himself back out of the pensieve, to find himself face to face with Narcissa. She gave a triumphant laugh.

“What do I have to do?” Harry looked down at the floor. He knew he would do whatever she asked.

“Get my husband and my son out of Azkaban and I will give you the antidote to save your godfather’s partner and your pregnant friend.”

“If you fail then I will be happy to let you watch while Thomas and Miss Granger die. And it would be my pleasure to make sure that your godfather has to watch as all of the life drains out of your friends.”

Without a word, Harry turned and walked away, out of the house. There was nothing more he could say unless it was to scream.

And so he missed the two men who had come running to Narcissa the moment he was out of sight.

“Blaise, Terrence! Are you here already? Mr. Potter had to leave us, I’m afraid, but I’m sure we’ll hear from him again soon.”


	22. Taking on Azkaban

“Do you trust me, Gwaine?”

“You know I do, Harry, but I can’t release the Malfoys from Azkaban just like that. They’re Death Eaters, damnit! How can you ask me to fly in the face of the law and simple common sense?”

Gwaine stared at Harry as if through the force of his gaze he could imprint on Harry some reason to give up on his insane plan. 

They had been at it for hours in Gwaine’s office, along with Theo, who wouldn’t leave his friends and Ron, who had gone very pale, but held his place.

Harry stared them all down. There was no way he was going to sacrifice his friends just to keep two prisoners in their cells.

“Sirius, Hermione and Thomas are not going to be left to die because I am not supposed to be able to force the people at Azkaban to do anything.”

“Harry!”

“No, Gwaine. There has to be a solution and it has to be one that doesn’t cost Hermione and Thomas and Sirius their lives!”

Ron sat there, his hands balled in impotent fury, while Theo, sat close to his friend in the hopes of lending moral support, watched the two aurors have at it.

It was Gwaine’s secretary who interrupted the screaming match, knocking gingerly on the door first before she dared enter.

“Pardon the interruption, Sir, but we’ve reached the Minister of Magic and he says he’s on his way.”

Harry forced himself to take deep calming breaths as Fudge strode in, not even bothering to say hello before he laid into them.

“What’s on fire that I had to drop everything for you people? This had better be good. I had to cancel a very important meeting and you know how I hate that, Robards.”

“I need your signature on a release form, Minister Fudge.” Harry came straight to the point, cutting short the minister’s tirade.

“Of course it’s you again, Mr. Potter. Whenever there’s some special problem that only I can solve, you’re bound to be there. So what is it that can’t wait this time?” He demanded, cold eyes on Harry’s. Harry returned the look double- fold.

“I’m asking for your signature, Minister. I’m asking you to sign the form releasing Draco and Lucius Malfoy from Azkaban.”

“Are you crazy? You know I do not pardon Death Eaters! There is no way I should have been dragged here for such a ludicrous request.” Fudge seemed as if he were about to leave with these last angry words in the air, when Harry’s voice rang out.

“I never asked for anything in return for killing Voldemort, you know. I was ready to do whatever it took to free the magical world from that monster. But now I’m asking. And for the last time. Do this for me.”

Harry stilled, his gaze inward, his eyes on nothing in particular. Then a shudder seemed to go through him and he enunciated every word. “I am not asking, Minister Fudge. I am demanding. I demand the release of Lucius and Draco Malfoy.” 

Now he looked at everyone there, imploring. “There are lives at stake, Sir. We caught the Malfoy’s before and we can do it again. But my friends and family, they only have this one chance. They will die if we don’t do anything. I have no choice and neither do you. Not unless you want me to go to Azkaban myself and raze it to the ground. I’ll denounce you to the entire wizarding world if I have to. I’ll...

Fudge took Harry’s measure for a moment and then seemed to collapse in on himself.

“What happened, Harry?” His voice was quiet and for first time since he took office he showed no resentment of the hero of the wizarding world, who commanded the sympathy of the people where he could not.

It was Ron who answered, hoping that his calm tone would convince the minister that they were deadly earnest .

“My wife and Harry’s godfather have been captured by the Death Eaters, along with a muggle. They say if the Malfoys aren’t released there are all going to die. It’s no ideal threat. Mrs. Malfoy means every word.”

“Lord Black is being held captive?” Fudge seemed to change his mind in the instant, reaching for the quill and signing without another word. “Why didn’t you say so to begin with?”

Grateful for the outcome, Harry bit his tongue. There was no point reminding Fudge that his godfather had given his title over to Harry long ago. The important thing was he could finally get to Azkaban. He quickly rolled up the documents and tucked them in his robe before turning to the group.

 

“I’m taking the release form now. As soon as the Malfoys are on safe ground, Narcissa will contact me. Please don’t try to detain them until we have the antidote safely in our hands.” He didn’t want to say it, but it was best to be clear. “What you do after is up to you, but until then, I’m begging you, please don’t attack, no matter what happens.”

“We’re backing you in this Harry and I’m sure the Minister is as well.” Gwaine Robards clapped him on the shoulder. “We’ll make it work, Harry. Together. Just like in the war. So don’t worry. Just concentrate on the task in front of you.”

Ron stood up as Harry walked past.

“I have to come with you, Harry. I have to see my wife.”

“No, Ron. You’re not trained for this. Stay with George and leave Hermione to me. I’ll do everything I can to get her away from those deatheaters. I promise.”

Harry knew how his friend must feel, but he couldn’t take the risk.

“Don’t worry. I’m not letting Harry out of my sight.” Theo had stood up and was at Ron’s side. “You’re not going alone. I’m coming with you and nothing you say can stop me.”

Harry was more than happy to have him, actually. It was Ron who was the liability, always so impulsive, especially where Hermione was concerned.

“Is Severus safe?” The question was for the head of the Auror devision, not his friend. Robards knew he wanted his guarantee there and not an airy promise that amounted to nothing.

“The second you left, George released the wards and let our men in. We have him and Hastings, who was quite put out by the way, that he couldn’t get in before. They’ve been accompanied back to Spinner’s End where there is a troop of Auror’s assigned to their protection.

“Thank you Gwaine. That means a lot to me.”

“Just do what you have to do at Azkaban and leave Severus to me.”

Harry nodded and left the office, closely followed by Theo.

******

There was a howling wind the entire way to the island of Azkaban, but Harry and Theo hardly noticed it . Each man was lost in his own thoughts, only dimly aware of the swells that rocked the boat, sometimes pushing them dangerously close to the rocks.

The island warden who had taken over the duty of managing the prison from the dementors after the war, peered at them suspiciously as he looked over the release papers. For once Harry was glad to have a well known face, as he doubted the orders would have been honored otherwise.

“These two have certainly done nothing to earn a release. I can’t imagine what Fudge means by this.” Said the jailor who unlocked the doors for them, indicating to Draco that he could help his father to stumble through.

Harry and Theo watched as Draco took his father’s weight, silent, as he led them down the long corridor towards freedom. He didn’t say a word until the boat had left the shores of Azkaban far behind.

“Well, Potter,” Draco sneered. “I don’t get it. Mother told me she was working a new angle but I never would have believed this. What did she have on you to get you to help us?”

“Shut up, Malfoy, “ Theo jumped in, still keeping half an eye on the man at the rudder, to make sure that he wouldn’t turn traitor and return them all to shore. “Your entire family is vile. Don’t tempt me to express that opinion by punching you in the face.”

“Oh look who’s being all brutal. Threatening to hit me and everything,” Draco scoffed. Lucius Malfoy began to shiver and he took off his coat and laid it over his father’s shoulders.

“You’re with Severus Snape, right?” Lucius interrupted his son with a shaky voice, turning red swollen eyes towards Harry. Neither of them acknowledged what was going on between Draco and Theo.

“No, we broke up.” Harry answered without thinking, shocked as he realized from Lucius’s reaction that the question had been one of genuine interest. Maybe it was the fever making him chatty?

“That’s too bad, Mr. Potter. You made a nice couple. That’s what I always told my wife, though she didn’t agree with me. Severus Snape is a good man, Mr. Potter, a very good man.”

“It’s OK, Dad. Let’s talk about something else, yeah?” Draco’s voice was gentle as he tried to curb his father’s nattering but he glared at his former classmate. “My father is sick. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Harry didn’t answer. He stared at Draco for a moment and then returned his attention the rise and fall of the waves.

“We don’t want to hurt you, Potter. Mother and I agree that we owe you something. We’re letting you have the lives of the mudblood and your godfather as payment of our life debt.

“You tortured them, you piece of shit! Hermione is pregnant and Thomas is an innocent muggle. If you’ve hurt even a hair on one of their heads I will hunt you down and kill you with my own hands...If something happens to one of them Draco, so help me God...” Harry didn’t say any more. Fear of what was happening to Hermione and his godfather choked the words in his throat. They spent the rest of the journey in absolute silence.

Theo kept a close eye on his friend. He knew Harry and how he refused to put a limit on what he’d do to make things right. He wanted to make sure Harry didn’t start anything foolish.

But Harry wasn’t thinking foolish thoughts. His head was full of fury and revenge. As long as Hermione and Thomas and Siris were safe, however, there was no danger. As long as he knew they were safe, he wouldn’t lose control.

No sooner had they set foot on dry land, then they were surrounded by masked wizards. They pulled Draco and his father into their circle and Harry watched as one of the masked men leaned over Lucius and spoke quiet commands.

“Quickly. It has to be done right away.”

He took the man for a trained healer, a guess that was confirmed when he started to cast diagnostic spells on Draco and Lucius. 

“I’m find, Devon,” said Draco, pushing the healer’s hand away. “Let’s just get out of here.”

“Where is the antidote?” Harry pointed his wand at them, blocking their way.

“The antidote is waiting at Spinner’s End,” the man called Devon said. He was already bracing Lucius Malfoy up, ready to leave. “I would recommend you hurry if you don’t want your friend to die. The antidote and also the coordinates to the place where your friends are waiting are set to self destruct in ten minutes if the portkey isn’t activated. You have no time to lose.”

“I’m going to find you and destroy you, you son of a bitch...”

Harry called out to Theo as the portkey took them out. “Tell Gwaine. I’ll get the coordinates. I’ll report as soon as I have the information.”

Once the door to Spinner’s End appeared in front of him, he raced inside, ignoring the dizziness and nausea from the portkey and found himself in a crowd of aurors.

“Quick! Where are the coordinates and the antidote?” There was no time to stop and explain.

“I think they must be in this package that should up a few minutes before you,” one of them said, handing him a small, unremarkable packet.

Harry tore it open and stared at the piece of paper and the accompanying yellow vial. He held up a map and compared. Focusing his eyes made his head throb. He rubbed his temples absently. If only this were over and he could crawl into bed. Harry sighed the feeling away and looked again. Surprised, he realized he knew the place well, some place he would never have guessed.

*****

“Shit, Theo,” he said to his friend, as he clambered after him into the fireplace. “What does Narcissa have to do with Chesters? Can you tell me why she would have picked this place? Does she want to provoke me somehow, or is it just a coincidence?”

“Who knows what motivates that woman?” Theo said, staring down at the place on the map that Harry had circled in red. “But we can’t waste time worrying about it.”

Harry didn’t answer right away. He knew his guilt was on his face. He quelled Severus with a cold look, but Hastings looked speculative.

“I’m sorry, Theo. I can’t help wondering. Please keep Hastings away from Severus if you can. And watch out for him. Please.”

With these words he disappeared with a pop, tumbling out into Chesters.

Harry didn’t hear the outburst from Severus, but Theo caught the brunt of it. He stared astonished at the man.

“Damn it all, Theodore. Can’t you keep Harry out of trouble for even a moment? It was obvious he was about to go off half cocked the way he does. Can you tell me how he’s supposed come back out of this in one piece?”

Severus expression was unmistakably worried even as he shouted.

“Don’t get involved, darling.” Hastings took Severus by the hand, laying a kiss on the knuckles and led him into the bedchamber. He gave the aurors stationed outside a dirty look as he passed.

“I hope you let us get some rest. My partner and I need our sleep if we’re going to be good for anything tomorrow.”

His hand was gentle as he pushed Severus on the bed. After a few gestures on his part, Severus began to murmur tender words. He didn’t contradict them, but gave him a night of pleasure.

Yet Severus’s awareness of Harry hardly faded, no matter how fast and furiously he rammed into Hasting’s hole, a torture the man seemed to enjoy. The glittering off his eyes, as he groaned and came all over Severus’s hand betrayed how much. But Severus did not feel the same way.

Hastings fell sound asleep immediately after, whereupon Severus found himself wondering out of nowhere what on earth had become of him that he wanted to screw this man.

He had no idea how Terrence had compelled him to fall head over heels in love with him.

Furious at himself and his own responses, he sat up and surveyed his naked body. His flaccid penis stuck to his thigh because apparently he had never found it important to perform a cleaning spell on himself or even to wash the semen from his hands. That was not like him. He didn’t know what he was doing.

He turned to Terrence and found he could barely stand to look at the man to say nothing of breathe in his odor. Disgusted, he stood up, threw something on and swept out of the room.

Theo, who was waiting nervously for a signal from Harry, looked up astonished as Severus strode into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water with shaking hands.

“What the hell is wrong with me, Theo? What has this man done to me?”


	23. To Break Free

With no time to waste on checking if it was safe first, Harry marched directly into Chesters. It was only sparsely populated at that hour, but it looked completely normal. There was no trace of Hermione or his godfather anywhere.

He spied Frank at the back bar with a pint in front of him, immersed in conversation with his neighbor and made a beeline for his ex-lover.

“Frank! Have you seen Edward?” He called without pausing to say hello. He kept his voice neutral and his poker face on.

“And why do you want to know?” Frank on the other hand made it clear from his tone that he still harbored a grudge over how things were left between them. “What are you even doing here? I’d just as soon punch that face as see it to tell the truth. I really don’t want to talk to you, so could you just piss off?”

“Frank, this is really important. I don’t have time for your wounded vanity. Just tell me where the hell I can find Carrington!” This time the look in Harry’s eyes made it clear that he meant business.

“He’s back in the kitchen. The cook never showed up to work today and Edward had to step in for him. He’s in a real foul mood about it.”

“Thanks.” Harry forced his tone back to neutral again. He knew that Frank had really been interested in him, had loved him even, or thought he did. “If you want, one of these days we can sit down together and I can explain why there was never a chance for us, but at the moment I don’t have time, unfortunately.”

Frank’s eyes softened. He laughed wryly and nodded. “Well let me know when you have a spare moment.”

“I promise. You’ll hear from me.”

Harry hurried behind the door and pushed through the door that led into the kitchens.

“Edward, you have to tell me. Have you rented any rooms or handed out any keys in the last few days?” Harry was already asking even as he found himself in the middle of another situation where a greeting might have been a good idea.

Edward seemed delighted to see one of his favorite guests again. “Harry!” He noticed Harry’s pale face and agitated demeanor and chose politely to pretend he hadn’t. “It’s nice of you to stop by. Ever since you met Blaise we never see you around here.”

“Edward. There’s no time. Have you rented a room or not?”

“Well, yes I have, actually. It was the first time in a while anyone wanted a room for longer than a few hours.”

Harry knew what he meant and had no interest in the gossip. Edward sighed and continued. “There was a group of guys who rented the suite on the second floor a few days ago. You know the one. I showed it to you when I renovated it. It’s really romantic with two bedrooms that share a lounge. If I didn’t love my own place so much I’d...”

“Please, Edward, get to the point. I need to know who rented the suite.”

“These guys said they were holding some important meetings during which they didn’t want to be disturbed. They said it with a wink, if you know what I mean. I figured they’d engaged an escort service for afterwards, so the big clients had someone to keep them company in town, right? And since they paid in advance...”

Harry was already turning and hurrying towards the stairs. “Are they still there?” He called over his shoulder.

“Two of them left a few minutes ago. The rest I haven’t seen hide nor hair of since the first day. They must be terribly busy.” Edward’s wink made it clear he was imagining a wild orgy or at least an erotically themed party.

Harry only nodded, his mind already on the difficult scene ahead of him. The moment he reached the landing, he drew his wand from his pocket and ran down the hall to the suite .

It was only a few second before he crashed through the door.

*****

Theodore stared in astonishment at Harry’s ex.

“What do you mean, what has Hastings done to you? Shouldn’t you be asking what you’ve done to Harry? And about that. Why couldn’t you just leave him in peace? I know Harry cares about you and he wanted to help you no matter what, but you must know that the rest of us want to kill you for what you’re putting him through.”

Severus listened and stared at his hands, waiting for the words to come.

“Hastings, he...I mean I left Harry because...Hastings....He did something to me, something to make me dependent on him. But I don’t know what it was, Theo! You have to help me. I’m not myself! I can feel that I’ve been manipulated somehow but I can’t tell in what respect. I don’t know how he is doing it, only that he has.”

Theo regarded him with sympathy. True he’d started out listening with the mindset that the man deserved to suffer for all the shit he’d done to Harry, for what he’d done to them all really, but watching Severus sitting there with that bewildered look on his face he found himself wanting to help.

“Can you describe the feelings you have for Hastings? That might do to start.”

Theo wanted to give him a chance to prove he hadn’t thrown himself at Hastings from his own free will.

“It will require backtracking a little, to explain...” Severus began, somewhat embarrassed.

“Go right ahead. It’s not like we have anywhere else to be at the moment. And your lover can’t bother us while he’s sleeping. We should talk now. Who knows how much longer we have while you’re still more or less normal?”

“Don’t call him that.”

“Why not? Isn’t he the man you tossed Harry out of your bed for? I think we need to be honest with each other if we’re going to have this conversation.”

Severus had to concede that Theo was right. He couldn’t expect consideration from Harry’s friends after everything he had done to Harry. He forced himself to continue. There was no comfortable way to say what he had to say.

“I was angry when Harry told me completely out of the blue one day that he had enrolled in a training program, that he was going to leave his profession and pursue a career in the Auror corps. It was no small anger. I’m afraid I harbored it for longer than even I knew.”

Severus surrounded once more by the feelings of fury and indignation that his words invoked, found it difficult to go on.

“It is hard to describe the humiliation I felt at his subsequent success. It sounds childish now that I say the words out loud. I felt I ...paled in comparison, but I could not admit my weakness to Harry, to suffer his reassurance. I was angry at Harry, but I could not tell him of my anger.”

“It was at this juncture that Terrence came into my life, just a few weeks before Harry left for Paris. I met him at the first meeting with my publisher. Terrence was just wonderful going out of his way to introduce me to the right people and to ensure my own success as an author. He was intelligent, well spoken, everything in short that I admire wrapped up in one rather attractive package. Can you understand? I never questioned it. Everything to do with Terrence was so damned easy. Everything between us just made sense...and then suddenly there was more.”

“At first it was just the odd dinner. We met by coincidence, got to talking more and more, until we finally arranged to meet the day Harry left for Paris. It wasn’t all wine and roses, mind you. He’s not that type. It was just dinner at his house, followed by a nightcap at his local...Wait a second. Now that I think of it, that was the first time that I began to feel odd when I was around him...”

“I don’t think I need all the details,” Theo interjected hastily, “ Just stick to the bare facts, alright?” As comfortable as Theo felt talking about sex with his good friend Harry, sitting at his old professors’ house going over his exploits with a lover was another story.

“Come now, Mr. Nott. I know you press Harry for all the juicy details whenever you have one of your little gossip sessions; there’s no call to be missish now. If I need to talk to you about sex, you’ll just have to put up with it.”

Severus was quite serious, though he hid a smile at Theo’s pained expression. What had he and Hastings got up to that first night? Thinking back he recalled that they had talked about Harry for a while. It was after that he first had the sensation of not being entirely present and of a voice, intense and penetrating speaking to him softly of a certain scent, telling his to obey until his head was spinning with it. And then he couldn’t discern what was reality and what a seamless nightmare.

All at once Severus understood what had been done to him. Furious, he rose from his chair and began to pace about the room.

“That son of a bitch hypnotized me! Damn his eyes! Where is the bastard, Theo?” Severus’ jaw dropped as the full extent of what had been done to him became clear. “I gave up Harry because of a hypnotist...I can’t believe I was such an ass. I wouldn’t have imagined such a thing and that’s why it succeeded. I’m an idiot!”

The longer Severus went on the less he could credit the sheer nerve of Hastings to try to manipulate him of all people that way. Hastings had approached him at a time when he was vulnerable to flattery, true, but that didn’t excuse it. He, master of Legilimency and Occulmency had been helpless against ordinary muggle methods of suggestion

“Merlin, Theodore, that man has power over my mind. A simple word or gesture or in this case a scent will act as a suggestion. He can control me whenever he likes.”

Theodore, who was only just catching up with what was wrong with Severus, got up and joined him, speaking in his old friendly way for the first time since the break up.

“We have to get out of here as soon as possible. If what you say is true, you are in grave danger.”

“I can’t go now. Harry needs us. He’s let Narcissa reel him in and he will helpless before her. He does’t have it in him to harm a woman, however evil.”

Severus memories were rearranging themselves as he spoke, and he saw again what he had suppressed before, the time when he and Harry had gotten to know each other and fallen in love. A smile played on his lips. His thoughts stretched further into his subconscious mind and he remembered things he didn’t know he knew.

Once again he stopped short, the days of his youth rising up from where they had been trapped in the darkness and coming before his mind’s eye. His eyes grew wide as the sorrow and fury followed, now that he knew all that was his that had been ripped away. And who had done it.

“My god, Theo. I was bonded to Lucious Malfoy! We were going to declare our feelings and Narcissa put herself between us. She obliviated us and we forgot what we’d been to each other.”

His voice wavered between his fury and his disbelief. Theo, listening, could hardly wrap his mind around it either.

“Are you saying Narcissa helped Hastings? Because she’d done it before?”

“Not exactly. She planted the first door in my consciousness. And it lay there for years until Hastings came along and opened it. He could never have manipulated me in such a foul, cowardly way if not for her. One small tear in the fabric of my mind and everything I believed in, everything I lived for has been destroyed.”

Theodore felt terrible for the proud man, but he needed to move and now. He was opening his mouth to tell him so for the second time, when Kreacher appeared with a loud pop.

“Please, Master Severus...Master Nott is right. You have to leave this place and save yourself. Master Hastings...he...”

The elf stuttered to a stop, tears of frustration falling over his face as he was unable to speak the rest of the words. Severus himself had commanded him to follow Master Hastings’ orders as if they were his own. He searched the room for some way to punish himself for going this far. Severus saved him.

“Kreacher, I command you to cease listening to Terrence Hastings. You are no longer bound to obey that man. You are my elf and your loyalty belongs only to me...to me and Harry James Potter.” He added the last bit hastily as was acutely aware for the first time in a long time that it was Harry’s elf he had before him.

The door opened, interrupting them. Terrence Hastings came in, took one look at the horror on Severus’ face and knew he had been exposed. But still he did not panic. He could minimize the damage. Wasn’t he a master of manipulation? There was nothing here he couldn’t fix.

Loud and ominous came the words that Severus recognized but could not resist. Theo, too, found he could not move, his feet nailed to the ground. He was forced to look on with Kreacher as Hastings spoke.

YOU WILL WANT ME. THIS WILL BE YOUR LOVE: THAT EVERYTHING I AM WILL ENFLAME YOUR DESIRE. YOU WILL WANT ME WITH ALL YOUR SENSES. MY TOUCH, MY VOICE AND MY SCENT WILL CONSUME YOU. DON’T YOU LONG TO POSSESS ME? CAN’T YOU FEEL IT, SEVERUS?

And Severus could no longer think clearly. He was tumbling in the circle of Terrence’s lies. This man was everything he wanted and he needed to sink deep in his body. He went to his lover.

The triumphant laugh that Hastings shot at Nott over Severus’ head shook him to the core.

“No! Severus. Think. Come back to yourself. This isn’t real. You’ve shaken him off before, do it again!”

“Go away, Nott. You’re talking about the man I love. Leave us in peace.”

Severus took Hastings in his arms and enveloped him in a deep and shameless kiss, his hands wandering, then resting for good on his lover’s length, where they massaged ruthlessly until Hastings groaned with lust.

“Kreacher!” Hastings called. “Take care of the Auror. Make it look like an accident. But not here, please. Take care of it somewhere else. And then prepare something to eat. I imagine we’ll be hungry when we’re done.”

Severus groaned, his hand fumbling with the placket of Hastings’ trousers.

“What are you doing to me that this blind heat comes over me? Can you feel it? tThe blood is pounding in my loins.”

“It’s because of your love for me. You never loved Harry Potter like this.”

Theo thought he would retch as he was forced to witness Severus’ loss of consciousness, Hastings power and both of them salivating with lust. And then Hastings made a tactical error.

“Go on, then.” he turned to the elf. “Be a good elf and take care of your master. I command it.” 

With a fierce growl, the elf came back to life.

“You cannot tell Kreacher. Hastings is not Kreacher’s master. Kreacher’s master is Master Snape.

The elf used his elvish magic to push Hastings from Severus. And then placing one hand on Severus and the other under Theo’s armpit, he brought them all away from Spinner’s End.


	24. Out of Control

The door exploded and Harry stormed in like a hurricane. He’d overdone it and left splinters everywhere which might have been funny if the situation weren’t so serious. A quick glance confirmed that the lounge was empty, but one of the doors to the bedrooms was closed. Now he would find out if what he had done was worth it, if he could get the antidote to his friends in time.

A simple Alohmora sufficed to open the door and he entered, one eye on the exit, careful. No one was going to catch him by surprise. 

They were there. Once more he stood before his family and this time he had a chance to save them.

The sight was appalling. For a moment, Harry stood rooted to the ground, his mind lost in deja-vu. Except for the fact that Hermione and Thomas lay on the bed together, the scene was exactly the one Narcissa had shown him in the pensieve. They were bound tightly together, so that they could not defend themselves and their mouths were gagged. Sirius was blinking up at him in shock. The other two were unconscious.

The person who did it must have placed a silencing spell; Harry couldn’t understand the garbled sound his godfather was producing. The deep ruts on the floor beneath his chair, however, showed the effort Sirius had made to reach the two on the bed.

Sirius! Waking from his trance, Harry released his godfather’s bonds with a flick of wordless, wandless magic. Hermione was next. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sirius bent over Thomas, his posture mirroring Harry’s own as they loosened the gags and tried to hear their loved ones’ heartbeats.

“Hurry, Sirius! You have to try to get a few drops of this potion in him. It’s the antidote. And we’ve got to get it in his bloodstream as soon as possible. Massage his throat to get it down if doesn’t look like he can swallow on his own.”

Harry did the same to Hermione and prayed that he’d gotten there soon enough. After a few minutes, Thomas began to come to himself, but Hermione remained unresponsive, even when a diagnostic charm showed the antidote had reached her system.

“Come on, girl. Don’t hold out on me now, you hear?” Harry felt for her pulse again. Nothing. He pulled the jacket off of her torso and began CPR.

“Breathe, damn it!” He whispered. “Don’t do this. Your kids need you. Ron needs you. So come on now, love.”

Sirius held Thomas in his arms. Thomas didn’t have the strength to hold himself up yet, but the antidote was obviously working. He looked over at Harry, where he was breathing into Hermione’s mouth and pressing her chest. She didn’t seem to be so lucky.

“You’re doing OK, darling,” he said to Thomas. “Don’t try to move, though, alright?”

“Hermione!” Thomas croaked out her name, turning his head wildly as he searched for the girl he’d only just gotten to know before they shared this nightmare.

“I told you not to talk.” Sirius stroked Thomas’ hair gently, trying to calm him down. “Harry is helping Hermione now. I told you he trained as a healer, before. He knows what he’s doing.”

“Oh my God! What happened?” Edward Carrington had meant to pop in to see if he could be of help to Harry or his mystery guests. He stood in shock, staring at what was left of his favorite suite.

Harry turned around and barked between presses of Hermione’s chest.

“We need two healers, Edward. As soon as you possibly can. Now!”

Edward Carrington asked no questions, but hurried downstairs as fast as he could to call for help. 

Long after Harry and his friends had all apparated to St. Mungo’s, he and Frank were still trying to piece together what happened. 

*****  
“Kreacher, let go of me.” Severus wrested his arm from the irritating elf that had the nerve to haul him out of his home without so much as a by-your-leave. Harry’s friend, Nott, stood next to him, still trying to catch his breath. Elf magic was something else, strange and yet very, very effective.

Nott smiled at Kreacher. He knew exactly where the elf had brought them. No doubt Pansy would be in for a shock. Without wasting a word on explanations, Theo steered the still bristling potions master through his house, allowing Kreacher to fetch a few of Severus’ things.

“Please come back to stay, Kreacher,” he chuckled, just as Kreacher was about to disappear. “I’m sure my wife could use a little help with our new guest. But don’t show up before tomorrow morning. No doubt the second he’s had a chance to reflect, Snape will be telling you to bring him back home, so wait till he’s likely to be himself again.”

Kreacher gave a relieved nod and popped out. He would have resisted the command, actually. He couldn’t give in, knowing what it would do to Master Snape to return.

“And watch out for Hastings’ tricks!” Theo called out after him.

He was worried about the elf who must have borne so much at the hands of that man. Theo had seen the marks and knew that it wasn’t Snape who had made them. Severus would never have mishandled him that way.

There were considerable wards around Auror Nott’s house. Severus, finding himself unable to apparate out, began to stomp around in search of the floo, followed shortly by his host. He found the living room in the heart of the house and was immediately met by Pansy who had flown down two flights stairs at the sound of their arrival.

“Theo,”she cried, “have you heard anything about Hermione? Ron is beside himself and...”

Her voice trailed off when Theo shook his head. She let him take her gently aside and explained what powers had been brought to bear on the professor by his lover.

Pansy’s turned a sympathetic face to Severus, who was holding his aching head and glaring.

At least the pain allowed him to tune out the Notts. He was able to hear himself think. And such thoughts!. It felt as if his brain had been packed in wool and his thoughts covered with grey mist. Hastings....he loved Hastings who was everything he had ever desired...Why then did the thought of him raise up such feelings of repulsion? Why did the idea of sleeping with him seem so random and false?

Severus swayed where he stood and would have fallen to the floor if Theo hadn’t stuck out an arm in time and caught him. Theo led him, pale faced and shuddering, to a chair and asked his wife to bring a large glass of Ogden’s.

Soon the whisky was unfolding its warmth through Snape’s veins. Theo thought he caught the moment where the man returned to himself: There was a disgust in his eyes that he recognized from the conversation at Spinner’s End.

It was hard not to feel for him. Theo found himself torn for the first time between Severus and Harry. Theo was loyal to Harry of course. But which of them required his protection more? He would have to remain neutral to be fair. In any case, a crime had been committed and that was his concern here.

Pansy’s call for dinner saved him from there stress of this line of thought. He was glad she was able to keep the everyday rituals going. They were all beside themselves with worry, but they had to keep their heads. Theo knew Harry would never forgive him if he abandoned Severus in order to help him, to say nothing of what would happen to Severus if he fell prey to Hastings again. It seemed probable that he could. Nott didn’t know much about muggle things, but he doubted Severus was out of the woods, yet.

Pansy spent the dinner chatting away. Theo smiled at her, recognizing her trademark ability to coast over painful topics, but Severus seemed immune to her charm.

He didn’t touch his food and didn’t say a word. Instead he drank glass after glass of water. Pansy was always right there with the pitcher and Theo didn’t realize until Severus’ head fell forward that she must have laced it with a sedative. It was a daring move. Severus didn’t play around with things to do with potions and he had a sixth sense about such matters, ordinarily. It seemed Hastings had done more damage than they thought.

“Thank you, dear! I think this was the best thing that could happen.” He said, hoisting Severus over his shoulder and transporting him bodily to the spare bedroom. Pansy held open the door, while he dropped Severus on the bed. “He’s fragile right now. Until Hastings is eliminated, he’ll remain a danger to within his own mind. And now, maybe you’ve bought me enough time to look for Harry.”

However in the end it wasn’t necessary.

The minute they got back to the hall, Kreacher appeared with a shrunken trunk under his arm.

“Terrence Hastings is having fits!” He reported with unconcealed glee. His elf’s face showed his relief at his escape from the monster’s hands. “Master Hastings is packing all of his things and getting ready to dissapear from Spinner’s End.”

“Damn. Ok. I’m on it.” Theo cursed himself and his stupidity. He couldn’t let the man escape.

“Master Nott mustn’t worry. Kreacher has sealed Spinner’s with a special elf magic. Kreacher took the liberty of using Master Nott’s magical signature as the key. Only Master Nott and Kreacher can get in now. Terrence Hastings will stay put until we let him out.”

Kreacher’s pride in this coup was obvious and Theo couldn’t blame him. Thanks to the elf, Hastings would finally be arrested. Theo gave his wife a heartfelt kiss.

“Be careful. I doubt Severus will pull anything on you, but I don’t dare risk him at Mungo’s yet.”

“Mast Nott can take care of Terrence Hastings without worry,” Kreacher hastened to interrupt. “Kreacher will protect Mrs. Nott and watch over Master Snape.” He beamed, as he leaned over to give the Auror a word of advice. “Terrence Hastings is very strong with words. Oh yes. Master Nott must not let himself be drawn into a conversation with Terrence Hastings. Master Nott must use his fists. Terrence Hastings is weak in his body. Only when he can manipulate, is he dangerous.”

Kreacher opened the door where his master lay sleeping and said, “Master Potter is expecting you at the hospital, once Hastings has been captured. There was an owl from Master Potter that came just now, as Kreacher was getting ready to leave Spinner’s End. Kreacher read it.”

“You did the right thing, Kreacher.” Theo said, and meant it. Kreacher’s intervention was a stroke of good luck, indeed.

He apparated without haste to Spinner’s end and met no barriers, popping up in the kitchen right off. He could hear Hastings raging and screaming and tracked the sound to the hall where he found the man stood in front of the door. The bags around him were a testament to the failure of his most recent attempt to open the door.

Hasting was beside himself with rage. No one, especially not an elf, dared do such a thing to him.

“The minute I get my hands on you, you wretch...”

“Threats aren’t going to work, Hastings!”

Shocked, Terrence turned around to see Nott, staring at back at him with hatred in his eyes.

“I think you’ll regret those words, Auror Nott. When I’m done with you, you’ll wish we never met.”

“You’re threatening me?” Theo took his time walking up to the man. He knew he had to get close, and that meant playing to Hastings’ overconfidence. Hastings had to believe he had the upper hand. While Hastings warmed up his verbal assault, Theo kept going until he was right where he needed to be, in arm’s reach.

Without saying another word, Theo raised his fist and punched the man in the face. Hastings held his hands up, now, trying to protect himself, while Theo rained down blows without mercy. In the end that was all it took to overpower Terrence Hastings, an arrogant man who paid the price for his overestimation of himself.

Theo didn’t stop until Hastings lay unconscious on the floor.

“That’s enough. I’ll leave the rest for Harry. There’s no way you can get out of this one. You’ll get what you have coming to you. Harry will see to that, have no fear.”

Theo turned around and disapparated straight to St. Mungo’s without a second glance at Terrence Hastings.

He was led without ceremony to Hermione’s hospital room. Harry was there holding a sobbing Ron in his arms. Hugo and Rose were pressed close to their grandmother. Sirius and Thomas were no where in sight.

With a sinking feeling, Theo ran up to his friends.

“Oh no, what happened?”


	25. Revenge Part 1

“What happened?”

Harry watched Theo approach him and Ron. “Harry is it something with...?”

“Hermione. It’s Hermione, Theo. She’s in a coma. I was too late...” Harry broke off. It hurt too much to say the next part. “The baby...Hermione had a miscarriage and lost a lot of blood. The healers couldn’t save the fetus...Ron is devastated.” 

At the words, Ron collapsed and Theo ran up to lend him a shoulder. He felt helpless, knowing there was nothing he could do really except give moral support. Together he and Harry steered Ron to a chair as he started to shout.

“I need to see my wife, Harry. Why don’t you just let me go? I’m her husband, aren’t I? It’s my right to be with her now...!” Ron was working up a head of steam, stuck in his pain and anger. 

Rose lifted her head up from where it was buried on her grandmother’s shoulder. She wiped the tears off of her face with her small hands, gave a good sniff and clambered off the lap where she had been held safe.

The grownups watched with tired smiles as she made her way to her brother and tapped him on the back.

“Come on, Hugo. Daddy needs us now, so you’d better stop crying and come with me.”

“Daddy?” Rose had her father in her sights and didn’t wait for her brother’s response. The others made room so that she could make her way to where Ron sat, his face buried in his hands. The little girl stroked his hair and tried to reach her arms around him.

“Mommy’s going to be OK, Daddy. The man in the white robe said she’s just sleeping really hard and we’re going to see her again soon.”

Hugo spoke up. “Daddy’s sad because of the baby, Rose. Mommy isn’t going to have a baby anymore. That’s why he’s crying.”

“I know that, Hugo! I’m sad, too. But she can get another baby. Her tummy is still big enough for another one, right?”

The grown ups all found they had tears in their eyes. And the children’s words seemed to reach her father. Ron looked up and watched the way his son approached tentatively as if unsure of his welcome.

“Come here, big guy!” Ron pulled his children to his chest and tried to put as much love into the squeeze as he could muster. They hugged back and it seemed to give the comfort that Harry had wanted to offer and not been able.

“Mum will get better and when we’re allowed to come visit we’ll all three go together, all right?” 

Leaving the family to their private moment, Harry went to get an update from Theo on the situation at Spinner’s End. He could feel himself growing colder, now that he didn’t have to comfort Ron. He felt bitter and frustrated and so very, very angry. It took all of his will to hold his magic in check.

A strange something...a strength he hadn’t felt in a very long time...had caught hold of his magic and bound itself there. He’d felt a weaker version of it during the fight that led to the arrest of Draco Malfoy. And before that, in the moment when he had vanquished Voldemort, he’d felt it then, whatever it was, taking him over. Harry had never told anyone; he’d tried to forget the dark sensation deep in his core, but now it was percolating up, more powerful than ever.

He didn’t want to mention the danger now, to these people, who had enough to worry about. He confined himself to listening to Theo describe what they had to do next.

“Gwaine is at the entrance to Spinner’s End, waiting for us,” Theo was saying.

“Good. We don’t know what surprises the man may still have up his sleeve. I don’t want any unnecessary risks.”

Harry could feel his gaze harden as he mentioned the vile man who had overturned his life.

“Harry! You have to pull yourself together!”

“What are you talking about?” Harry looked down and was stunned to see that the air around himself was vibrating.

He knew what it was. He was generating an electrical field. Not a good sign. He had to get out of the hospital room immediately. Harry looked for Molly, sat in the corner where she was obviously keeping a close eye on proceedings.

“Is George on his way? I don’t want to leave you all here, but I have to get out or I might put everyone in danger.”

He didn’t mention the disturbances in the air surrounding him; Molly could hardly miss an electric field. She didn’t mention it, however.

“He only took a second to contact Bill and Charlie and to reach Arthur at the ministry. He should be here shortly and we’re expecting Arthur as well. You can go, Harry. There’s nothing more you can do here. Just promise me you’ll take care of yourself. I don’t want to be worrying about you, too. You understand?

Harry found he could smile at Molly. She was so dear to him. He loved the whole Weasley clan of course, but Molly and Ron were the ones who made him feel like family.

“Got it, Molly. I will attempt to come back on one piece.”

The second he shut the door behind him and Theo the smile fell from his face.

“Come on, Theo, we’ve got work to do.”

“Whoah, slow down there. You haven’t even told me what happened with Sirius and Thomas. Are they doing alright?” 

“Thomas is here at Mungo’s on the second floor. Apart from the obvious shock, he’s doing really well. He just needs time to finishing flushing the poison from his system and he’ll be fine.”

Thomas had had the good luck to be neither pregnant nor magical. The poison had affected only his body, and not finding a magical core to corrupt, had been easy to chase out of the physical tissues with the antidote.

Unfortunately for Hermione, the same nurturing that cycled her magic to the baby’s had led the antidote there as well. The fetus was already dying of the poison, but it lived long enough to divert the antidote from Hermione herself. She didn’t get enough.

“Hermione’s in critical condition, though, Theo. I just hope I wan’t lying when I said she’d make it.”

Harry forced his shoulders to relax. He breathed deeply in and out, closing his eyes to concentrate on finding a calm meditative state.

He’s magic started pulsing again.

“I’ve got to get out of here. If you want to look in on Sirius, he’s with Thomas upstairs. I’m guessing he’s royally pissed off, but he’s OK and that’s the important thing. Tell him I’ll come visit when I’ve cooled off a bit. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

Harry headed for the exit to wait while Theo made his visit. It was hard just standing there outside the doors. He knew Hastings was supposed to be safely immured in Spinner’s End, but he wanted the whole story to be over right now. Hastings needed to be brought to justice and out of Harry’s life. Meanwhile, here he was, crawling with pent up power, waiting.

Theo knocked on the door politely, anxious not to disturb Thomas if he might be in bed. He was relieved to find Thomas and Sirius both awake. Sirius seemed in good spirits, sitting next to Thomas’s bed with his hand gently resting on his arm.

“How are you two doing?” He asked, not sure what to say.

“Oh we’re just great! Thanks for asking.” Thomas was careful to keep the sarcasm from his voice.

“I’m glad to meet meet you Mr....” Theo held his hand out to Sirius’s partner.

“You can go ahead and call me Thomas. It’s good to meet some of Sirius’s friends.”

“All right, then Thomas. I guess you may as well call me Theo. With all we’ve been through lately I feel like I know you already.”

He was glad to see the Muggle seemed have come through his trial unscathed. For a person who had never heard of the magical world before now, he also seemed very collected.

Sirius, however, grew strained once the pleasantries were over.

“Where is Harry?” Sirius had expected to see Harry as soon as he finished talking to the Weasley family. They had things to discuss damn it. Nothing against Theo, but he was a little disappointed in his godson. He’d noticed the power building in him and he needed to give the boy a little advice before he went storming off. But Harry hadn’t showed.

“He’s waiting outside. His magic is going a little wonky and he needs to bring it back under control. I don’t know...this whole thing has made him a little crazy. I think he blames himself for Hermione’s miscarriage.”

“That’s complete bunk. Of course it isn’t his fault. What he should really be asking himself is why his magic is so out of control. I’m worried about him.”

“He’s doing OK. Don’t worry, Sirius. I’ll watch out for him. Anyway, he’s hardly going to want to hold anything back when he deals with Hastings and I’m not sure I blame him. What that man did is unbelievable. He deserves to suffer.”

“Harry must not act out of vengeance, Theo. Please promise me you’ll stop him first.”

“I will if I can.” Theo was mindful of the truth. “I just don’t know if he’ll listen to me.”

Hoping to avoid making promises he couldn’t keep, Theo changed his focus back to the man on the bed. Thomas was watching them attentively, plainly transfixed by what he’d heard. “So how did they capture you all anyway?” 

“It’s all my fault!” Sirius cried and his hands went to his hair, pulling it.

“No it is not!” Thomas shouted at his lover. “You just wanted to be kind.” He turned to Theo. ‘Sirius wanted to introduce me to Hermione. There wasn’t anyone else around just then. Harry was out and every one else was at work...”. Thomas shrugged. “We met her at a café and we’d just started chatting when a few men came up to the table. They said Harry had sent them to take us to a safe house. Sirius knew one of them so we weren’t suspicious.”

“They took us to Chesters,” Sirius took over the narrative. “All it took was a few doctored drinks and a glamour and they could do what they wanted with us. We were helpless, but we could see and understand it all. We had to stand there and watch while they rented the suite from Edward. The lecherous look he gave us still makes me sick when I think about it. And Theo?” Sirius attempted to swallow his own misgivings about the next part. “One of the men was Blaise.”

“I wasn’t suspicious even though I never trusted the guy. I can’t believe I was such an idiot. I was after Harry all the time about how he should be careful around him and I’m the one who falls for his trap, with the results that you see.”

“Neither you nor Harry could have known, so stop blaming yourself.” Theo wanted to be sympathetic but he was anxious to get back to Harry, no doubt chomping at the bit outside the hospital. “Does Harry know about Blaise?”

“I did tell him. He had to find out sooner or later.” Sirius face fell as he prepared to tell the unvarnished truth. “It could be that I threw in a few extra guilt trips when I told him about what Blaise did. He was too caught up in caring for Hermione to answer me back, but I saw the pain in his eyes, and I’m ashamed to say I hurt him on purpose; I was so upset about what happened to Thomas who had no way of protecting himself from a wizard like that...”. Sirius bit his lips together and squeezed Thomas’s arm.

“You have to go to him, Siri,” Thomas spoke. “You have to stop Harry from doing something reckless.”

“No, I’m not leaving you. Harry has his friends and his fellow aurors and his power. He doesn’t need me for this.”

“You have to go. You’ll never forgive yourself if something happens to Harry and you didn’t help him. Don’t let your anger, which isn’t properly at Harry anyway, get in the way. Don’t let your anger stop you from doing the right thing.”

“We have to go!” Theo interrupted. He looked at Sirius, waiting for a response. He couldn’t force him to come but Thomas was right. Harry needed all the help he could get. To be abandoned and betrayed again would be break him. Theo was terrified at what Harry might do when he confronted Hastings and Blaise.

Narcissa would have factored that in when she set this scheme in motion, he realized. The shape and import of Narcissa’s plan was becoming clear to him. He didn’t know the details exactly, but he could guess. And how Hastings fit in would also be evident in time. 

Sirius left with Theo. When he got close enough to see the clouded hurt in Harry’s eyes he regretted every word of reproach, spoken in the heat of the moment. Harry was as much a victim here as everyone else.

They said nothing. Nothing more needed to be said. And apparated immediately to the doors of Spinner’s end, where they appeared amidst Gwaine Robards and a team of aurors.

“Let’s get this bastard,” Harry told the group. His voice held no shred of emotion now.

Theo reached for the trace of his own magic, that Kreacher had bound like a bow around the door and released it. He opened the door.

Terrence Hastings was waiting on the other side. He indulged in a wicked smirk. Did these idiots really think they could take a mentalist and a wizard of his caliber so easily? He was second to no one in his field.

Faster than anyone would have credited he pulled his wand up, calling on the special magic that he twisted with his knowledge of hypnotism, spinning a unique rope that he aimed now to bind them all.

The aurors, Sirius and Harry stood frozen staring up at him, helpless. His gaze raked over the crowd until they came to Harry.

“Harry James Potter....Well, well, well. Do you know how much your presence annoys me? If I didn’t have Severus to look for I would take the time to torture you slowly and pay you back for all the unpleasantness of the last few months. But if wishes were horses, you know, beggars would ride.”

“As soon as I have returned Severus where he belongs, I’m going to come back and see to you. That’s a promise. And when I do, you will wish you never aimed your sights at me.”  
Turning away from Harry, he sent a pulse of pain through the group that had them all writhing in agony. Hastings really was a master of suggestion. The pain had no physical manifestation, but it unmanned them all, nonetheless.

Harry, too, struggled through a sea of pain, but he did not lose sight of Hastings, keeping his eyes on his expression. The man was enjoying himself, he saw. And his eyes were alight with excitement at what he wrought.

He had it coming to him.

Harry felt his magic bubbling up to the surface and tingle in the tips of his fingers. This time he did not hold it back, but lent it his willful aid. Even though he was giving himself away to his fellow aurors and they would know what kind of thing he was capable of now.

“STAY WHERE YOU ARE HASTINGS,” his voice thundered. “YOU HAVE MADE FOOLS OF US LONG ENOUGH. LOOK AT ME. LOOK ME IN THE EYES THIS TIME AND AWAIT YOUR PUNISHMENT


	26. Revenge Part II

It was a shock to Hastings to hear Harry’s voice. How had he wriggled out of his grip like that? Riding the high of his spell, he’d forgotten that it was Harry Potter he was dealing with, probably the most powerful wizard of his generation and certainly the most difficult to kill.

He’d always been fascinated with Harry, in the negative sense. He’d watched, since the last battle, how his praises were sung, how one by one every plum fell in his lap: power, fame, honor and glory.

Hastings was powerful himself, of course, in another line, but he languished in anonymity. He couldn’t brag about his experiments in mindcontrol in the current political climate. Thus there were no press releases about his doings and no peans to his accomplishments, no and no galas held in his honor, either. All because he had the wrong friends. 

Voldemort was supposed to have vanquished Potter easily. He’d maintained ties with Narcissa on that assumption and fought by Voldemort’s side to the bitter end. What a disappointment that was. Everyone on his side of the war had emerged as little more than a criminal and he found himself nobody at all. When the opportunity to revenge himself for his degradation arose, he’d jumped on it, pulling Severus into his orbit to bring down Harry.

Thanks to the efforts of Rita Skeeter to document every aspect of Potter’s life, he’d been aware of just how essential Severus was to the young hero. Potter lived in the midst of a maelstrom and Severus was clearly the rock that held him steady. Well he could change that.

Wasn’t it past time for Potter to feel what it was like to be on the losing side? Wasn’t it his turn to suffer? He’d ruined Hasting’s life and Hastings would see him bleed for it.

But the hero was a stubborn bugger. He’d foiled Hasting’s first attempts to kill him in the raid where they’d taken Draco, using whatever tricks he’d learned as a specialist in defense to counter Hasting’s curse. Hastings had failed and Potterhad come out on top, as always.

The effort had won Hastings nothing but exhaustion. True, he had injured Potter, but the partial victory only underscored how mediocre he’d become. Just to stop himself from suffocating in his anger, he’d had to extend his plans for Severus. Now he would pull the man away from his friends altogether, prolonging the pain for Harry and killing him in the end. Or that had been the idea, until Harry showed up at the door to be Severus’s body guard and put paid to that .

So now here they were, face to face. They were fighting to the death. Hastings knew this, though Potter didn’t. He intended to destroy Potter, body and soul, take what it must.

He closed his eyes and concentrated on his mental craft, not even attempting to counter the slashing hex that Harry shot at his throat. The wound might be enough to kill him, but he would not make this easy for his enemies. There was still one thing he could do, though it would mean loosening his control of the Aurors. With a light flick of his hand, he warded Harry’s blow. It left only a light bruise, he noted with satisfaction, for his own strength had absorbed and negated its power.

Not pausing to take in his enemy’s fury, he opened his eyes and drew his hands together to form a ball of fire and threw it in one fluid movement at Harry.

Who blocked it effortlessly.

“That’s pathetic, Hastings. Better try again!”

“You shouldn’t overestimate yourself, Potter. You wouldn’t be the first to pay for his arrogance with his life.”

“No one is dying today. You had your chance and missed it,” Harry screamed. It was the opening shot in a harsh struggle.

Hastings was a good wizard and a formidable duelist, especially with the aid of his mentalism. They might have stood there for hours, trading blows had Harry not been struck in mid thrust by the memory of Hermione, lying in her hospital bed. He thought of Sirius and Thomas and what had almost happened to them. And then he remembered Narcissa. All those Malfoy’s: Lucius, Draco, Narcissa, the lot of them. He had a long list of people he needed to get out of the way before his friends and family could be safe.

Unbidden he thought of Blaise as well. He thought of his shameless betrayal and at the same time of all the nights they had spent in bed together. He remembered now, a certain hesitation Blaise had shown sometimes. Harry had thought it was diffidence at the time. Now he knew it was the sign of a guilty conscience. Blaise had been acting on orders, either his father’s or Narcissa’s. Whichever. Harry had no interest in understanding Blaise’s point of view, not while he confronted the person who had for months now been his own personal bogeyman. Hastings.

First thing was first. Hastings needed to go. Looking at the man across from him, Harry could see how he was enjoying having an audience. He was chomping at the bit to distinguish himself to the crowd, even one that consisted of horrified Aurors forced against their will.

Harry had no intention of playing along. Remembering Kreacher’s advice to Theo, he breached the space between them, and before the great mentalist could cry out in shock, he raised his fist and punched him in the face.

The wound, only half healed from the last assault, immediately began to bleed. It hurt more than anything Hastings could remember. Without thinking he directed his magic to heal himself. He weakened himself as a consequence and Harry was able to hit him again.

Hastings felt the first cold tricklings of fear under his skin. He was unable to defend himself from Harry now, let alone hit him back. Desperately, he sought to take a stand within himself, but Harry’s anger overcame his. The beating would take this time and Harry would not stop coming at him.

The kid really was the greater wizard, he acknowledged almost in admiration, as he tried to protect his face with his hands. He was already choking on his own blood when Harry struck a well aimed blow to his throat. 

“Never again will you use your voice as a weapon. Never again will you be able to manipulate Severus Snape. Do you understand? It’s over.”

Hastings could do no more than gurgle in response. Eyes wide with horror, he finally realized what it was that Voldemort had feared. 

Dark magic was pulsing through Harry’s veins, seeking an outlet. A chord of shadow shot out from the mass of darkness and lay over Harry like a mantel and he lost control of his fists and his wand.

A cutting spell found the shaking, choking wizard, and a kick to break bones and he began to black out. Yet even when Hastings lay unconscious at Harry’s feet, he did not stop. Again and again Harry’s fists found the target for his frustration, his resentment and his indescribable fury.

With Hasting unconscious on the ground, the thrall he’d held over the Aurors and Siuris dissolved and they could move again, if they could stand to look away from the brutal fight. 

Theo tried to approach his friend without getting caught in the frenzy. He wasn’t sure if Harry knew what he was doing. He seemed to be overcome by a madness. Blaise didn’t care about Hastings, but he worried about the state of Harry’s soul if he ended up killing the man in cold blood.

“Harry!” Theo called gently, hoping to turn Harry’s attention to his friends. But he called in vain. Harry seemed to be bent on seeing the man before him dead and nothing would stop him. 

Sirius found his way to Theo’s side and joined in the effort to recall Harry to his senses.

“Harry. Stop! You’re no murderer!” Sirius tried to make eye contact with his godson. But to no avail. Harry’s fists continued to hit their target, leaving a a bloody pulp where they fell.

Recognizing how deeply Harry had gone into the darkness, Sirius changed tactics. With a nod to Gwaine Robards, he and the head Auror snuck up behind Harry. Then by unspoken agreement he and Robards each grabbed an elbow and pulled him away from Hastings. Harry screamed and thrashed, but they each held him in an iron grip until, after what seemed like an eternity, Harry stopped fighting. He looked up at his friends with a painful expression and then fell into Sirius arms and went limp.

“You must not avail yourself of this kind of magic, Harry,” Sirius said. “Not unless you’re willing to give all of yourself over to it. Hastings isn’t worth the cost of your soul.” 

Harry looked over at his enemy who was being examined by two of the Aurors.

“He’s still breathing, but it’s really quiet.!” One of them answered Harry’s unspoken question.

There was no mercy in the look Harry gave the bloody, wheezing mass on the ground.

“Well, good. At least now no one has to hear his mind magic shit.”

“He’s going to pay, Harry” Sirius insisted, “but leave it to the courts to decide. Please, you don’t want to become someone who can’t live with what he’s done.” Harry seemed to have come to his senses, but Sirius was still worried. He’d gotten a hold of himself suspiciously fast. 

Harry gave the gathered Aurors a tired smile. “Thanks guys, for being here to stop me from doing something stupid.” 

He turned to Theo. His friend was watching Harry with a skeptical air, but all he said was, “You should get those knuckles seen to. You don’t want them to get infected.”

“Yeah thanks for your concern, but I don’t think I have time for a check up just now. I’m going to find Blaise.” Harry’s eyes had an unholy gleam as he spoke the name.

“What are you going to do when you find him if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I’m not going to kill him if that’s what you’re worried about.” Harry looked a while at Hastings before he went on. “I lost my chance to interrogate that one about the Malfoy’s. I’m not going to make the same mistake with Blaise. Blaise is going to tell me what I want to know.”

“And how to you think you’re going to find him? Blaise could be anywhere by now.”

“I don’t know. I don’t know if he thinks I’m still at the hospital with my friends or if he’s had me tailed. I have to admit I’ve been running around blind. I have exactly been exercising constant vigilance, have I? Mad-Eye would have had my head if he were here.” The author Aurors laughed and nodded at the jest. Everyone remembered the crazy old coot fondly, who hadn’t survived the war. 

“I’m going to visit all of Blaise’s usual haunts. He’s bound to find out that I’m after him at some point, especially after what he did to Sirius, Thomas and Hermione.” Harry’s voice turned to cold steel. “ And he’ll be terrified now because he was a part of the conspiracy against Severus; he was the decoy.”

Theo who had promised himself not to let Harry out of his sight, pulled his Auror robes tight around himself and turned to Harry.

“Well let’s get going then!” He gave Harry a conspiratorial smile and a hearty clap on the shoulder. “Let’s get these swine and drag them to justice.”

Harry saw that it would be pointless to argue; he was glad Theo on his side, in any case. “I’m afraid we have to take a little detour by my house first, though,” Theo added. “Pansy will have our necks if we don’t tell her what’s been going on.”

“We have to hurry, Theo. Blaise won’t stay put and Narcissa is far too smart to just let the game change on her.”

“It won’t take long. I just have to make sure that Severus has completely come back to himself. We already knew he wasn’t a danger to Pansy or anyone else.”

“You left Severus alone with your wife! Are you crazy?”

“No, I’m not. Kreacher offered to stay with them...and before you freak out...he has helped us a lot. You should be grateful and let go of your hatred for him.”

“I never hated Kreacher until the day Severus threw me out of the house.”

“You have to remember that Severus wasn’t himself then.”

“Is that what he says? I’m not so sure. It will be a long time before I’m ready to come to terms with Severus. Anyway, we’d better go rescue Pansy. Wouldn’t want you to get in trouble.”

Theo and Harry appareted directly inside Nott manor. The Notts owned other, smaller properties, but they enjoyed living behind the great stone walls, even if they didn’t have kids to fill the place up yet. 

Harry felt sick as usual after apparating, worse than usual, as he realized that the excitement of the day had turned to exhaustion in every corner of his body. Then Severus appeared at the apparating point and the whole scene became completely surreal. It was, Harry decided, the true Severus who stood before him. Theo had been right about that.

“Damn it, Harry! Why did you go running off after Hastings like an idiot? I thought you were smarter than that!”

Harry’s thoughts focused with lightening speed.

“It’s funny you should say that. I also thought you were smarter than that as you put it and yet you let yourself be seduced by that utter piece of shit.”

“Harry! I....”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses, Sev. I’m just here to reassure Pansy. I’m not interested in you. In fact I can barely stand to look at you.” And it really did feel that way to Harry when he saw Severus’s face.

He had to find Blaise and bring down Narcissa and her spawn and only then would he consider what he wanted to do about Severus.

Without another word, he left the room and ran to find Pansy and hold her in his arms. This was real. His friends had been there for him. They kept him on his feet. Not Blaise or Severus. It was his friends who kept him grounded. Perhaps he might never be able to fall in love again. At the moment he couldn’t imagine letting someone get close to him again that way. But with friends like these he would never be alone. He cried, nonetheless, as he told the story of what happened to Hermione’s baby and how brave she and Thomas had been.

“It’s OK Harry,”. Pansy comforted him as best she could, feeling the hurt he carried. “I”m here for you.”

There was a pop and Kreacher appeared at the door.

“Master Harry Potter, Sir!” Called the elf, relieved to see the man there. “Kreacher has found Master Zabini’s location. If Master Harry Potter would come with me, please...”

Theo who had only just sent the elf on his mission, rushed up to him in surprise.

“That was mighty quick. I had no idea you were so good at finding people.”

“Kreacher didn’t have to look, Master Nott. Kreacher found Master Zabini at Grimmauld Place. Mast Blaise is waiting in Master Harry Potter’s room.”


	27. Something Different

“You’re not going anywhere unaccompanied, Harry. And that’s final!”

Harry’s expression made it clear what he thought of his boss’s words and Gwaine Robards realized the magnitude of the promise Sirius had extracted from him. If he let Harry go, he would be lost to the darkness, but Harry was already out of control. 

Power pulsed through Harry’s veins, in time to the strength of his magic and images ran through his mind of himself and Blaise, rending the last of their relationship even before he could find him. Blaise would pay for what he had done.

Gwaine gave two of the attending Auror’s a signal they used and they were immediately at Harry’s side. The Aurors, he saw, felt the honor of guarding one of their own, their eyes were lit with it. He felt sorry for Blaise Zabini already and they hadn’t even set eyes on him yet.

But Harry rejected the guards. Coldly. He hoped his truculence would chase them away and spare their lives. He didn’t want to put anyone at risk. In this he was disappointed as the Auror Chief was not to be moved.

It was not for nothing that Robards was the leader of these men and at the end of the day it was he who gave the commands and the rest who obeyed. It was he who made the split second decisions on which their lives depended and it was they who must accept without question. Also, they had pledged their loyalty to him. He didn’t usually bring up the oath, but in Harry’s case it seemed to be necessary

“Auror Potter.” Robard began in his growliest voice, though his eyes were filled with something like pity. “You will not put yourself in harm’s way...and before you say something you’ll regret, yes, that is an order!”

Harry gave up. He longed to get his hands on Blaise and he would never get out of there if he didn’t get clearance from the Chief Auror.

“If you must play babysitter, I can’t stop you,” he said, resigned, getting ready to apparate and already certain he would be sick as a dog by the time he got there.

Severus who had observed Harry’s facial expressions throughout the exchange, strode up to him and laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Please be careful of yourself, Harry. I don’t think you truly comprehend all that Blaise and Narcissa are capable of. She twists and turns like an old screw, do not forget. And she will not hesitate to destroy you if the opportunity arises.

“You don’t need to worry Severus,” Harry said, furious with himself that he could not keep the emotion out of his tone, “Your lover can’t come crawling back. I’m afraid I’ve put him out of commission for the foreseeable future, but I’m sure your death eater friends will still come around and no doubt one or the other of them will be happy to welcome you with open arms.”

“Harry, I ...”

Severus attempted to put into words what he was thinking and to clarify how it was that he had been predisposed to fall, but Harry interrupted, impatient with his renewed excuses.

“Just don’t say anything. I can’t believe you right now and I don’t even want to. Even if I accepted that you really couldn’t help yourself too much has happened. I couldn’t forgive you today and I don’t want to waste any time trying.”

“I don’t want you to forgive me. It is certainly too early for our rapprochement. I want you to be more wary of Blaise. I am not a monster, Harry, as you know full well, and I cannot stand by and watch you walk into a mistake with no warning.”

Severus trailed off. It was time to tell Harry the truth, the whole truth, as painful as it would be to relive it; Harry had a right to know. “Could I speak to you a moment alone?”

Harry nodded, pushing his anger down, and led Severus into the library in the next room. He stood before the chimney, staring for a moment into the flames, before he turned to face Severus’s eyes.

“Fine. I’m listening. But if this is a cheap trick to put in a word for Hastings I don’t want to hear it, alright? That idiot deserved everything he got.”

“I am of your opinion, Harry, I assure you. This is about something else. I find at this moment I cannot completely explain what it signifies but I discovered something as I attempted to throw off Terrence’s manipulation.”

Severus took a breath and proceeded to explain that there had been a relationship before Harry, a deep one, with Lucius Malfoy which Narcissa had taken from their minds and destroyed in her jealousy. “I’m not certain why she did it, but since she married Lucius shortly afterward I assume that she wanted him for herself and I stood in her way.”

“I don’t’ see what this has to do with Blaise.”

“I’m not talking about your boyfriend,” Severus said, annoyed. “I am trying to tell you that Narcissa has been playing out this plan for many years. Terrence was invited in for whatever reason, and though we do not know his purpose, it is a fact that he destroyed our relationship at her behest.”

“For which I am now thoroughly grateful,” Harry responded, furious once more and hurrying to the door. “It may be,” he called back, “that she spun things to her advantage, but you threw yourself at Hastings all by yourself when you first got to know him. I wasn’t enough for you. You just had to stick your cock in his arse to prove how desirable you were; that you didn’t need me.”

Harry knew his words were harsh but it was the truth as he saw it. “That Hastings was in cahoots with Narcissa does not lessen what you did or explain why you cheated. At the very least you betrayed me of your own free will the first time you couldn’t keep your hands out of his trousers. If everything happened the way you said, then you were under his control after your first fuck and not before!”

“Damn it, Harry!” Severus was irritated by Harry’s vulgar language and that he chose to indulge his frustration at Severus’s betrayal rather than heed his warning. “You have been as manipulated by Hastings as I! In any case, you would do best to hold your tongue. You haven’t exactly led the life of a monk since we parted company. What utter crap these accusations are you’re throwing in my face. You’ve fucked your way through half of London!”

Severus didn’t see the blow coming. He stood there holding his bleeding nose while Harry was talking.

“Shut up if you don’t want me to lose control of my magic and turn you into something small and squeaky. It is none of your god damned business what hole I fuck or who it belongs to.”

He felt no phrase too be too shameful as long as the angry words were spilling. Then he wiped the blood almost tenderly from Severus’s face as he sought for calmer ones. “Blaise is not my boyfriend anymore and before you say anything...You are neither my partner nor my father to lecture me about how I live my life, however wild it may be.”

Harry rushed out of the room in a fury only to knock into Pansy, who had only just managed to remove her ear from the door before he opened it. His quick reflexes had him steadying her with a hand on her arm before he realized what she had been up to.

“Now Pansy, you know you’re not a kid anymore. You don’t have to listen in at doors to find out what’s going on.” Harry smiled, though inside he was still boiling over the words with Severus.

“I know it’s a terrible habit of mine,” Pansy said in her flirtatious way. “He’s right you know.”

“Oh and now you’re on my case?” Harry barked.

“If it stops you from making a terrible mistake. I would do anything to help you, but if you’re too proud to listen to Severus who really only has your best interests at heart...”

“Fine Pansy. I get it. But you’re both wrong, alright? I know Blaise. Even if he was plotting behind my back he is no cold blooded murderer. I will find out why he got involved with Narcissa and Hastings and then I’ll try to hear him out. That doesn’t mean I’m ruling out the possibility that he’ll end up where Hastings did. That depends on what he says. Don’t worry. Today I have no mercy. If he doesn’t want to tell me where the Malfoys are hiding, then he’s going to be in the bed next to our esteemed mentalist, spending the rest of his miserable life in St. Mungo’s!

He kissed Pansy good bye and turned to the others in the room. Gwaine Robards he stared in the eyes, giving nothing away. Gwaine stared back, by no means stupid nor indifferent. He saw that Harry wanted no protection or advice about this thing that lay before him and that he thought he would have to decide for himself.

Theo had been left behind to keep an eye and his wife and ensure that Severus remained himself. Harry spoke to him last.

“Take everyone to Hogwarts, Theo. I want Severus and Pansy under the protection of the school. I’ll meet you there when it’s over.”

******

They apparated directly to Grimmauld Place, Harry and Gwaine together. No doubt Blaise had been wondering where he’d got to. Well he would soon find out.

Harry appeared like an avenging angel in the doorway of his own bedroom and there he was, lying on Harry’s bed.

“Finally!” Blaise hopped up and came to Harry who did not move from the door. The utter shamelessness of Blaise in that moment was almost more than Harry could credit.

“Stay right there,” he said. “You have one minute to convince me not to kill you where you stand.” Harry pulled out his wand, pointing it at the man across from him as he waited for the excuses to start.

“I had no choice, Harry! It was my father...”

“Your father? Your father explains why you aided and abetted the kidnapping of my dearest friends? How could you put Hermione through that trauma? She lost her baby, arsehole...she was your friend and this is how you thanked her!”

Harry’s voice broke and with it his control. His fist flew out. Like Severus moments before, Blaise was holding his nose, blood dripping..

Harry was losing it again. 

Quickly, Gwaine followed him into the room.

“Harry, If you handle Zabini the same as Hastings, you will never find out the source of operations. Remember our priority is Narcissa!”

“Don’t go after her, Harry!” Blaise spoke snuffling through his broken nose. “You’re no match for her. Even my father does what she tells him. We all follow her orders....It’s the story of my life, you know? Do what you’re told. I’m sorry, Harry, about....everything. I never wanted anyone to get hurt, truly. I actually loved you, but that didn’t matter... Narcissa doesn’t like Severus to be happy. She wants to see him suffer.”

“Tell me where the Malfoys are and I’ll let you live,” was all Harry replied.

“I can’t tell you that. She’ll have me murdered. She’ll hunt me down and torture me!”

“And I don’t care. You tell me right here and right now where I can find her or it won’t matter what she does to you because I will have killed you first!”

“I don’t want anything to happen to you, Harry! That’s why I came back here. I know Narcissa is going to take down Severus but you don’t have to be part of that.”

“You have a guilty conscience, do you Blaise? Or maybe you know what will happen when I find Narcissa. You have no way out and you are counting on me to feel sorry for you, to have mercy...”. Harry gazed a last time in the eyes of his former lover. He said three words. “Where is Narcissa?”

“She’s at Voldemort’s old headquarters, Riddle Manor. She thought it only right after he took over the Malfoy home, especially after he had the nerve to make use of her bedroom during the war.”

Finally Harry had come to his revenge, for he knew where Narcissa was. A peace overcame him and he turned calmly to the Aurors in the hall behind him. His voice was almost gentle.

“Arrest Blaise Zabini and take him directly to Azkaban. I’m sure the wardens will be happy to fill Lucius’s missing cell with this slimebag.”

“You can’t do that. I haven’t had a trial. I demand a hearing of the Wisengamot.”

Blaise turned pleading eyes on Harry. “Please, you know I couldn’t help it. You know yourself what it’s like when you’re a kid and you can’t stop what the grown ups are doing.”

“You are not a child anymore, Blaise. You could have taken me into your confidence if you’d wanted. I would have listened. Do you realize that I was ready to fall in love with you? You were the only person since Severus left me that I felt anything for. You could have had me, but you chose to abuse my trust and betray me instead.”

With a hardness that had once been foreign to him, he watched the Aurors do their work. Once the password to the manor had been given up, he turned and left the room without a further glance. No one apart from Gwaine saw how his hands were shaking before he balled them into fists.

Harry didn’t speak until Blaise’s shrieking and crying had faded into the distance.

“We’re going to need two more Auror teams to cover Riddle Manor if we expect to catch Narcissa.”

“You keep mentioning Narcissa,” one of the team pointed out, “But you never say anything about Lucius and Draco. Aren’t we looking for them, too?”

“We think Narcissa is the head of the organization. Draco might be in it for his father’s sake and as for Lucius, I’m no longer sure if he is capable of behaving of his own free will. We’ve found evidence that she has manipulated his mind before.”

Under his cold words Harry felt a stab of jealousy. He wondered if he would ever even had a date with the love of his life if Narcissa had not been willing to pay any price for hers.

“I assume that once we have Narcissa in custody the others will be easy to round up. And we have her at a disadvantage. She doesn’t know what we learned today from Blaise. I have her in my sights and she’ll soon find out how I take care of my friends.”

*******

Gwaine agreed with Harry and sent two teams to patrol the back of Riddle Manor. They would occupy themselves with whatever escaped out the back, while he aimed to surprise any occupants with a frontal assault on the other side. In just a few minutes they had blown the front door off its hinges, revealing the grand and hideous entry hall within and right before them the blonde criminal mastermind herself.

“Mister Potter!’ Narcisssa called with a secretive smile, “I confess I hadn’t expected to see you quite so soon.”

With a snap of her fingers she called her coconspirators to her side. Lucius came, leaning heavily on his son and Harry readied himself yet again for a fight.

“Mr. Potter!” Lucius spoke with enthusiasm, pointing to Harry, while Draco tried helplessly to stop him. “I’m so glad that you and Severus are together. I can’t quite remember at the moment, but I found a photo of us back when in a certain position, you know, and I imagine he must have turned to you when he couldn’t get me.”

Harry swallowed thickly at the words, spoken in a quavery voice; Lucius had aged a great deal since he had taken him from Azkaban. Then he suddenly collapsed and Draco lowered him to the floor.

“I hope you’re satisfied, Potter!” Draco glared over his father’s prone body as he gently stroked his father’s hair. And now Harry saw what had made him so angry. Lucius Malfoy was dead. The man’s heart had simply stopped beating.

“I’m sorry about your father,” said Harry sincerely, “but you can thank your mother for what happened to his mind since she was the one who tampered with it.”

“Don’t listen to him, Draco.” Narcissa cried horrified, the expected support had not come. She was betrayed..

“I’m afraid things didn’t work out your way...” Harry stopped in mid sentence and indicated the ring of his colleagues now waiting to find out how she might try to escape next.

“I have no idea what you mean, Mr. Potter. Narcissa attempted to disguise the tremor in her voice. “My goal was to be reunited with my husband and so I shall be.’

Tenderly she sank down next to her son, holding one of Lucius’s hands in hers and stroking his cheek. “You will keep our project alive, Draco. Promise me you will be the new Lord,” she whispered in her son’s ear too softly for any witness to her words. I’ll create a sufficient distraction and you will flee. Go to the Highlands. You’ll be safe there. And you mustn’t spare a second thought for us. Your father and I will go together. We agreed long ago.”

She turned to Harry. “I’m sorry Mr. Potter to scupper such well laid plans for revenge. I’m afraid that my husband’s death changes things. I know “- she lifted her chin- you would throw it in my face that I bound him to me with a lie, but my husband means everything to me and he loved me far more than Severus Snape. I know this.”

There was madness in her eyes. This was not, after all, the next Voldemort. Harry found his duty harder than before. It had been too easy to best this woman in the end. However, Narcissa had her last triumph. Harry, enthralled despite himself by the scene before him, failed to notice what Draco was doing and he apparated away before any of the Aurors could apprehend him.

Draco’s mind was on his own plans. He would do great things. Different things. Not like she had. He took a deep breath and mourned a last time for his father, whom he had loved. Then he turned to his accomplice and kissed him.

“So Blaise it looks like you’ve escaped your special friends?”

“Without a hitch. I worked the angle- you know, poor me, boo-hoo and what about my rights to a trial. The Aurors are pushovers. I was able to shake them off almost the minute Harry left. How was it at your end?”

“Dad’s death couldn’t be helped. At least he didn’t suffer; the poison was painless.” Draco kissed Blaise’s hand and played with his fingers. This is what his family had bought him.

He stood together with his lover at the peak of the resistance movement, a movement that had been building since Voldemort’s defeat, but that was now primed to move away from the fixations of the last war. He and Blaise would not focus on Potter and Severus the way his mother had. They were interested in money.

A skirmish here, a little heist there and they were on their way to acquiring a distinct reputation in the wizarding world and a great deal of cash-Deatheater’s money and other people’s. Narcissa’s capitulation had left their branch of the organization untouched. His father’s death had been a small price to pay for the horde that now was theirs to inherit.

Meanwhile Harry was struck dumb, standing there as the Aurors swarmed around him turning everything in the manor upside down. He felt dead.

Gwaine gave him a worried look. 

“Do you want to go to Hogwarts and let Severus know what happened now it’s finally over?”

“No, I’m going to the hospital to see Hermione. I want to help Ron....the kids need me more than Severus does right now. Pansy and The can take care of him. And Minerva’s going to spoil him rotten, I’m sure.”

Harry looked sadly to where Narcissa sat rocking Lucius in her arms and singing. The healers had arrived and were pulling her up off the floor and she was keening and crying. In seconds they had administered a sedative. When she woke up it would be in a prison cell. “It’s not over,” he told Gwaine. “It will never be over. We will hear from Draco before too long, mark my words. Didn’t you catch what Narcissa was hinting? She was never the true head of the organization; she was just building it up for Draco. Draco leads the troops.”

“We will find him and hunt him down, don’t worry Harry. I promise you that. While you’re at Hogwarts training the students, we’ll be on his trail. And we’ll get him. The Malfoy family has made enough trouble.”


	28. Melancholy

“When are they going to let me out of here, Sirius? I feel fine and I’m tired of lying around like I’m in a coma.”

“Oh don’t be so dramatic, Thomas. The healers will let you out soon enough. And then we’ll whisk you away. I did promise you that tour of wizarding London, remember.”

Sirius couldn’t believe how quickly Thomas had recovered his old joie de vivre, especially given how intimidating the magical world could be to a muggle. Nothing he saw seem to bother him. He was open to anything, even the mediwizards with their strange procedures. His Thomas weathered it all.

********  
When Harry walked in Sirius and Thomas were holding hands. They painted a pretty picture and Harry smiled.

“I’m glad to see you’re alright,” he told Thomas. His voice was quiet but he tried to make sure his face betrayed no sign of what he’d undergone moments before. There was no point ruining the rest of Thomas’s stay in England.

Sirius gave Harry a careful looking over. He seemed alright. No obvious wounds, he thought, relieved, as he let go of Thomas’s hand and wrapped his godson in a hug. Up close, however, he could tell all was not well with Harry. Harry stank of sweat, fear and the exhaustion which was written on his face. Sirius stepped back and inspected Harry again.

“What happened? You look terrible. Are you sure you’re OK?” 

“It’s over. At least it is for you. That’s all I’ll say for now. I really don’t want to think about it.” Harry didn’t want to talk about it either. Not while he was still taking his first free breath. The last thing he needed was to be caught up in his anger again and the refusal to talk was a necessary defense against the return of the rage. “Why don’t you tell me how you’re doing instead? Harry asked Thomas, cleverly shifting Sirius’s attention to his lover. “Do you know when you’ll be released? I can’t believe you’re wasting your time lying around in hospital when you could be exploring what the wizarding world has to offer.”

Thomas smiled broadly and winked.

“Oh well, the beds are so comfortable here. And the doctors! Let’s just say they’re worth every minute I’ve had to spend lying here.”

“Oi!” Sirius gave Thomas a gentle punch on the arm. “You’re not supposed to be flirting. Especially while I’m right here! What will the mediwizards think? You’re my boyfriend, Lord Black’s boyfriend. And the staff know it’s as much as their jobs are worth to touch what belongs to a Lord.”

“You can take that Lord business and stuff if up your ass, Sirius. It’s not worth a hill of beans in Canada. We don’t have landed gentry.” Thomas frowned. “At least, in Muggle Canada we don’t. I don’t know about wizarding Canada, I guess.”

“Sirius doesn’t bear that title now, anyway.” Harry interrupted with a laugh. “If I might remind you, you’re not Lord Black anymore, Sirius. You gave the title over to me and you aren’t even permitted by law to use it.”

“And naturally you’ve been a slave to the traditional obligations.” Sirius pretended to be disgruntled, but he was relieved to provoke a little teasing from Harry, even if the smile didn’t reach his eyes. Sirius allowed himself to be distracted by the new topic. “I don’t suppose there is a single person in the Wizarding world who even knows you are Lord Black.”

“Oh there are a fair few. I don’t want to make too much of it, though. The fact that I’m Harry James Potter is enough to get me what I need, if it comes to that.”

“I’m not talking about material things, Harry. Your title can ease the way for other things. Entree into the great houses, for instance. And it clears up any little misunderstandings you might run into at the ministry or with the wizardgamut. Your title gives you a voice.”

“I’m not sure what you mean.” Harry gave Sirius a puzzled glance. “Fudge doesn’t listen to me. The man has never liked me. And the fact that I practically forced him to release Lucius and Draco Malfoy from Azkeban won’t have done much to endear me to him now.”

Even as he said the words, Harry remembered how quickly Fudge had given over the release form once Sirius’s name was invoked. He couldn’t deny that. Apparently in Wizarding England a nobleman’s title was worth something.

“As Lord Black you have a seat on the Wizengamot and that gives you influence,” Sirius continued, hoping to get Harry to fall in line with his way of thinking. It was in his interests to learn how to use his position if he ever needed the Minister on his side.

“Fudge and the Wizengamot act arbitrarily, as far as I can tell. I can’t imagine my vote would make much difference. You saw yourself during the war; your title didn’t keep you from Azkaban.”

“That was only because there was so much evidence that I had betrayed “the boy who lived”. If you hadn’t survived and become a hero I doubt I would ever have seen the inside of prison.”

There wasn’t anything Harry could say to that. His godfather was right. If it weren’t for his status as hero of the wizarding world, no one would have lifted a finger for him. That was clear from all the uncompensated victims that Voldemort had left strewn across his path. The wizarding world didn’t worry about those kinds of details. 

The healers came in, interrupting the conversation. Thomas was finally free to go. He was glad he’d stayed long enough to hear Sirius’s little lecture. It had given him a lot to think about, but he was tired now. Sirius sat next to him on the bed and gave him one of his loving smiles.

“Well am I going to help you get dressed so we can get out of here? I don’t mind telling you I’m eager to speed up the process. Hospitals make me nervous. Too much death about. Can’t stand it.” He sighed. “I love our life too much to want to think of endings.”

Sirius didn’t know it but he was describing exactly the reason why Harry had changed his career. When it became clear that Thomas was dressing himself, he turned to Harry. “Are you coming with us to Grimmauld Place?”

“No, I’m going to stay and see Hermione first. The healers were busy examining her and wouldn’t let me in before, but I want to be there for them. She and Ron are going through a hard time. I think they blame themselves for the miscarriage.”

“Do you want me to go with you?” Sirius offered.

“No, you’ve done enough. Take care of Thomas. Relax and enjoy being in England. Show your husband how beautiful the wizarding world can be. He didn’t exactly get the most wonderful first impression.”

“OK. Well, take care of yourself, Harry,” Sirius said quietly. “Promise me you’ll stop by to see me before we leave on our trip.”

“I’ll make sure to touch base before I apparate to Hogwarts. Once I’m there I may not have time to say goodbye properly.”

“Show the kiddies what you’ve got. I’m sure you’ll be a fabulous teacher.” Sirius felt a lump in his throat as he hugged his godson goodbye. He knew there wouldn’t be many more chances to see him before he returned to Canada.

“It’s just a couple of weeks out of the year.” Harry swallowed and closed his eyes. He could feel his magic begin to pulse again. Out of nowhere he felt tense, nervous and miserable. His magic just wasn’t accommodating the rapid shift from the angry display earlier today to these ordinary interactions and it was freaking out. It was building in his veins like a volcano about to erupt.

“I’ll definitely be stopping by,” he said quickly, keeping the words to a minimum and tamping down any tell tale signs of stress. Sirius needed not to worry. It was high time his godfather had a chance to concentrate on his own life again instead of dealing with everyone else’s problems. And Harry did not want to put him in harm’s way anymore. One last hug and they made their goodbyes, Sirius and Thomas hurrying away from Mungo’s in relief and Harry staying behind, trying to collect himself before he went to see Hermione.

*********

“Mum is with Hugo and Rose in the garden if you want to join them,” George said, looking up from his magazine at Harry. He smiled.

“That’s alright. I’m going to stick with you out here if you dont’ mind, till they let us in to see Hermione.” Harry could tell he was being awkward. Assuming an air of calm he did not feel was taking a toll. Had he really been assaulting people with his magic and his fists just a few hours before?

He was not finding his way back to normal. He couldn’t even tell if his reaction was to be expected or if he was exaggerating it all somehow. How had he come to this? Everything that he used to care about he had shoved aside, except for his friends, not them. But he didn’t want anyone else. He couldn’t stand for anyone to be near him.

It was hard to put words to it- he didn’t really understand it himself. He only felt that it was so. Except for where he kept his connection to Ron and Hermione and their children, nothing was where it should be inside him. He was cold and black inside.

To his relief, Rose and Hugo came running in and swarmed over him, closely followed by their grandmother who was doing her best to keep up with the two whirlwinds.

“Oh you stink, Uncle Harry!” Rose wrinkled her nose before burying it again in Harry’s shoulder.

“Now, Rose, that’s not what we say,” Molly chided, but her words were drowned out by the children’s laughter even as she spoke them. Harry felt himself able to breathe again. Here was what was normal, what he needed like air. The little kids had pulled him out of his droning lethargy again.

It had always been the Weasleys when it came to that. They were his refuge. It was they who made him feel alive, when he was drifting and lonely. And now his heart could beat lighter. He was endlessly grateful for that.

For a while there, he had thought he felt a little of that connection with Blaise. But that had been nothing but a flicker of his soul, the reaction to a charming man. Harry shrank away from his train of thought and forbade himself to think of it. What he felt for Blaise, his first great love for Severus, his life as a warrior against the tide of evil, even the Malfoy’s...it was all over and done. He was going to dedicate himself to learning to control his dark magic and to caring for his family. Never again would he stand on the front lines and fight. Severus, Blaise and all the rest were gone. So be it.

Harry’s mind reached the conclusion. And if his heart wasn’t quite there, well there were still people he loved. Despite her complaints about his sweat, Rose had made herself at home on his lap. He held the warm little body close in his arms and buried his face in her hair.

Harry didn’t notice the concerned look Molly threw his way. Without being able to put her finger on the cause, she knew he was hurt in some way. He might look all right on the outside but appearances could be deceiving, especially with Harry. Better that she pry a little.

“Well now, Harry, did it all go to plan? You were successful I gather.”

“Yes. We brought down Narcissa finally. Draco managed to get away, though, and Lucius is dead. It’s a pity. He wasn’t all there at the end.” Harry broke off, his words stuck in his throat. Why was he so emotional? In all his time as an Auror he had never taken a case so hard. “I shouldn’t talk about it...There are a few things we need to sort out before we broadcast the results. I’m sure you understand.”

“Of course, dear. You can tell us more when you’re ready. I just want you to know I can always lend an ear. If you ever want to talk about what you went through I’m here. Any time, day or night.”

“Thank you, Molly. That means a lot to me. I don’t know what I would do without you, you and the whole family.”

Harry was glad he could hide behind Rose. Molly’s love, her mother’ love hit him right where he was shredded and torn inside and he could hardly bear it.

George came by and tried to get Rose off of Harry’s lap. As if sensing that he needed her, she refused to budge, though his tight grip hurt a little.

“Come on Rose. Upsy-daisy. I need to talk to your Uncle Harry for a minute.” George gestured around the corner and Harry pried off his burden and followed him out of sight of the others.

“What’s going on, George? Did something happen with Hermione?” Harry didn’t think he could take it if she were weakening again.

George tried to remove the panic from his voice. “It’s not Hermione. She’s stable as far as I know. It’s you I want to talk about.” He paused long enough to give Harry a chance to collect himself and then plowed ahead. “I know depression when I see it, Harry. And you are on the brink.”

“I’m fine, George. You shouldn’t worry about me.”

“You are not fine! Stop lying to me, alright? There is nothing wrong with getting help when you need it. Hastings, Severus, this whole thing with Narcissa, it’s all put you through the ringer this last couple of months. It’s no wonder you need to take a break, but I think it might be good if you talked to someone about it...”

“I don’t want to talk about my feelings. I don’t even know who I am right now. I just need a little time. Please, George. I’m not ready to talk about what I just did.”

“OK. Point taken.” George shook his head. “Just promise me you will tell me the minute it gets to be too much. Promise me you’ll come to me first. I know the look you have too well to be put off by a few words.”

“Hey, you’re acting like I’m about to top myself or something. You know I’m not thinking anything like that.”

“I don’t know that. That’s exactly how I was after Fred died.”

“I’m doing OK. Trust me.”

“And that’s just what I said back then. If I hadn’t had Ron working next to me that whole time, I’m sure I wouldn’t be standing here with you now. These kinds of things sneak up on you. That’s why it’s so hard to fight.”

Harry was shocked. He hadn’t known that. At the time he’d been too caught up in his own life to notice the depth of George’s pain.

“Don’t look at me like that. I know I was a prat back then. Ron took me by the neck and showed me that I still had a life worth living, even though Fred lost his...it was hard, though. Being happy, I mean.

“Ron never told me.”

“He promised me he wouldn’t. I’m not telling you this to make you sorry for me, but because I want to make sure you work through what just happened in your life.”

“Thank you for trusting me with that. I don’t know if I’m depressed the way you think. I haven’t thought of it to be honest. But I promise not to do anything drastic. I don’t think I could do something like that to you all and Sirius anyway.”

“That’s all I wanted to hear,” said George, smiling again. He gave Harry a friendly clap on the shoulder. “I trust you to keep your word. Let’s see if they’re letting Hermione receive visitors yet. I think she and Ron have had enough time mourning alone. Time for us get in there, bring a little of the outside world with us.”

George hurried away, leaving Harry to consider his confession. Now he knew why George had parked himself outside the ward. Ron had been there for him, when he hadn’t known how to go on, so now he wanted to be there for his little brother, whose heart was in ruins right now.

Harry couldn’t believe his good fortune to have friends such as these.

The door to Hermione’s room was open, revealing the close-knit family within, all gathered around Hermione’s bed: Molly, the children, and Ron’s brothers. Harry lingered in the doorway and watched them, feeling a little lost. Hermione looked better he thought, physically, at least. The pain of losing her baby was still visible in her face. She and Ron sat side by side on the bed. Tears ran down their cheeks, but they were in the circle of their family and obviously received comfort from that.

Harry didn’t want to disturb the idyllic scene. He turned away a little wistful. He would come back another time, maybe when they got home he could visit, when he was done at Hogwarts. He was out of place here and anyway, he needed to arrange things with Severus. Even with Hastings gone he would need supervision. Once he knew Severus was out of reach of harm, he could start living his own life again. It sounded simple, but Harry didn’t think he’d ever faced anything so hard./p>


	29. First Approach

Theo was there to welcome Harry at the gates of Hogwarts, appearing almost the moment he apparated. It felt so much like coming home Harry had to take out his hanky and discretely wipe a tear. He wasn’t usually so emotional. It was just for the first time since his exile from Spinners End, he’d come to a place that made him feel like he had a home. 

Another person appeared behind Theo. Severus. Harry thought he seemed worried, as he looked at him, far too carefully, until he decided to smile, a smile that reached his eyes for the first time in a long while. 

Harry might not have known it, but Severus had decided to rebuild their relationship and make something beautiful of it this time. He was going to win Harry back. He was going to do it right, whatever that rightness might require. He was determined and nothing would stop him.

*******

A few weeks later, Harry was comfortably ensconced at Hogwarts and teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts. The children responded well to his teaching style and participated with enthusiasm. At first they’d mostly been interested in his status as a hero, but the longer he worked with them, the less that seemed to matter. Even Minerva was impressed with their progress, and Harry met with her wholehearted approval. If there was the odd moment when he became a little ruminative and absent minded, it never got in the way of his relationship with his students. He patiently answered every question, however trivial and became beloved because he took the troubles and hopes of the children seriously. He hadn’t though he would have their regard, in that way, but of course he was flattered and pleased with his success. The only thing that ate away at the healing of his soul was the unavoidable presence of Severus. Harry had to see him every day and that rankled. More than he liked to admit.

The fact was Severus could have gone back to Spinner’s End if he had wanted to, once the worst danger was past, but McGonagall had forestalled that by taking Severus on as a teacher again. As he had given up his place at the hospital during the last upheavals in his life, Severus had been happy to accept her offer.

“It’s not like I can’t oversee the publication of my book from here,” he reasoned to himself at the end of his first day teaching potions since the war. “And if I have an unavoidable commitment that takes me out of school, we can cross that bridge when we come to it.” It didn’t hurt that he saw Harry every day. Severus could feel how it infuriated Harry that he couldn’t avoid his presence, but he was bound to be polite, as Severus was, for the sake of the children.

When he first arrived, Severus had tried to talk to Harry about his relationship with Terrance but Harry had blocked every attempt at raising the subject. It seemed that Harry was not ready to go over their recent past. He lived a life in retreat, shrunk down to his interactions with his students, even avoiding the other teachers.

Severus, on the other hand, felt immediately at home at Hogwarts, as if he had never left, though he had some difficult moments. He could not help thinking of painful facts, of Hastings and Lucius before that.

The death of Lucius affected him more than he had thought. Since he had touched those memories of their time together, ever more had risen to the surface, showing the love that had been between them. He went to the funeral, part of a crowd that consisted mostly of security detail, none of whom carried the heavy heart that he did.

Narcissa had been permitted to attend and sat, chained to her chair, as she waited for the earth to swallow up her husband’s remains. Her face was wet. Severus had wanted to be angry with this woman, who had destroyed so much, but could not. He approached her and looked straight into eyes that did not look back.

“I hope the love you had for him was great enough to justify what you did to him,” he said and then he turned away. He thought he spotted Draco among the mourners, but by the time he had alerted the Aurors, he was gone.

Back at Hogwarts Severus dreamt of Lucius’s grey eyes. The dreams made him happy in a morbid sort of way. When they came, which was not often, they made him feel loved.

Then there were other dreams that made him uneasy. In these he was haunted by Terrence, a brutal Terrance who bullied and demeaned him. Over and over in these dreams he was trapped in a shell of himself with no recourse and no way out. It was no more than he deserved. 

These dreams he considered a punishment for his treatment of Harry, his actions which remained his own after the influence of Hastings was gone. And yet he was also a victim. It was particularly galling to witness himself dominating his partner in the scenes that he recalled. He did not feel dominant; he felt violated.

But what could he do with his pain? He knew to expect no sympathy from Harry and that he had earned the hostility that came his way. He was a victim that no one seemed to mind.

A pensieve had shown him why. He’d used one to analyze what had occurred, objectively, as an outsider and been shocked at the cruelty he’d perpetuated. It explained Harry’s fury and avoidance of him all too well. He had not only separated from Harry, he had almost destroyed him. That night he had sat, shocked and pale at his desk, almost unable to believe he had been capable of such actions.

In the nights that followed often he lay in his quarters and reviewed those scenes and found in the morning that all appetite had fled.

Minerva who could never bear to watch people waste their food couldn’t help but say something.

“If something is sticking in your craw, Severus, that prevents you from eating, you’d best tell me about it. You know I can’t stand watching you push your food around your plate.”

She had meant to stay out of Severus and Harry’s affairs, though she often had the urge to shake the two of them. Each was more stubborn than the other and neither seemed willing to speak, unless it was to hurl imprecations. It really couldn’t go on like this. Even if they couldn’t be lovers anymore, they could at least be civil.

“I expect you to figure something out,” she said, gathering a head of steam. “You and Harry can’t go on ruining your health like this. You know each other well. Find a way forward that that will get you over this impasse.”

Severus ignored her in favor of staring at Harry, who was- contrary to his usual habit- deep in conversation with the person next to him, his old friend,Hagrid. Before he could stop and think he found himself approaching the two of them. He didn’t care what Hagrid made of it. He would ask his question now, while Harry couldn’t squirm away. And he wouldn’t turn Severus down cold, not in front of the giant.

“Can I speak to you, Harry? Today.” His interruption earned him a hard glare from Harry, however he played along for their audience and answered calmly enough.

“I really have a very full schedule at the moment, Severus. The fifth, sixth and first years all have DADA today. If it isn’t important, I’ll have to postpone our conversation.”

The calm was fake, of course, and Severus had had enough of this particular game.

“It is important, essential even. I will look you up in your rooms after dinner and we will agree how we are to interact going forward. I think you’ll agree things cannot continue as they have been. So. Till then.”

Severus marched off towards the doors without giving Harry any time for formulate a response. He did catch Harry’s expression and laughed. He looked to be bursting with rage. It wasn’t exactly the best way to begin a discussion, but it wasn’t the worst either. Severus could hardly wait for the evening.

Harry by contrast was pacing restlessly in his rooms, unable to decide how he should react to Severus. Was it too soon? Could he control his anger? As much as he couldn’t stand the sight of the man, he didn’t want to hurt him. The only certainty was that he could not shake off the darkness he held inside and no matter what he tried he kept sinking into a numbing sea, always deeper, caring less and less.

Severus’s knock dragged him from his thoughts. Coldly he invited Severus to sit down and took the chair facing him. He crossed his legs. Kreacher appeared, at Harry’s signal and served tea. Harry waited.

Severus was astounded to see that Harry had taken the elf back in his service, though it was, of course, the right thing to do. Harry hadn’t mentioned it as he hadn’t mentioned Hastings, even once. 

The elf for his part was glad to suppress all talk of what had happened. Never again would he make the mistake of betraying his master, Harry. He would be there, for both masters, and hope some day to be allowed to live in Spinner’s End again.

The elf finished with tea and with his plop of disapparation, Severus found himself gazing at his cup, uncertain how to begin. The decision on this course of action had been simple, why did he hesitate now?

He decided to lay all his cards on the table and hope Harry would understand.

“I was jealous of your success.”

“Jealous...you!’” Harry could scarcely credit it. “What would you have to be jealous about? I never gave you any cause.” He said that much without screaming.

“You thought nothing of abandoning your career as a healer. You were damned good at your job, but you just shoved it aside to become an Auror. We were a team, Harry, and you ripped us asunder.” 

“But it wasn’t like that...”. Harry protested. “I tried to tell you that I couldn’t take the healer’s work anymore, couldn’t take the pain, the suffering, all that death. It wasn’t a choice. I just couldn’t shake off the war....You didn’t listen!...” His voice rose higher as he spoke. Harry stopped abruptly as he realized that he was shouting now. He wouldn’t say more. He’d tried shouting at Severus and it hadn’t helped anything.

“No, don’t stop. Please. Let it out. I need to hear it. I should have heard you out a long time ago, but I was blinded back then.”

“Blind? Oh please, Sev, don’t make excuses. You were angry at me for for leaving you and the hospital just to run after criminals. You wanted to punish me. Well congratulations, my love, you ripped me to shreds.”

Harry sneered at the man in front of him. He wasn’t proud of what he meant to say next, but he wanted Severus to experience the pain he’d inflicted with his callous indifference.

“Did you enjoy screwing around on me? It must have been so amusing watching me make a fool of myself, running after you and flinging myself at your feet. God how I hated Hastings. I wanted to ...Harry broke off. He couldn’t say the vile name without conjuring the image of a man reduced to bloody pulp. The image was always in his mind’s eye.

“I’m not proud of what happened, but I want to explain how it got to that point,” Severus interrupted.

“Believe it or not, I get it,” answered Harry. “You were envious of my success, and wanted to make me suffer, so you fucked Hastings. I understand you perfectly, darling. I just don’t care. I don’t want to forgive you. That’s why I act the way I do. I scream at you and I’m angry and hateful because I can’t stand the fact that you screwed Hastings. I just can’t take it.”

Severus stood at some point during the rant and went to the door. He couldn’t help the disappointment in his voice, though he tried.

“There is no point talking with you if you will not give me a chance.”

“Tell me you aren’t acting all hurt just because I’m telling you the truth. You don’t have that right, Sev. Not after everything you’ve done.”

Severus shook his head, resigned to the tongue lashing. 

“I’m not playing the martyr, I just see that it is too soon for you. I really am very sorry, Harry. I know it’s not entirely Terrence’s fault. I began the affair of my own free will. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I felt abandoned and alone. Terrence Hastings made me feel important, something that I needed terribly. I never got the acknowledgement from you that I felt I needed...”

Harry let him go no further, before launching into another tirade. Severus had no real defense against his accusations, not after seeing the memories, and reliving exactly how much he had enjoyed his time with Terrence.

The truth was brutal but could not be changed. He had needed the sex with Terrence and he had enjoyed it. Terrence had been dependent and he’d loved the feeling of the willing body beneath him.

And yet he had not been himself. Even if the Pensieve couldn’t lie, there was a fact it had not captured that Harry should have known. He didn’t behave in that manner, like a sex obsessed macho creature, at least not since Sirius. But that was in a different time when all either had wanted was a meaningless liaison.

“Harry! You know that was not me in that relationship. I”m not the type to parade my sex life in front of all and sundry. Whatever you think of me, you must acknowledge that’s true. Hastings manipulated me and made me do and say things that I regret more than I can say. But the thing that tears me apart the most is that I did not stand up for you when you were wounded. I should have helped you and all I did was think of Hastings’ kisses.”

“Just go, Severus. I don’t want to hear that name. I destroyed the man because you forced me to it. So please, give me the time I need to destroy the memory as well.”

“If it were that easy we wouldn’t have these problems and we would still love each other,” said Severus, not sure what Harry was after.

“I do still love you. I never stopped loving you.” Harry’s voice stuck in his throat. “I just can’t stand you anymore. The sight of you makes me sick. Every time I see you, I see Hastings the way he groaned when you were taking him and I want to vomit.”

Harry’s eyes were sincere when they met Severus’s. It was indeed so. He had always loved Severus and could not love anyone else. It was why nothing had ever worked out with Frank or anyone else.c. “That’s my problem. If I didn’t love you, I could move on with my life. I could forgive you, even.”

Harry looked away. When he turned around again, Severus was just closing the door. 

He could have lied and denied it, but the this was how he felt. After everything that Severus had done, he still loved him. Nonetheless he had not forgiven him. He wasn’t capable yet. Not yet...


	30. Ron Gets Involved

Severus was disappointed to find Harry so recalcitrant, but not discouraged. Harry obviously needed more time. And just to hear that Harry still loved him had been a ravishing moment. Severus held it close to his heart, swearing to win this man back, whatever that might entail.

He woke early, after a short night filled this time with dreams of Harry, and immediately set to work on his plan. Step one: wherever Harry might be, he made sure to always be nearby. He didn’t try to get Harry to talk about Hastings when he was in his presence, instead he made himself available, helpful.

Harry didn’t seem to notice, but whenever he needed something, Severus was there to provide it. At breakfast he passed him the toast with a warm smile. And once, when Harry was taking a walk around the lake Severus offered a hand before he could fall in. It was the kind of clumsiness Harry seemed to indulge in more and more often. Severus almost thought Harry was acting scatterbrained on purpose in order get the attention. He felt a bit like the hero in a regency romance, engaged in a dance of courtship.

In fact Harry was nervous and uncertain around Severus and it made him awkward to the point that he was unable to pay attention to what was going on around him. That was why he slipped. And Severus had caught him, briefly.

Harry’s heart pounded in his chest long after Severus had turned to go back to the castle. As hard as he had tried to forget the man, he couldn’t deny it. He still wanted Severus. It was unanimous, heart, body and soul. And It was debilitating.

These feelings left him defenseless. He couldn’t forgive Severus; it was impossible. The minute his heart turned to Severus and he longed to throw himself in his arms, Hastings would creep into his thoughts and turn the longing to dust. Hastings was still in control of his life, even now. That wasn’t a good thing. And it wasn’t fair.

Harry threw himself down on the shore in frustration and it was there Hagrid found him some time later, staring out at the lake, watching the light play on the water. Hagrid had pieced together the situation from the small confidences Harry let slip and he was full of sympathy for his old friend, who looked so lost. It wasn’t right. Harry deserved better and Severus, too.

“You know, Harry,” he began, his booming voice breaking the stillness. Harry looked up, surprised. He had been absorbed in the view, trying to store up strength from the peace and tranquility of nature. Hagrid tried again. “I wonder if it wouldn’t go better, now, if you tried to forgive him, gave it a try like.”

Harry gaped at him. “You mean I should just forget everything Severus did to me and go on as if it never happened? I don’t know if I can do that!”

“Well you’re not getting anywhere sitting here feeling sorry for yourself, are you Harry? You should see yourself. You’ve got rings the size of saucers under yer eyes. And you’re never really there if you know what I mean, except for with the children. It’s not good to take up with loneliness. Loneliness doesn’t keep you warm at night.”

“Do you ever regret not getting together with Madame Maxine?” Harry asked.

“Aye, sometimes. But she wasn’t the one for me. When it came down to it all we really had in common was our size. And that’s not much for two people to build on, I’d say.”

“Well if you can live without a partner and be happy, why can’t I do it?” Harry wasn’t ready to concede the point.

“Because you’re just not the kind to live alone. It’s a dead end for you. Me, I’ve got my animals to take care of, but what have you got? A couple of weeks teaching the young uns and then it’s back to London. What are you going to do until it’s time for next year’s class? Do you really want to live yer life talking to Aurors who see the hero but don’t see Harry? You shouldn’t burrow yourself away like a mole. That’s not you. You’re the kind that wilts without someone to love. Just think about it, all right, Harry?”

Harry could not muster a response. Hagrid’s words hit close to the bone, but it didn’t make heeding them one whit easier. Hagrid turned around and went back to his hut, leaving Harry to his thoughts.

In truth the old grounds keeper’s concern for Harry went deeper than he’d let on. He’d exchanged a number of owls with Theo and he was no longer just thinking about Harry’s relationship with Severus. He didn’t like what Severus had done to Harry and he didn’t like what Hastings had done to Severus either, but what he was most concerned about was the dark magic he saw in Harry’s eyes.

Theo had described Sirius’s theory that Harry’s dark magic could eclipse his sense of self and grow out of control.

It looked to him like Harry was about to give up fighting the dark magic in order to escape his pain. They’d always agreed, he and Sirius, that what happened to Tom Riddle could have been prevented if the man had found a loving home, but he hadn’t. And now here was Harry who needed Severus’s love to find himself, but refused it. If one soul could fall, in the dark alone, why couldn’t another? Harry might become a dark lord himself; it was growing in him.

But there was one thing that Harry had that Voldemort hadn’t, good friends who would not stand by and let him drift into monstrosity.

******

At the castle, Seveus was standing at the window, watching with curiosity as Hagrid stopped to talk to Harry. From the way they stared at each other it was obvious that Harry was not enjoying what Hagrid had to say, and equally obvious that Hagrid would not be stopped from saying it.

In the past, Hagrid had never struck him as type who could play therapist to his friends, however he seemed to be finding the right words to reach Harry now. Harry’s expression looked animated, and he seemed more self possessed than he had in days.

Maybe that was the way to go about it. Perhaps he needed to forget his guilt and focus on finding another way to reach Harry. What he had to say wasn’t the kind of declaration that could be made from a place of shame. Words couldn’t excuse what he had done, anyway. Before he spoke, he would show with his deeds that Harry could believe in him.

It’s not that Severus would never forget what he had brought down onto Harry. Thanks to his selfish behavior, Harry had been forced to take on Hastings . He had never wanted to destroy anyone, but he had. For Severus. Harry had freed him and he was grateful, grateful and ashamed. Harry’s commitment to helping him that had shown him how selfish he himself had been. And he had felt guilty and welcomed his punishment, but life had to go on, even his. All this self flagellation didn’t help. He needed to act.

Hagrid had turned and was walking away. Now! Now was his chance. Severus dashed out the castle and down to the lake. Harry was still there, still rooted to the shore, with his face buried in his hands.

“Harry.” Severus opened his arms wide and waited. He would not push. He was here to console only. To be there.

Harry looked up. Severus didn’t waver, didn’t speak.

Harry hesitated, trying to convince himself that he didn’t want Severus, he didn’t need him and he was better off without him, but he failed miserably.

With a little cry he threw himself in his one time partner’s arms and breathed in his unmistakable scent, clinging like a drunk.

For Severus, the sensation was beyond words, to hold Harry in his arms and offer him his love and strength. To his relief, Harry did not push him away. Severus closed his eyes and gave himself over to the moment.

*****

“I’m worried about Harry.” They were all in the garden at the new house, Ron, Hermione and George, chatting while they watched the children, when George brought up what was eating him. He couldn’t get Harry’s lost expression out of his head and he had to do something. “I asked Theo to keep in touch with Hagrid, so we’d know how he was doing. But I know from personal experience how easy it is to fool everyone.”

“Are you sure you’re not overreacting?” Hermione asked, kindly. “I mean, Harry’s an adult, we can’t just show up without a by-your-leave just because we’re worried, can we? I know this isn’t an easy time for him, but it’s not like he’d do something stupid just like that, not anymore.”

She kept one eye on her children, while she tried to reassure her brother-in-law. “Did he do or say something that makes you think he’s not OK?”

“I just recognized the look in his eye, so to speak,”. George squirmed in his chair and gave his brother a hurt look, before deciding to close his mouth. Hermione was not fooled, however. The two of them were hiding something.

“And what gives you this sudden insight, then, George?” she asked, suspicious this time. “What aren’t you two telling me?”

“I really can’t tell you, love.” Ron looked every which way, clearly uncomfortable, “it’s not my secret to tell.”

George came to Ron’s rescue.  
“I’m the reason Ron can’t tell you. I made him promise not to say anything.” He took Hermione’s hand. “Back when Fred died I really lost it. I don’t know what I would have done if Ron here hadn’t noticed. He talked to me and built me up and he didn’t let me out of his sight. If he hadn’t been there I don’t know if I would be sitting here now. I was close to the edge, Hermione, really close. And Harry is too. I know it.”

“George, why didn’t you say anything?” Hermione had tears in he eyes. “I would have been there for you.”

But Ron had been there. This was the man she had married. At first glance he might have seemed a poor match for her, awkward and sometimes hamfisted, but she loved his heart and she wouldn’t trade him for anything.

“That doesn’t matter right now, Hermione,” George continued. “I wasn’t able to talk to anyone then. And Harry can’t either. That’s the point. He has that same empty look I remember having before Ronnikins here sicced himself on me.” George poked his brother playfully in the ribs.

“Do you really think Harry might do something to hurt himself?”

“Yeah, I do think so. I’m pretty sure he’s on the verge of collapse.” There was a pregnant pause before George spoke again. “Sirius raised the possibility that Harry might choose suicide if he was overtaken by his dark magic. He wouldn’t want to be a danger to others. Sirius knows Harry well; he knows what makes him tick. He thinks the fact that he beat Hastings to a pulp and condemned him to a life of pain is hanging over him like the sword of Damocles. It’s eating him up inside.”

“Now I think you are exaggerating. This is Harry we’re talking about. He’s not the type to do something like that, no matter what the circumstances. Harry is a fighter. And he loves us. We’re his family and he would never want to hurt us like that.”

Hermione swallowed down her tears and tried to convince herself everything was under control. Since the miscarriage she was less resilient, more easily upset. She had experienced how frail life could be and treasured all the more the family that she had. Would Harry throw the family he’d chosen away and take the easy way out?   
She didn’t believe it for a second.

“Well, anyway, now you know what we’re thinking.” He ignored Hermione’s protest; he knew what he’d seen. Harry’s strength wasn’t holding out. 

“Why don’t we ask Theo to clarify what he’s heard? Of course, it would still be speculation. We don’t really know anything.”

“No,” Ron spoke up. “We have no choice but to find out for ourselves how Harry is doing. After all, he was always there for us when we needed him. It’s hardly too much trouble to look for him in case he needs us.”

 

“Do you think you can manage the store without me for a few days?” He asked George, with a little gleam in his eye. “And can I leave you alone with the kids?” He turned to his wife, giving her a loving look, “”I don’t want you to do too much. You’re not fully recovered yet.”

“I’ll stay here, if that’s all right with you,” George interrupted. “That way I can see to the children and keep an eye on your woman till you come back.”

“Hey,” Hermione pretended to be offended, though she liked feeling taken care of, “Said woman is right here, thank you very much, and she can speak for herself.”

“We know that, Hermione,” Ron and George chorussed and then burst into laughter.

The two brothers’ eyes met. They understood each other perfectly. They would stick together. Hermione would not be left to handle things alone. It was all Ron needed to know.

“I think I’ll leave tomorrow and pay Harry a little visit. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see me.”


	31. A Turn for the Better

Harry lay in bed, tossing and turning. It was just a hug, he told himself, a pleasant, wonderful...all right mind blowingly good one, but still just a hug.

Sick of trying to sleep and failing, he got out of bed and slipped some joggers over his shorts. The nights had gotten noticeably cooler lately. Severus’s hands would feel good on him right now, he thought. He missed the man’s hands, and the strength of him and the wonderful feelings he called up in Harry. The way he loved Severus was so much more intense than anything he ever felt for Frank or Blaise.

He only realized he was pacing when his stride shortened, slowing down as he remembered the day before, how they had stood together on the shores of the lake and held each other. It had a been a long time since he had felt so good. It was terrifying.

He knew by now that Severus was the right person for him, the only person he could love like that. But did he dare trust him completely again? What if Severus decided one day Harry wasn’t who he wanted anymore? It had happened once before, after all, and it had almost destroyed him. Why would now be any different? What guarantee did he have that it was safe to throw caution to the winds and give himself over to Severus?

Harry went through he motions of his routine, while his mind churned. He ate breakfast in the great hall, found his classroom and taught his classes, hardly noticing how he got from one place to another. His thoughts wandered, but they landed over and over on Severus.

Was Severus telling the truth? Could it really be true what he was offering? Why should he believe it? Because he is fighting for you, a voice whispered from his core, even as he absently handed out exam books, and leaned back in his chair, mulling it over to the soothing sound of quills scribbling over parchment. 

Yesterday Severus hadn’t made any wild speeches testifying to his love; he had just been there for Harry. The words he had spoken had been promises nonetheless, he knew, vows he meant to keep. Severus had vowed that all would be well, that they could find their way together, that they could be happy.

Harry had needed to hear those words and he had been primed to hear them after that push from Hagrid, who, along with everyone else he knew was convinced that he and Severus belonged together. But should he listen to his friends? Well, Severus made him weak in the knees, that much was certainly true.

He collected the exams and shooed the students on to their next class, unable for once to answer any questions. He had a hard time hiding how absent he was. His mind was empty of everything except Severus.

At dinner they were sat together- indeed were they every apart lately?-and Harry became ever more discombobulated. His movements became jerky and his breathing uneven with no chance to escape from the man’s presence.

Yet Severus did not take the opportunity to impose. Occasionally his arm or leg brushed Harry’s and that was all. He seemed to enjoy his food, though, sawing away at the meat and loving every bite. It was very hard for Harry to witness how much.

He had to sit there and watch as his neighbor at table lovingly broke off just a little corner of his apple tart, and slowly and blissfully brought it home to his mouth, to be followed by a spoonful of ice cream. The resulting explosion of flavors could be read on his face and Harry heard himself moan in sympathy. Who knew how sensuously a person could eat apple tart and vanilla ice cream?

This was even worse than when Severus had pledged his love again. How dared he put on such a show? Harry wouldn’t be able ignore his erection much longer, not if he wanted to last out the evening. His cock pulsed, almost painfully hard in his pants and Harry changed his estimation of its status from needs attention soon to right fucking now.

He had no idea how he made his way out of the great hall and back to his quarters. A glance in the mirror showed him how red his cheeks were, as he stripped of the constricting layers of his clothes with trembling fingers. Naked now, he stroked his nipples with the pads of his thumbs. It made his cock jerk and Harry groaned out loud and headed for the bathroom. He needed to be in the shower for this. 

In the stall, with the warm water beating down, he was finally able to give himself over to his lust. He fondled his erection, moving his hand up and down, faster and faster until the lighter grip wasn’t enough and he formed a ring with the fingers of his right hand around it, shoving and fucking into the tight circle.

He was panting, getting ready to come, his motions faster and faster. He reached one hand behind and pressed his thumb against his perineum while sticking the pointer into his arse, finger reaching for finger, grappling toward the center of his pleasure. He felt the muscle relax and then he was on the prostate from both sides. A few seconds later he was crying out and spurting into his fist. With a shudder he wrung the last of his spend out of his cock, while the water ran down and down his body.

And then he was crying. It must have been the release of tension as he came down from the orgasm, he told himself. Just stress. Nothing to worry about. Only it was such a relief to feel the whole strain of the day simply fall away.

Why wasn’t he capable of this kind of serenity of spirit all the time? Why couldn’t he embrace his love and forgive his lover? Why must he always crawl back into the lonely dark? Harry had no idea how to change his direction, but he knew that as long as he could not control the black magic he had in him, he would not be ready to tie himself to another person.

He did not want to damage anyone.

He sighed. Nothing he could do about it now. He dried himself off, slipped on his pajamas and went to bed, hoping he would sleep better this time.

Harry fell asleep quite quickly, but his sleep was disturbed by wild dreams and brought no real rest. He awoke after a couple of hours, still worn out and did not bother trying to sleep again, merely splashing a little water on his face before leaving his rooms to prepare his morning classes. 

They were testing dueling today which should be fun. He was curious to find out whether his students’ combat skills would match their efforts in theory so far. The practicum would require a few adjustments to the room, and he was just rearranging the furniture when there was a knock on the door.

“Ron!” He cried in astonishment, as his best friend of all people, appeared before him. “Is something going on with Hermione?” His thoughts flew first to her, because otherwise he couldn’t imagine what Ron was doing there.

“Hermione’s fine,” Ron hastened to reassure him. “It’s you we’re worried about. That’s why I’m here.” Ron had decided to come right out with it. Harry could always tell when he tried to dissemble, anyway.

“What are you talking about? You’re here to check up on me? I’m fine. Really. And what do you mean, we? Did Hermione put you up to this?”

“It was a group effort, actually. I was to come here, as your friend, because I care about you and that’s what friends do. All you have to do is prove you’re doing as great as you say you are and I’ll be out of your hair before you can say quidditch. Although looking at you now I’d say I’ll be here a good long while.”

They stared at each other until Harry lowered his eyes. Ron had always been stubborn when it came to things he really cared about and generally outlasted Harry when they quarreled.

“There’s nothing wrong, Ron, alright? You’ve got nothing to worry about.” Harry tried one last time.

“Brilliant. So you have no trouble controlling your dark magic, you never feel like hurting yourself and you’re in a great place, working through all your problems.”

“Ron!”

“What? All you have to do is say yes to all three questions and you’re rid of me.”

Harry grimaced at his friend. “You know I can’t do that or you wouldn’t be here. Come on, tell me the truth, who sent you. Was it Hermione?”

“Nope. George.”

Ron peered cautiously at Harry, waiting for the inevitable fit of temper, but in this as everything else, Harry was not behaving as usual and he just stood there, silent.

“Harry, you know how hard George took it when Fred died. He and your godfather are really concerned about you. They’re afraid that you’ll....”. Ron couldn’t continue. He didn’t want to say suggest what George and Sirius were afraid Harry would do without giving Harry a chance to confess first.

“I’m an adult, Ron. I can decide for myself how I live my life. You can’t just show up here and start dictating to me!”

“Yeah, that’s what George said, too, back when, and good thing I didn’t listen. The thing is your feelings are what they are and that has nothing to do with your age. I’m your friend. You know you can tell me anything, right? Even if it’s something that you can’t make sense of yourself. It might help. You’ll never know till you try.” Ron kept his eyes on Harry’s, unflagging and Harry caved.

“Thanks,” he said simply and pulled Ron in for a hug. “I’m glad you’re here. I think I might actually be losing it.”

“Anytime. You know I’m always there for you; you just have to let me.”

Embarrassed by the excess of emotion, they parted.

“So...you hungry?” Harry asked the first thing that popped into his head.

“You know me. I’m always up for a meal.”

Laughing and joking around, they made their way up to the great hall where Severus was waiting for them. He’d recognized Ron’s voice from a distance and like Harry he wondered what the man was doing there. Was he going to make trouble and interfere in Severus’s plans to reconnect with Harry?

Severus waited till Weasley had made his greetings with Minerva and accepted an invitation to sit with the staff before he spoke, keeping his tone this side of polite.

“Mister Weasley. I doubt they can spare a man of your talents at Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes. What could possibly bring you to Hogwarts so early on a workday?”

Ron bristled. “Well, Professor Snape...”

“Hey, since when are you two so formal?” Harry interrupted, irritated at them both. “Haven’t you been on a first name basis for years, or am I missing something?” 

“Let’s just say Ron and I have had our differences, lately.” Severus thought it best not to be more precise about what exactly had transpired between them after his separation from Harry.

Harry glared at Ron who merely shrugged.

“Hey, I promised I wouldn’t beat him up; I never said I wouldn’t fight with him.”

Harry elected not to respond, helping himself to coffee and spreading butter on his toast without saying another word. Ron apparently oblivious to the silent treatment, also applied himself to his breakfast with gusto.

And then, to Harry’s utter astonishment, he began an intense conversation with Severus. While their initial interaction could not have been colder, the two of them were now conspiring together like old chums.

Minerva leaned over and tapped Harry on the arm.

“Don’t let the two of them bother you. They’re just doing it to get on your nerves.”

“I think they’ve gone mad,” Harry muttered under his breath and Minerva laughed. Harry gave it up and pushed back his chair; it was time to get to class. He addressed his best friend, ignoring for the moment that Ron had his head next to Severus’s, deep in discussion.

“Ron, If you like and you have the time, you can act as assistant in my class.”

Hearing his name, Ron looked up.

“Huh? Did you say something?”

“I said,” Harry repeated more than a little irritated, “Do you want to help me teach?” What he really wanted to know was what the two of them had to whisper about.

“Oh, yeah, sure!” Answered Ron and stood up as if he’d never been speaking to Severus. “You’re dueling, right? Shall we show the kiddies what we’ve got?”

“Ron, they’re students not kiddies, please.” 

Ron just laughed unrepentantly and even had the nerve as he left to give Severus a little wave goodbye.

The potion master wasn’t sure what Weasley meant with these little maneuvers, nor did he care. For the first time on a long time, Harry was poking his nose out of his shell. Having Ron around was was obviously good for him. 

What would be good for Harry had, in fact, been the subject of the conversation that had kept them so occupied over breakfast. To his vast relief, Ron and Harry’s other friends saw the situation as he did and wanted to bring him and Harry together again. He and Ron had even arranged to discuss it privately, a good sign that those who loved Harry best would not see his suit as inimical to him.

His thoughts were still turning on Harry when he walked into his class. All eyes turned to him waiting for what he would do as the students placed their cauldrons over their flames.

“Please turn your books to page 187 where we see the recipe for Wolfsbane. Who can tell me the uses of this potion?...Mr. Wentworth...it seems you must have some ideas, since you are eagerly communicating with your neighbor.”

Raising a lofty left brow, he let the students know that he would not be putting up with any nonsense, while inside his heart sang.  
All would be well in the end. He could taste it.


	32. An Important Step

“Who are you trying to convince with this?” Ron was almost shouting at Harry, who was being his most bullheaded self.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Harry insisted, “but what’s between me and Severus, our relationship, or rather our non-relationship has nothing to do with what’s going on with me. And I really don’t want to discuss it right now.”

“OK. Let’s say I believe you. That doesn’t explain why you won’t talk about Hastings, ever. You know that’s not right, Harry. That’s knocked you six ways from Sunday and you know it. You absolutely savaged Terrence Hastings and now you can’t believe you were capable of it. You’re horrified by what you did. Admit it; I’m right.”

Ron stared helplessly at his friend and wished Severus were there to back him up. Someone had to make Harry admit what a toll it was taking, what he had done to Hastings. And all the denial was beginning to make Ron uneasy. Had he read the situation right?

He’d been at Hogwarts for three days and he still couldn’t figure out if Harry was really suffering from depression the way George had, or if he just needed to be left in peace.  
Most of the time Harry acted completely normal and Ron would almost think they’d all overreacted and then Harry would do something that revealed what a mess he was after all: Harry’s permanent refusal to talk about Terrance Hastings was one of those things

“Terrence Hastings deserved every kick and punch he got from me.” Harry’s voice shook as he said the man’s name outloud.

“Then why can’t you stand to talk about him?”

“Damn it, Ron. He turned Severus away from me. He made sure that I...He took my fucking home from me. I was happy for ten years at Spinner’s End and he made it so that all I can feel for the place is disgust. Do you understand? Ten fabulous, happy years and he ruined them.”

“Is it the house that disgusts you, or the owner?” Ron wasn’t going to let up now that they were finally getting somewhere.

“Both, I suppose,” Harry said, his hands in his hair. He wondered when in the last few days Ron had morphed into a clinical psychologist. He’d never been one for ferreting things out of you before.

Ron didn’t feel good about how things were going at Hogwarts. It was depressingly always the same point that they hovered around. He’d spoken to Minerva and Hagrid and most of the other professors in turn to get their angle on Harry, but it hadn’t turned up much and it hadn’t been much fun trying to hide the reasons for his questions, since everyone wanted to know why he was there. 

In the end he decided to focus his efforts on Severus. He was by no means certain that it would work, but the only fact he knew for sure was that Harry was happy when he was with Severus, so that’s what he would do: everything possible to get them back together.

As the highlight of this plan, he met with Severus at Hagrid’s hut to find out, in plain terms, what Severus saw for the future.

“I would be more than happy to have Harry by me, but I he may not to be able to trust me enough to let me near him again.”

Ron swallowed, remembering the the open, almost painful declaration Severus had made. “Since my betrayal, my love has grown greater than before, not less. There is nothing I wouldn’t give to have him in my arms again, and to keep him safe this time.”

“I know Harry,” Ron said, and I’m certain that he loves you more than any one or anything on this earth.” God he hoped he was doing the right thing, tying his wagon to Severus’s.

“I know he loves me. He’s already assured me of that. But what am I supposed to do? I can’t force him to give me another chance. I want Harry to be happy and if that means letting him go, then I will.”

“You’re not supposed to give up on him; you’re supposed to fight for him, idiot,” Ron was not having any of that. “This is what it is. Harry can’t stand what he felt he had to do. In his eyes, he had to destroy Hastings so that you could be safe, right? But now he feels like a monster because he sent Hastings to Mungo’s on a one way ticket. Do you even know what he did to him?”

“Harry said he beat him to a pulp. I haven’t gotten more out of him than that.”

“Yeah, well that’s a good description of Hastings’ face; I agree with Harry there, but that’s not what’s bothering Harry. The problem is more the part where he ripped his tongue out so that he could never speak again. Oh and he broke every bone in his body, at least what he could reach in such a short period of time. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not shedding any tears for that arsewipe, but Harry is. He can’t stop thinking that he’s turned into a monster and he did it for you.”

“Harry is hardly a monster. He did what he thought necessary and I’m not going to gainsay it. Whatever horror he dealt is a meet punishment for what I did to him under Hastings’ influence, yes and a just outlet for his anger at me, which is richly deserved.”

“Cut the crap, alright , Severus! That is not the attitude that Harry needs, yeah? He needs you to be strong, not running around putting yourself down all the time. The next time you see him, just push him against the nearest wall and show him how you feel. He doesn’t need your excuses; he needs your love, ‘cos right now he thinks he’s unworthy of love, some kind of dark person on the path to evil, like Voldemort.” 

Severus tried. Ron could see he was courting Harry, but he was always holding back, afraid of making some irredeemable mistake, and ruining everything. 

Such was the situation three days into Ron’s intervention at Hogwarts, with Severus and Harry at a standstill. Neither of them had forgotten their embrace down by the lake, but they hadn’t spoken of it. Ron’s attempts to push from Harry’s side were all in vain. Or they were until he had the craziest, most ludicrous idea.

Now Ron was in his element. All this pussyfooting around with people’s feelings was not his kind of planning, but now he was thinking tactically and tactics were where Ron shone. After Minerva gave him the go ahead for what he had in mind, he contacted Theodore. Everything would be ready before he presented the whole to Harry and said simply: follow me.

Harry did wonder, but since it was Ron and he trusted him, he went along without asking questions, following Ron to the apparition point, a little curious what he would find. He recognized Severus from a distance. Apparently he was going to be one of their party. Harry couldn’t help snapping at his friend.

“I warn you, Ron, don’t take this too far.” 

“Trust me, Harry. Maybe you’ll hate me after this and never speak to me again, but if it works, it will be worth it.”

“If that’s supposed to make me feel better, I have to tell you it didn’t work. I’m not as easy going as I used to be.”

Ron laughed nervously at Harry’s half jest and looked from him to Severus.

“I’m going to take you both with me by side along apparition. Please close your eyes and relax so we can minimize the chance of splinching.”

Harry’s cry of “Ron!” And Severus’s of “Is that supposed to be amusing, Mr. Weasley?” Came at almost the same time and Ron broke into a guffaw.

“Just a little joke. Not to be rude, but you two are way too serious. A little fun never hurt anyone.”

If looks could kill, Ron would have died on the spot and Hermione would have been left to George’s tender mercies, however they popped up in the right place only seconds later with no harm done.

Severus made a point of glaring at Ron and smoothing down his robes before looking around to see where they’d landed.

“Perhaps, if it’s not too much trouble you might tell us what all this hush hush business is about? I confess that my interest is ever so slightly piqued.”

Ron marched over to the entrance of what turned out to be Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes and opened the door, inviting them to come in. There George, who had apparently been expecting them, led their guests up the stairs to the flat he had over the store.

“Now don’t be such sourpusses. No one’s died and I can guarantee you that Ron’s idea isn’t half bad, especially after a little tweaking from yours truly.” He gestured towards some waiting chairs. “Please make yourselves at home. Can I get you something to drink? Water, tea, coffee?”

Neither Harry nor Severus responded, merely staring resolutely ahead as they took their seats. George thought it was funny and spoke half laughing, “I’m sorry, but you two are peas in a pod. Admit it, there’s a little resemblance there even when you’re trying not to like each other.”

Harry couldn’t stand the suspense another minute and turned to his friend.

“Come on, Ron. Stop jerking us around. I promise I’ll forgive you for driving me crazy if you’ll just tell me what is going on!”

“OK but I’m going to keep you to that promise,” Ron said, only half kidding.

Severus who had been holding back till now looked searchingly at the two brothers.

“Am I right in assuming that we will not like what you have planned for us?”

“That may turn out to be the case,” Ron answered, “however, if we have to force you to do this next thing we will. The two of you haven’t been able to get past Terrence Hastings, so we thought...”

“Ron! I told you that I don’t want to talk about him. Why can’t you get that?” Harry spat back. He hurled himself out of his chair and stomped through George’s living room towards the door.  
“I do get it. I got it the first time you told me, I just don’t care. You have to come to terms with Terrence Hastings or it will do you in.”

Severus, who could put two and two together, turned to Ron in astonishment. 

“This is your brilliant idea? You really mean to force us to see Hastings? How is that helpful? I really don’t know what good it could do to bring me in his presence again...and Harry! How do you have the temerity to do this to him, your best friend?”

“Well that was the plan, more or less.” Ron said firmly, refusing to be irritated by Severus’s tone. “We’ve tried everything else and nothing seems to change how the two of you are together. You know it can’t go on like this.”

And Harry.” Ron turned to his friend. “The truth is we’re afraid you’ll do something to yourself if you don’t get over your guilt.”

“I don’t feel guilty, Ron. I keep telling you that...”

“Then it won’t bother you to come with me to St. Mungo’s and see Hastings where he lies in agony!”

Harry looked as if he wanted to murder Ron. He was within a hair’s breath of doing it, George thought, watching him carefully. His hands were balled in fists and his breathing erratic. He was going to explode. George sighed, getting ready to intervene, when Harry surprised him with his next words.

“Fine. You win. Let’s go find out what happens when we’re all together with this guy in a room. But if Severus turns into a raving arsehole again, I can’t promise that Hastings is going to survive. I won’t be able to hold myself back a second time. Not with him.”

“He can’t manipulate me anymore, Harry,” Severus interrupted Harry’s rant. “You made sure that he would never speak again. I can’t thank you enough for taking that action. Thanks to you, the worst experience of my life lies safely in the past.”

Severus felt goosebumps in the back of his neck, as he recalled his enslavement. Even the memory of the man’s voice made him shudder.

Harry, however, called him back to the here and now, where he was not so certain that it was all over. He was plagued by the fear that he had missed something, left some loophole.

“You all don’t really know that, you’re just assuming that it’s so. But who am I to have second thoughts about going near this guy? I’m just the arsehole you call in to clean up when it all goes to hell. It was that way with Voldemort. Why should Hastings be any different?”

“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, Harry,” The potions master spoke, his eyes never leaving Harry’s. “I won’t let him inveigle his way into my being ever again, do you understand? I have left that time in my life behind me forever. I had to pay a high price for getting involved with him. That cannot and will not ever happen again, even if Terrance miraculously recovered his ability to speak.”

“That’s all well and good, but what about his scent?” Harry made one last objection, though he already knew that they would go to the hospital that day, whatever the consequences might be.

“All I have to do is stand by you and take in your scent,” Severus replied and blushed like a young lad at the words. He did not miss Hastings’ scent in the least, however he drank in Harry’s personal aroma, when he had the chance to discern it, with the greatest pleasure. Severus knew it was too soon, but he felt how much more he loved Harry, the more he was near him.

It was time to go. Dutifully, Harry went, hurrying the few meters to the Leaky Cauldron. Almost casually he touched his wand to the stones that opened the entrance to Muggle London and with a last furious look in Ron’s direction, he braced himself and walked through. There was no point in rowing. They’d find out soon enough if he could handle what came next.


End file.
